I need advice on getting over a friend's death? I'm desperate for advice please?

Question

I use to be extremely close to this boy named Raven. He was a compulsive liar, and it began to affect me. So we had a falling out, and although he tried to get back in touch with me, I kept myself away from him. Months later he died in a car accident. I was still angry at him, and although it sounds terrible, I didn't start to care about his death till about two years later. Then I began crying over him, and realized how much I loved him, and how much I really cared. It kills me to know he died hating me, and knowing I hated him at that time. I still love him, but have tried to move on. I'll have dreams about him still, we'll be together and be happy, but in real life I've come to the realization that he's gone, and I have to move on with my life. I am doing okay now, dealing with his memory. However, I've been contemplating whether or not I should go up to our old school and get a year book from our school year together. I don't have any pictures of him, and would really wish to see his face again. I'm not sure if this would be good for me, or bad for me. If it would just open up old wounds, make it harder for me to move on, and undo all the moving on I've already accomplished, or help me to cherish his memory. What do you think? Should I get a picture of him, or not? Would it only make things harder for me?

Answer 1

Get  a picture, make a little altar and say a proper goodbye to him. hope that helps feel so sorry for you goin to call my friend haven't seen in  a while tell him I love him  

Answer 2

The way you delayed realizing your grief indicates there is something else missing from your life besides just your friend.  You have to find out what it is and then find it  and start living it.

Your whole relationship is what will stand, not just the final spat.  A picture might be nice in years to come.  Time will take care of the rest.  

Answer 3

First off don't beat yourself up over this as much as it is hard to do.  I know I beat myself up over a lot of things similar to this situation.  You have to put it into perspective his problem of compulsive lying was putting a strain on your friendship.  You were protecting yourself from getting hurt by him time and time again.  I used to date a compulsive liar and you bang your head against the wall time and time again and don't know when to trust him or not.  I don't think you hated him as much as you said you did when this all went down.  You were hurt and when we are hurt we say and do things we don't mean.  That is understood in human nature and as much as things got worse between you two the underlying for caring for each other was there.  I also think that is understood and not have to said sometimes.  So I would suggest you do cherish his memory he obviously came into your life for a reason and shouldn't ignore it.  I think seeing his face can help and maybe you can talk to his picture he can hear you so do it.  I think it will make you feel better.  Good luck!!!

Answer 4

I think you should get the picture.

Becuz honestly from the way this sounds

you need to see that pic to get some closure.

Maybe you could even visit his grave?

It jus sounds like you need to do one

of those things to get better.