I need basic information about giving my baby up for adoption.

Question

(Well, I don't know how basic these are..)

So, I'm 16, I live in Iowa, and I'm almost 5 months pregnant. I'm really considering giving my baby up for adoption. I want an open adoption. I know my state doesn't recognize open adoptions, but I'm hoping to form a relationship with the family anyway. My boyfriend is completely against the idea and says I'm abandoning the baby if I give it up for adoption. I just don't believe we are ready to be parents.

How do I find a good adoption agency?

Does it cost anything at all during the process of giving by baby up for adoption?

Do I get any money for giving my baby up for adoption?

If anyone (especially around my age) has gone through with adoption I'd love to hear your story and how you are handling it. It would really help.

Is it really going to be harder to give it up if I see it and hold it once it's born? It's already hard now.

Please help.

Answer 1

sweetie there is nothing wrong with giving your child to a loving couple or a single parent that can provide all the care that your child will need to become a sucessful person in life. My husband and I have been trying to have children for 15 years with 3 losses. We are wanting to adopt a child and have a relationship with both birth parents if they would like with no pressure if they do not want to have a relationship  with the child. I believe that my husband and I would make wonderful parents to your baby. Please contact me if you are interested @ [e-mail]  I will give you my number threw email. Thank you, Melissa

Answer 2

My name is Hayden, (with the help of my parents), I am writing this to ask if you would consider my family to be your intended family for this journey. I am 9 years old, (and am getting quite older now), and there is something missing, and that is a sibling for me to love and teach things to. Oh and for my mommy and stepdad to care, love unconditionally and bring up in a way that would make you proud. I just wish they could find someone that will understand the long hard journey they have been through so far to become parents again with broken hearts.No one is ever financially ready for a child, but to have LOVE its NEVER ENDING, so I PROMISE YOU THIS, my new sibling will be LOVED SO MUCH!!

If its a boy I will teach him how to play basketball and skateboard, since I like them the best out of all sports, and if its a girl I'm not afraid to play with barbies, do dress up, paint her nails and even do her hair. My dog Ravyn wants another playmate too. My mommy and stepdad really want another child to love, but daddy chris says, mommy's belly is broken. Please help our family grow and be abundantly blessed with another child, with your help!<br />
 

 

Answer 3

I know that all living expenses will be taken care of during the adoption process.  My husband and I have been wanting to adopt for awhile now and attorneys say that expenses and medical will be paid for.  My husband and I would love to adopt your baby.  And I hope to hear from you soon.
Amanda
[e-mail]

Answer 4

Hi there my name is AManda Potter. I am 29 and have adopted one child 6 years ago with my husband. we have been togehter for 11 years.We want to add one more miracle into our lives to love and cherish. I read you are expecting. We did a private direct placement adoption which is you can give us the baby once born and then we do the paper work in the meantime. we didn this with our son his mom chose us i met her thru a job i worked at with her and then we decided to adopt. I cannot have kids no matter how much my body says. i died 3 years ago for 2 min i bled out from a ruptured fibroid cyst luckily i was saved in  time. before all this i had endometriosis and my husband was fixed before i met him so our chance at conceiving was nil. if you are looking for a home please tell me more about you and where you live as we are in alberta canada in Drumheller where the world famous dinosaur museum is if you have heard of it. I currently stay home and do child care but will be taking my nursing diploma soon i hope. if you are looking for a home for your little one please consider us cause i can promise you they will have everything plus more than they need especially the love part. THanks for your time kindly. take care hope to hear back.we would love to adopt as long as you are in alberta or sask or somewhere close if you are in the states if your able to pay for plane ticket and have some documents done up giving us legal guardianship unitl the adoption is complete then we would have full gaurdianship there after.I was hoping maybe talking to a lawyer or adoption agent that if you wrote some legal documenent that got sworn by a commissioner of oaths if you would be able to send your baby to us and then we can automatically have full legal guardianship of the baby until we finalize the adoption then it would be just we have legal custody and guardianship of the child. we would be willing to keep it a open adoption that is why im interested in doing private direct placement adoption its easier when th child is already here in canada. we can send pics,videos anything you would want.Im adopted and i wish i had all that. let me knwo what you think. msg me [e-mail]
Amanda and Darren Potter

Answer 5

you can emial me [e-mail], we are looking to adopt

Answer 6

I would love to adopt a baby. I think it's alot easier if you did'nt go trough an agency it cost too much! if you want to talk you can write to me at [e-mail]

Answer 7

Please look at our website. My husband and I are trying to adopt a baby. We would love an open adoption (I believe that the more people that love a child...the better). We have information about ourselves as well as our contact information on our site. www.justinandrobynadoption.com.

