I need advice on how to help my husband deal with PTSD and manic depression with blackouts and moodswings!?

Question

We have undergone a huge amount of stress this year a long with owning a business, having a baby, losing a job, almost eviction, utilities being shut off, vehicles breaking down, vehicle repo, as well as dealing with anxiety disorter,PTSD, and manic depression. My husband is an awesome guy and only the last 3 years has he started having bad moodswings 2 have turn out violent where I have been left with a black eye and bruises. He had a lot of abuse from his sister beating him as a child and we think that could be the cause. We have no money to get counseling, but he wants to get help now! He is having a hard time dealing with the fact he hit me, and i am concerned for him. He comes from a family that never faught around him a day in his life. He never heard his parents or family argue once. The only problem was his sister. 1 week ago he blacked out, yes we were both drinking, and he thought I got on top of him and started hitting him which I didn't, and he got very violent and I had to run out of my house. The next morning he did not even remember or know what he did untill someone told him, he just thought I left him for no reason. He said he never wants to drink ever again and hasn't, wants to get counseling and see if he needs medication as well. I want to stand by him and support him but a little afraid he might do it again but worse. On the otherhand he is ill and needs help and I do not want to turn away from that. He has never showed any violent behavior towards his son what so ever. He is the best Dad in the world,and loves me with all of his heart, he wants to leave me because he is afraid this might happen again even after treatment. Please help, what do I do, should I stick around if he really gets the help he needs, or should I leave him anyway?

Answer 1

He needs to acknowledge that he has PTSD and depression and get treatment. I would probably leave for a while until he gets under control of ask a member of the family to live with us. I would not want him to hurt me or my child and not remember until the next day.  

Answer 2

he needs medical treatment and now contact a local counseling agency or talk to a medical doctor

Answer 3

I think you need to go, together, to your GP. There is a lot of support out there. Good luck.

Answer 4

I think you should seek very professional advice, so that you can both understand fully about his disorders, and anxieties.  Some behaviours are frightening and you both sound afraid of how things are.  Could you speak to a family doctor?  I don't think this is something you can manage without proper help or treatments.  Good luck. x

Answer 5

First of all, has he been formally diagnosed, or do you just think he has these things? I'm assuming he hasn't seen anyone about it, because any doctor would have put him on medication.

Also, I question at this point whether he is really "blacking out" and seeing things or using it as an excuse after he's beaten you up, knowing full well that you'll buy it.

Tell him to either get the help he needs and get treatment, or you are gone. Talk to doctors in the area about payment plans and treatment options. Many will do a sliding scale, allowing you to pay based on what you can afford.

Good luck.  

Answer 6

your husband should speak to his GP as soon as possible and you should go with him, you can get counselling through the NHS and your doctor would prescribe something to ease his anxiety/depression, i know its scary for you cause your unsure when his next moodswing will strike but as soon as he gets medical attention the better.

good luck to both of you and i hope everything gets better

Answer 7

He needs professional help. Find someone who will charge on a sliding scale (will charge only what you can afford).

This isn't the sort of thing that can be dealt with on one's own.

There are inexpensive or even free options. For instance, if you were to press charges, most likely he'd be ordered into therapy.

Answer 8

See a therapist, together and apart, right away. Cal around for a reduced or free visit, at the county mental health facility or a private counselor that will help.

Answer 9

Major professional intervention needed her, therapy, medication, family support, residential therapy program are all ways to address this issue and you need this help and it is available

Answer 10

Not sure where you live, but many states have programs designed to help with exactly what your husband is suffering.  You could check your phone book under Health and Human Services.  They can guide you in the right direction.  Also, there is a toll free number for National Alliance for the Mentally Ill 1-800-633-3760.  Your county may have a health clinic that could help.

Hope this information helps.

Answer 11

The short answer is that you need professional help.

My ex had PTSD caused by a tour of duty so I completely sympathise.

Believe me when I say that the instances you have described could only be the beginning of much worse events.  Manic depression with blackouts and moodswings are symptoms of mental illness and before you think I am exaggerating... mental illnesses are very common. In fact, they are more common than cancer, diabetes or heart disease. According to the U.S. Surgeon General, an estimated 23% of American adults (those ages 18 and older)—about 44 million people—and about 20% of American children suffer from a mental disorder during a given year.

Mental illness is any disease or condition affecting the brain that influences the way a person thinks, feels, behaves and/or relates to others and to his or her surroundings. Although the symptoms of mental illness can range from mild to severe and are different depending on the type of mental illness.

A mental illness, like many chronic illnesses, requires ongoing treatment. This is not something you can deal with without seeking help. Many mental conditions can be effectively treated with one or a combination of the treatments/therapies.

Please do not suffer this alone. Whilst there are no quick fixes, there are websites and books where you can obtain more information. However, his condition should be properly diagnosed and assessed in case any medication is required. However much you love this man, your love cannot replace medication he might need.

Good luck.

Answer 12

WOW I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOUR GOING THROUGH ALL THIS, BUT I THINK THAT THE SAFEST THING TO DO FOR NOW IS PART FOR A WHILE UNTIL HE CAN GET SOME MEDICAL ATTENTION AND COUNSELING. YES INDEED HE MAY BE A GREAT MAN AND FATHER BUT WITH ANY MENTAL ILLNESS YOU MUST BE VERY CAREFUL. TALK WITH ONE ANOTHER AND LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU DO LOVE HIM AND DO INDEED WANT TO BE THERE FOR HIM BUT THAT YOU MUST DO IT AWAY JUST UNTIL HE CAN GET THE HELP HE NEEDS