I need advise on how 2 have THE BIRDS & THE BEES conversation w/ my 7 yr old daughter?

Question

My 7 yr old daughter asked me the other day how babies are made and I did not know what to say, so I just told her you have to be married and that I would tell her more when I have the right words. I would really appreciate any help you can provide. Thank you!

Answer 1

just tell her that parents have to pray to have a baby! don't fill her mind with this kind of stuff at such a young age! that is just asking for trouble!

Answer 2

I am a CMA

She is too young to hear the total truth if you just tell her something like there is a seed planted in mommies tummy she will more than likely drop the subject,,,, Keep it age appropriate

Answer 3

You mine as well tell her the truth because if you don't she is going to hear it from someone at school! (or there verison of it)

My daughter (she was 8 at the time) came home from school and asked me the same question! I explained in general that it is something that happens after marriage, and i tried to leave it at that.

Then she comes back with "mom thats not what my friend said"....

I got a huge lump in my throat, was sick to my stomach when she continued to explain what this girl told her. I was horrified! This little 8 year old girl told my daughter and other girls at school (in the 3rd grade) all about s*x and what happends step by step!!! I wasn't suprised when i went to the school the next day with my daughter and seen 4 other parents with there daughters standing outside the classroom. We all talked with the teacher explaining how we felt, and wanted something to be done about this. Within a couple of days we recieved a letter saying that they had a meeting with the parents of this girl. And we were pretty much told that nothing was going to happen, because the girl didn't lie, and her parents had the birds and bee's talk with her....We felt terrible, i felt that it was MY place to have that talk with my daughter. It is very sad but true....Some parents make bad decisions, and do not realise what impact it has, espescially on other kids. My daughter was NOT ready to hear that!

Atleast not in that manner. I guess my advice to you is if they come and ask a question be honest with them, because if they are asking something triggerd the question....Good luck!

Answer 4

I recently told my 9 year old the truth. She knows they are called a p***s and a v****a (though she still laughs at that) and I explained exactly how it works. She was a bit bewildered and then said "I really wished you hadn't told me that" and we both laughed. She was hearing things at school and I wanted her to know the truth. She had also been asking "how can I be a part of dad if I grew inside of you" and I feel it deserved an honest answer.

My husband is an avid fisherman so they have seen fish spawn on fishing shows and I kind of went from there but explained how a man and woman reproduce but used the man has to fertilize the egg for a starting point.

Answer 5

so you just lied to your daughter about one of the most important topics you'll ever discuss with her.  First, you need to tell her that what you said before was incorrect.  Ask her what she thinks she knows and then fill her in on the rest.  Tell her that people love each other (but not that you have to be married).  You have to be as honest and frank as possible, but only give the information she's ready to hear at this age.  Go to the library and ask for anatomically correct books to help because you'll need it for the show and tell portion.  The biggest help I can give you is to be HONEST!

Answer 6

I learned at that age!  People shouldn't keep lying to their kids making s*x seem dirty.  Its a private thing but its still natural and not dirty in any way!

Answer 7

You may want your daughter to believe you should be married before you have babies. That's perfectly acceptable at her young age. However, by the time she's able to reproduce, she needs to know that marriage certificates have nothing to do with actually making babies. Now probably isn't the time, but the time will come when she needs to know the difference between biology and your moral code.

Basically, you tell them as little of the truth as you can get away with whilst making sure they know enough to keep safe. You could tell her that mummies and daddies both make seeds in their bodies, and when they mix the seeds together it makes a baby. Hopefully she'll be satisfied with that and won't ask how :)

I don't think it's accurate for you to say she won't know what love is until she gets married. There's many types and levels of love and they are all valid feelings. Of course some of those feelings shouldn't be acted apon! Unfortunately people have a nasty habit of marrying inappropriate people.

Answer 8

Honestly and to make it less awkward I would be very scientific and use books, they make many illustrated books which show babies growing inside mommies etc geared toward younger children I think those are helpful and will help answer her questions. I think it's great you are telling her, there's no reason not to be honest. Go to the children's section and talk to a librarian they are a great resource :-) good luck

Also, to those who say they can't understand it, they can, that's why they're asking, they deserve an honest answer. Children are smarter than you think, and it's better to tell them yourself with the honest facts then to have them find out on the playground.

Answer 9

There a plenty of children's books that discuss the topic of babies. Try the Usborne books, they are usually pretty good.  

Answer 10

i know what you are going through, my 8 year old asked me already too and about her period. i did what you did, just say you are older and you get married and have a baby. you dont need to get into detail at such a young age. they wont understand anyway.  

Answer 11

My parents read to us a book called "Where Did I Come From" it's geared for this age of a child and although a bit humerous to read as an adult it really answered our questions without TOO much detail.

Answer 12

You should just be honest with her. There's no need to go into all of the details, but just break it down. Like the others said, get a good book with pictures and go from there. Believe me, you want to be the one to tell her and not little Susie that sits next to her in class. I have had 4 year olds explain it to me, so some people think its never too young. The more honest you are, the less likely that she will run to school and spill everything to the other kids and have their parents in an uproar. I'm not saying you shouldn't tell her to wait until she gets married. I am saying that YOU should be the one to tell her. Don't think that just because she is 7 and hasn't been told anything, that her other 7 year old friends don't know anything. I bet a lot of them already know and THEY will tell her.