Thanks,
Robyn

Answer 8

Hi, I can tell you are really struggling with a lot of questions at this time.  Not only are you dealing with being young and pregnant,but you are also having difficulties with your boyfriend and with making a decision on what to do once you have your baby.  That is a lot for one so young to have to face, on top of school and all the peer pressures you must be facing at this time.  You really have a lot going on!  I really feel for you.

Giving your baby up for adoption will not be an easy decision for you to make. You and the babies Father must agree on what to do.  You cannot give your baby up for adoption without the Father's consent.  He must sign off on the paperwork too.  The two of you need to take your time and really sit down and talk this through.  Look at the now and also take time to look ahead to your futures.  You may be together now, but what about in 5 years or 10 years from now?  If you keep the baby the two of you will always have your child as a connection. If you marry or if you do not marry.  If you each marry someone else you will always have a connection - your child.

My sister had a baby when she was young, actually 5 of my sisters did.  All of them decided to keep the baby.  However, they had the support of my family.  All of them lived at home at one time or another, having my parents support in ways of medical insurance, food, a place to stay.  My parents paid for clothes, diapers, formula, baby food, etc.  My Mom also provided babysitting so that my sisters could continue with school and work.  If you have a good support system it is possible for you to keep your baby.

Now to the future. . . One of my sisters fought constantly with her boyfriend. He threatened to take the baby, he treated her terrible for quite a while.  Then he disappeared from the picture.  Now my sister is married to a wonderful man and has another child with him.  The babies Father is remarried too and has nothing to do with her or their child.  3 of my other sisters married the boyfriend who was the Father of their child.  They all have more children now.  They also all 3 have terrible marriages and are not happy with their husbands.  My 5Th sister had her baby last June. She is 19. She kept her baby. She lives at home, her boyfriend has no job, makes no money, and pays nothing for the baby.  My parents pay for diapers, food etc. My sister did just get a job.  She works hard and is trying to make it but tends to give most of her money to the babies Father because he feels for some reason he is entitled to it.  They plan on getting married someday.

So, I recommend you really, really take time to think this through. Is the babies Father a go-getter?  Is he willing to work? Do you have a good relationship or tend to fight a lot?  What did you want to do after school? What are your plans for the future?  Do you have a good support system in your family and/or his?  There is a lot to think about!

Giving up your baby will be very hard to do.  I think if you decide to do so, for your own sake take some time to hold your baby and yes, look at him or her.  If you do not you will regret it for the rest of your life.  When you give your baby away, you will cry.  You will think about him/her and you will wonder if you are doing the right thing.  Just remember all the reasons why you decided that this was the best decision to make and stick with it.

Giving your baby up, knowing you are not able to give him/her the life you wish at this time, is the most loving giving thing you could ever do.  You did not abort your baby (congratulations) now you must think about what is best for your baby.  If you make the decision to give your baby up and once you pick the family, you will have peace.  You will look back and see that your child is happy, that he/she has a good life, is being loved and you will see you made the right choice.

With an open adoption you can receive pictures, updates and even visit with your child.  You have a lot of options, and there are a lot of couples out there looking to adopt a baby.

My husband and I have actually been looking into adoption.  We have come across some really nice agencies that I could recommend to you if you so wish. Our e-mail address is [e-mail].  I would be happy to talk with you more, give you some names of agencies or even tell you more about our family if you so wish.  I would also be happy to just be here to answer questions and offer encouragement if that is what you need, in whatever decision you make.

I think you are really smart to take your time and look at all options available to you.  Do not rush your decision.  Make sure it is the right one for you, not for your family or friends.  I know you will make the right decision.  You seem like you are really thinking this though and I give you lots of credit for that.  Remember, if you have a good support system, and just feel deep down you could not give your baby up, the please keep it. It is a life-time decision.  I know, personally, I would not be able to give my baby away if I were in your shoes.  Yet, I know nothing about you or your family life or your situation.  Again you must do what is best for your baby.

I will be praying for you in this very difficult decision process. Hang in there, you can do it! God Bless you.
Love,
Pam

Answer 9

I was given up for adoption when I was an infant. It was the most loving and unselfish thing my mother could have ever done for me. I was given such a gift and my life was forever changed. I was able to get a college education and be very successful. My family who adopted me were able to provide me with everything my mother wasn't able to because she was young. The most important thing in adoption is finding a couple who has a strong family, financially secure to offer your child and education and everything else they will ever need, and a house that has love beyond words to give!!!




I always knew I was adopted and every day I am so thankful and feel so blessed for the life she allowed me to have. I can only say that it is a hard thing to do, but I am proof that pure love of a birthmother can open doors for the future for their child.




My husband and I are now in the process of wanting to adopt. We have an amazing life and I want to give back, what was given to me. If I can help you in any way please let me know. I wish you the very best and if you ever want to talk you can contact me at [e-mail]