I need creative discipline ideas that work for my 4-year-old?

Question

My son is WILD. He is loving and sweet sometimes, but other times - 75% of the time - he is like a little tazmanian devil. He purposely finds out what he is not supposed to do and then does it with a smile on his face. Time out does not work. Taking a nap works, but he has to be super tired or else he wont stay in the bed. Taking away toys does not work. Witholding treats does not work. Praising the c**p out of him when he is good is not working. He also purposely hurts our animals. He also steals from stores and church and family friends.

????????????????

Do I need to put him on medications, take him to counseling, or what? Its like a cry for attention but I am a SAHM, and I spend all day with him. I am seriously starting to lose my mind.

HELP!

Answer 1

Maybe ask him why he does the things he does. If he's 4, then he should be able to communicate with you as to why he does the things he does, and then talk to him about why you don't want him to do those things. And then try reverse psychology. Of course you can get him tested for ADHD. that could be a cause of it. but until you set up the doctors appointment and get the results, just try talking to him. that's what couseling would do anyway. Good luck!

Answer 2

I think you should spank his hiney and tell him his behavior is horrible and put him in his room until he learns that he can not run around doing that stuff if he steals take him back and make the cashier get onto him that ought to scare him.

Answer 3

I dont believe in medicating a child this young so I would say that is out of the question.  Does he have something that means the world to him?  A special toy?  TV time? dessert? a special park?  Find the one thing that means the world to him and when he misbehaves you take it away and make him earn it back with good behavior.  My daughter didnt mind time outs either, so I make her put her hands up on the wall above her head and hold them there.  If she takes them down, the time starts over.  For time amount I do one minute per year of age. It sounds a little crazy, but it works and its not like you are hurting them.

Answer 4

I think it would be a good idea to talk to his pediatrician.  Most four year olds exhibit many of these behaviors at least on occasion, but it sounds like your son's behavior is starting to concern you.  Try watching other kids in his age group at church, you may find that he's more normal than you think.  Or, alternatively, you might realize that he's really out of control.  Your pediatrician can be a great resource in helping you figure out whether his behavior is appropriate for his age group.

Some kids are just naturally willful. And some kids do suffer from disorders like ADHD and ODD.  The good news is, if your child should be suffering from such a disorder, four years old is early to catch it and there are so many therapies and medications.

My 10-year old stepson has ADHD and believe me he is a handful, but he's also an amazing kid.  He has this infuriating way of not giving up on ANYTHING.  And when I'm trying to get him to brush his teeth or take a shower or go to bed, I'm ready to pull my hair out.  But when I'm watching him build a fort in the back yard, or watching him play soccer against my 12-year old, it's pretty incredible.  He's more challenging than my older son, but the rewards seem sweeter, too.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Ask your medical doctor for a referral to a professional counselor who specializes in children.  If you can't afford it, you may be able to get an evaluation through the local school system.  This problem needs to be figured out and solved before he starts school.

Answer 6

Try this book: 1-2-3- Magic.  I know a lot of ADHD and normal kids who it made an enormous difference with.  He needs different reinforcements and a clear set of rules.  Seriously, I know a pediatrician and a child psychiatrist who both recommend it highly.  It worked on my two kids.

http://www.amazon.com/1-2-3-Magic-Effect...

Answer 7

I highly doubt he has ADD or ADHD. This sounds just like my 4year old sister, who I babysit often. We haven't found anything yet that works constantly with her, but I starred your question, and Ill come back to it and if I find anything that works, Ill let you know.

Good Luck.

Answer 8

I think that you will have better results if the punishment fits the action. For example, if he steals - have him bring back the item and appoligize. If he writes on the wall - have him clean it up (help him of course) Do you have pets? If he is mean to animals, maybe taking care of one would help him be more compassionate with them. At 4, he is able to get a scoop of kitty food and put it in a bowl.

I would try and hold off on the medication though. Many kids today are overmedicated.

One thing that worked with my older son when he was little, was tea time before bed. Sleepytime Tea (Celestial Seasonings) is perfectly safe for children (I checked with my doctor) About an hour before bed, we have tea and relax. I let him talk about anything he wants for about a half and hour while we sip tea. The tea helps calm him down and transition to bed time. Also, it gives him special one-on-one time with mom - which all kids crave. Part of his acting out might be simply trying to get your attention.

Answer 9

Mabey you should get him checked for ADHD

Answer 10

No you do not need  to put him on medication at the age of four.  Do not use napping as a punishment either.  Some of this bad behavior is normal, kids will test us to see what they can get away with.  Just set the rules, if the rules are broken you must be consistent with what type of discipline you will take and just keep at it.  No one said parenting would be easy but you can do this.  Good Luck!

Answer 11

hes a 4 year old, usually toddlers have a lot of energy. in my honest opinion, you should probably take him to meet some other kids or maybe enroll him in a sport where he uses up all his energy. stealing from church, friends, stores ect. sounds a little odd though. i would definitely not take that lightly, and probably discipline him through spanking or something else, they get the point through quickly. as far as rewarding him goes, i wouldn't reward him too much, or sooner or later he'll expect to get tons of attention, rewards, whatever just for doing the right thing.

Answer 12

*SIGH* I just posted a similar question. I am a nurse and not a big believer of conventiol treatments for ADD/ADHD. There is way too much research lately that disproves former methods and findings. My son was the EXACT same way from birth and on. He has calmed down alot as I imagine your son will with age, once he is able to control his emotions and be able to use logic and rational thinking. We literally took all the toys, games,T.V, everything out of my sons room for about 4 mos. He was allowed to color at the kitchen table, play a few games or with a few toys in the living room and that was it. When he acted up, it was quiet time and he had to lie down til he was calm. A treasure box worked wonders too. We went to Target and he picked out 10 or so cheap toys that he like and they went into a box. He was rewarded with a treasure from the box when he was good. He really liked it and he looked forward to being good to claim his prize.Another lifesaver was the V Smile pocket game system. It is like a Nintendo DS for pre schoolers. They learn all kinds of stuff and maybe it would keep your son busy. He must be smart to contantly need to be challenged. I have so much empathy for you. Read my most recent question!!!   I often feel like I am losing my mind sometimes, too but I TRY to remember how creative, funny, highly intelligent my son is. Sometimes it helps.