I need an explanation from a dad.?

Question

My dad has always been a really controlling person, and ever since i was really little, i learned to submit to him. He could litterally snap, or point at me, and i would be quiet and sit down. Well i will be 18 in 3 months, and i am a senior in high school. I work, and pay for most things on my own. I have always the most responsible of their 5 children, and most the time, he doesnt worry about me. All of a sudden he has become extremely controlling again and treating me like my 13 year old sister. He takes the cell phone that i pay for every night at 9:30, and tells me i need to go to sleep by 9:40. He has also regularly been checking my room to make sure it is super clean, other wise he threatens me with discipline. He wont even allow me to go visit my mother and brother and sister in washington over our thanksgiving break. I dont understand why he is acting like this all of a sudden, and even goes so far as to come to work to lecture me in front of my coworkers. Im not leaving to go to college, im staying home for two years to go to a jc, so he shouldnt be freaking out.

Can i please have some insight into what he is going through, and is there anyway i can fix this? thanks for your help.

Answer 1

The best person to ask is your dad.  Maybe he doesn't realize his behavior has changed.  It's possible, especially if you're the oldest, that he's afraid of losing you.  You're going to go to a local school, but you could conceivably leave the nest any time after you graduate from high school.

Sadly, checking your room and taking your phone (even though you pay for it) are well within his rights as Dad.  The Thanksgiving thing sucks, though.  I think you should talk to him soon so maybe you'll have a chance to change his mind about the trip.

Answer 2

He is acting like that because you will be 18 and then he won't have the same control over you.  He is afraid of losing you.  Maybe you should think about going to JC in your mothers state and move in with her.

Answer 3

Youd Dad is realizing you are growing up and even though you pay for those things yourself you still live in "his" house.  That will come up eventually.  Just don't worry about it.  Just do what he says for the time being and he will stop.