I need advice - spec. needs son targeted at school?

Question

Hi all-

I really need some advice. I have a son who is in the 6th grade. He has undiagnosed spec. needs- primarily language based with other global delays. He has alot of autistic traits. He attends an integrated public school for grades 5-9. Okay- Yesterday (Friday) I got an email from his spc. ed teacher letting me know there had been an incident. My son was walking down the hall with 3 other 6th grade boys, when a 9th grader (not a spec. needs child) came from the other direction. When the older boy reached the younger boys, he very aggressively shoved my son up against a row of lockers. The younger boys told a teacher immediately and the school reacted very quickly- ultimately giving the older boy out of school suspension for the rest of the day and Monday. Okay- I know 'boys will be boys' and all that stuff and the school did what they could- but this is really eating at me. He wasnt HURT (one bruise), but he's nervous and said "switch school" and "fraid mean guy" This kills me!!

Answer 1

I have no advice

But i really admire you for raising a child who is 'special'

Answer 2

The school and the other children reacted quickly and appropriately.  The other student may come after your child again, or he may have learned his lesson.   You can request that your child not be allowed to go anywhere on school campus alone, with the theory that there is safety in numbers.  You may also be able to talk to the boy's parents, but the school will not be able to give you his personal information, so you will have to find it yourself.  If you do talk to the parents, (or if you can't find them ask the school to pass on the message) that if he messes with your son again you will pursue legal action against the child.  

You may also need to do some training with your son about how to respond to bullies, since he will face bullies at every stage of his school career.  Martial arts classes as well as role play and social skills groups can help with this.  

There is an organization, CARD (Center for Autism and Related Disorders), that runs social skills groups for children and adults with autism.  Look for a group near you.  All services are provided free of charge and they may be able to help your son.  

One last unrelated question - why does your son have a special ed teacher if his special needs are undiagnosed?  In our state students need a special ed diagnosis if they recieve services from a special needs teacher.  Having him diagnosed may also help you receive additional services, which may be very beneficial, as he gets older.  These can include speech and language therapy, communication devices, and transition services, among others.

Good luck!

Answer 3

If possible, get in touch with the older boy's parents.  If that's not possible, ask one of the teachers to pass on a message for you.  Inform them that if this happens again, you will press charges for assault.  Make sure they know that your child has disabilities and you will NOT accept someone bullying him.    If it happens again, follow through with your promise.

Answer 4

This happens alot at my sisters school. She is targeted so easily because she is in a special needs program. What you need to do is go to the school and say what is on your mind. You can have an aid walk with your son during classes. If he doesn't want that, you can easily have this boy that pushed your son into a locker be separated from your son. It can happen. Usually, when somone is confronted, like this they sometimes stop. Good Luck!

Answer 5

There is no easy answer to this one.  Bullying is frightening to any child  and can have long lasting effects. Every child will deal with it in different ways, you need to make sure that your son is protected and deals with it in a healthy way.

If this was an isolated, one time incident, then the best thing might be to have a school or other counselor talk to your son and help him deal with his anxiety over the incident.  

Talk to your son, reassure him, and find out if there have been other incidents involving this boy or others.  If there have, there are many steps you can take.  Depending on what state you live in, there may also be laws against bullying that can help you.

Check out this website for more information about bullying and how to deal with it http://www.bullypolice.org/.  

Either way, I wish you the best.

Answer 6

You are definitely not blowing this out of proportion. You are right in thinking that the school needs to address the underlying issue of the problem (your special needs son being targeted) rather than the issue of a ninth grader simply misbehaving. You need to talk to the school about this underlying issue; and explain that you are worried for your son's safety--because he is special needs--and ask them to do something about the fact that some students seem prejudiced against your son. Say that you are worried this attack may not be the first. Ask if the school could do something such as hold an assembly to teach the students not to discriminate/pick on people who are different in some way than themselves. If the school does not take action, then you may need to find another school for your son. You say that he is undiagnosed--why not get him diagnosed to find out exactly what's going on; and then perhaps ask for assistance in finding him a school primarily for special needs children. You may find this is the best thing for him.

Answer 7

i think u need to counsel him. the school has taken an action which will deter other students from bullying. so u have to prepare thechild.

Answer 8

I would contact the teacher and tell her what your son said to you.  Tell her that you do not want him in the hallways without an adult with him.  Period.  The kid will be in another school next year so you only have a few weeks to go.   Reassure your son with what is going on - including that he won't be there on Monday.

Answer 9

Please make a request to the school that all the teachers are aware of the situation, not just your child's teachers.  Extra eyes in the hallway will help, especially when the kids are changing classes.

I would ask the principal for a conference.  Even though the school seems to have reacted proactively, you may want to go in and discuss your son's feeling.  This is a real fear he has and it isn't right that any child have to be scared to go to school.   I would also ask the principal about contacting the other child's parents and having a group meeting.  Be prepared for the parents of the other boy not to be as open to talking with you though.  

At home this weekend, talk with your son about all the good things that happen at school.  Talk about his friends or a teacher that he may have a connection with.  Focus on a favorite subject, an activity that is coming up next week, or the excitement of summer vacation.  Try to get the focus back on the good things about school and maybe this can help sooth some of his fears.  

Is there a way you can spend a couple hours next week volunteering at the school? Your son would know you were there  and just knowing that you were in the building, could go a long way with him.

Answer 10

NO . you should not change fo such a trifle.ignore it.school did whtever they could. better go to school and meet the elder boy and ask him why he did so.if unintentional then pardon him  and if intentional then why -baisc thing is it should not be REPEATED.