I need friendship advice :( ?

Question

*sigh* so for like the past week, my friends have been slamming me. Right to my face! I mean sometimes it's just as little as "Um I want Audrey to do my nails instead. You kinda suck at painting nails" And sometimes it's just huge! But big or small, it still hurts all the same. And it seems like *all* my friends are doing it! I'm tired of hanging around them when I'm just getting slammed, but they've been my bffs since 1st grade! Maybe they just think that I know how much they like me so if they point out my flaws it won't matter so much? I don't know. But what should I do?? Should I confront them and tell them to back off? or should I just wait and see if they stop? What do I do!! please help!!!!

Answer 1

The exact thing happened to me. My best friend was making fun of my weight. I talked to my parents and even my counselor about it. So, I finally told my friend I hated it when she said mean things about me. It didn't stop immediately, though. She was so used to saying mean things about me so it took some time for her to stop, but she eventually did. I realized that little thing was getting in the way of our friendship. So DEFIANTLY tell your friend it hurts you feelings but be firm. You don't want her to think you are kidding.

Answer 2

Tell them how you feel? And if they don't care then you deserve to find better friends. :)  

Answer 3

like ask them to please stop and if they dont they clearly arent ur friends and dont like you

Answer 4

First off, I'm sorry your friends are being jerks to you. My friends do it sometimes too. What you should probably do is talk to them about it and tell them they're bugging you because they probably don't notice how much it's affecting you. If they don't back off after that and keep treating you badly, maybe it's time to take A break from them and look for some friends that will treat you right.

Hope I helped. :]

Answer 5

thats sucks, i get how u feel. maybe they decided to gang up on you for some reason. even your bbf could be convinced to do this when theres peer pressure. you should go up to your bbf (talk to her alone) and ask whats the matter and why are they doing this to u...but say it nicely and if she stills slams you after you try to talk to her, then u have 3 options:

1) accept it, keep it all inside and try to be friends with them (not recommeded)

2) keep talking to her about it, get into fights and heartaches. hoping she will change (sometimes work)

3) leave her..i know its very hard but if its not gonna work then its not gonna work. u can maybe find another person that treats you the same way you treat her even though it might not seem like it right now. believe me u will

now...you choose

Answer 6

Talk to the one who you are closest to.  Let her talk to the others to let them know how you are feeling.  If you get one of them to sympathize with you and stick up for you then it will help persuade the others.  

But you should be sure to tell them that it does bother you (but do not let them know how much--like I said let only your BEST friend know that).  This way they will not take it so personal.  

Also, you should look to see if they slam each other before going though with this.  It may be that they do slam each other and you only notice it when they slam you.  But if that is not the case then do what I suggested.  

Answer 7

Have you done anything which would make all your friends act this way? 1 or 2 okay but all of them, you sure you telling us everything?

if not then confront them and find new friends

Answer 8

Since you've been friends so long, I bet they don't know how they are hurting you and feel comfortable to joke at/about you, poke fun, tease you.  Yes, you should say something, but only to your best friend of the group.  Let her/him know in a nice, cordial way that you don't really like being ragged on so hard, that it hurts a little.  Then, that best friend can tell the rest of the group to lay off a little -- w/out making you look bad or like a wuss. Which, Im' sure youre not.  No one would like being made fun of or belittled.  Try telling your b/f in confidence and see how it goes.

Answer 9

talk to them in a nice way. dont "confront"--it sounds like war. just explain your problem and they should understand,

Answer 10

First step back and see if you are being overly sensitive and interpreting what they are saying the wrong way.  If that isn't the case then let them know how you are feeling right now that when they say these things to you it hurts you.  Just be honest it's not the end of the world, talking these things out makes friendships stronger.

Answer 11

You should tell them that you feel hurt.  Maybe they don't even know that it offends you.  They won't stop if you don't tell them.  Good luck :D

Answer 12

Next time they do that just be like "What is your problem, why have you been on my case so much lately?"

Or if you want to be funny be like "Do you need a tampon, freaking period queen"

I hate when that happens too, usually the girl is just on their period.

Answer 13

you should just comfront them but not in a forceful way just ask them why they've been slamming you.  But just don't be mean with it

Answer 14

i was friends with this girl since pre-school, come jr. high, we were in different classes, and grew a bit apart, you know we still hung out a bit. but then she just started to talk about me all the time, i asked her why she was, and never got a really clear answer. but now i have new friends, and one of them found out that she said she was sick of me after all those years. But i didn't care. Then i was hanging out with a big group of people and she was there, we started talking and she said, you know i kinda miss being your best friend. and i'd bet if i said yeah i do too we would be best friends once again. but instead i said really? lol

CUTTING TO THE CHASE :p

after all those years they could be sick of you, not saying your boring or anything.

You should tell them that you feel hurt by what they are saying to you, and you really want them to stop and if they dont stop then, i think its time to get new friends, and as soon as your gone they will remember how good of freind you were.

well i hope everything turns out all right , im sure they dont know that there making you feel bad, so just talk to them and everything should be fine :D

Answer 15

First of all, ask them why they are acting this way.

Just say, "I noticed you've been pointing out all my flaws. Why?"

Or, "We've been friends for ____ years and starting just a few days ago you've been picking on me. Why?"

Try to confront them one at a time, so you're not overwhelmed, and your friends aren't influenced by others around them. And, most importantly, don't let them make you feel like it's your fault.

Tell them you've valued their friendship for so many years, but tell them you'll have to break it off if they continue to act this way.

No one should be treated the way you've been! I just wish you luck with this friendship problem, and hope it won't happen to you again. (:

Answer 16

Stick up for yourself! If you just let them trash-talk you, you'll teach them your a door-mat and they'll treat you as such, they will have no respect for you. You don't have to be a beast and throw a fit or anything, just tell them firmly to quit. Don't whine either. Just tell them to knock it off. If they ignore you, or make fun of you, maybe you need to find better friends, ones who respect you.

Answer 17

oh,I'm sorry this is going on honey.Girls can be catty sometimes.But its possible they don't realize these comments hurt your feelings.in private,you should tell them all one by one , what they say hurts your feelings and ask them if there is something else that is bothering them,if you offended them somehow,and if you did you didn't mean to.If it doesn't help weed them out. hang out with girls that are a positive uplifting influence in your life. you don't have to be confrontational and tell them I am not going to be your Friend,just stop being with them if they ask why just explain you didn't htink they appreciated your company  because they acted like they were mad at you.

Answer 18

well it sounds like to me theyre not really your friends if they slam you all the time. in my opinion they sound like brats.

they obviously like the feeling of satisfaction if they are slamming you repeatedly. if i were you i would just leave them alone. if they dont want you around why would you want to "stick around?" seriously though, think about it. go hangout with people who dont enjoy the feeling of pleasure by ganging up on someone esle. thats really messed up and stupid of them. they need to grow up and realize that the world doesnt revolve around them.

hope i helped.

Answer 19

eiather ask them if somthings wrong or start hangout with  neww ppl and maybe your other friends will relizehow much they miss you.

i know how that feels. but if they dont see how much they miss you at least you've found new friends that like you better!

Answer 20

That is a really unfortunate situation to be placed in. I had a "best" friend like that one time, and I resorted to avoiding her, and she never quite got the hint. But over time, I ignored her calls and so forth completely, and she excessively continued to contact me. Once she realized I was over the friendship, I believe she felt really bad.

Girls I've noticed dominate their passive friend(s), for reasons I'm not sure of, other than the accomplishment of being able to successfully manipulate others. Perhaps it makes them feel better about their own insecurities. Regardless, no one deserves that treatment. You should confront them and let them know you've had enough. Whether you walk away from the friendship is your choice.

Answer 21

tell them how u feel and if they still continue stop talking to them for a while.

Answer 22

you're both immature probably. don't take it to heart. If she's rude, then don't be around her. Plain and simple. She will stop being rude if she appreciates you.

If i were you I WOULD confront them, but be a big girl about it. Just ask them what their problem with you is.  If they can't tell you, because there is none, of they can't be mature long enough to do so,  then THEY are the problem.

Answer 23

That's one of those positions, where pretty much either way you are going to hurt them some how. Just confront them that you don't like being treated like your nothing. You are special, everyone is special in their own way and only some deserve to be treated that way. But not you. Confront them and if they are real friends, they Will understand.

Answer 24

I've had situations like that. Its very hard to deal with because they probably don't realize what they're doing. Which in a way is more hurtful. Waiting until they stop will really damage your self esteem and it will make them think you're a "doormat", that they could do anything to you.

The next time they make a comment like that say in a calm and nice tone how you feel. Tell them that although they probably don't see it as a mean comment you do, and to please stop. If they don't, tell them you need a little space because you're really hurt by their words. Don't get mad and yell or storm off, explain why you need your space and why you are hurt. Make sure not to do something that will make you stoop to their level.

If they come back and say sorry, accept it and move on. It shows they really care and everyone has lapses in judgment. If they don't stop, they don't deserve your friendship and move on. Eventually they'll see the error of their ways.

Answer 25

There comes a time when friendships move on. This sounds like that time. Make new friends who will appreciate you for who you are!

Answer 26

Hi Allie,

The next time one of them makes a snippy comment, smile and c**k your head to one side and say "Excuse me? Have I offended you in some way? Maybe it's my imagination but you've been pretty snippy with me lately". and wait to see what she says. She might not cop to anything, but she'll be less likely to keep zinging her verbal arrows at you in fear of being called out again.

Good luck!