I need help, Badly!?

Question

Hi Everyone, My name is Jenny and my bestfriend who we will keep with an unknown name it pregnant. Like 33days pregnant or something along that line. She cant tell her parents because her parents will disown her and she is currently in College. She wants to abort but I told her everything that comes along with it like pain ect.. She wants me to take her child and raise it up as my own. Do any of you have ideas of how? She doesn't NEED papers. She just wants me to have the baby and take care of it. She's really scared and doesnt know what to do and came to me. She cant go to any family at all because they are VERY religious. We both know her parents wont except it from experience. So if anyone can give advice or anything at all.. I'd GREATLY appreciate it! Thank you in advance

PS: She is very scared because she lives with her rents (She's in a wheelchair) so she is not currently able to move out and need to stay with her rents until she heals and able to get proper treatment & stuff.

Answer 1

frist of all from experence abortion is not the wasy to go it something that will never go away. second she is old enough to make her own mind up and as for you raisin gher kid do you have any? If not you have no idea whats invovled in rasing a kid. i not trying to be a b***h but there is alot of stuff to think about there. what happenes when the baby is here and she want you to go out with her and you can t because your raising her kid and what do your parents think about this good luck i will pray for both of you just rember babies don't ask to be brought here we bring them here.

Answer 2

What the HECK is a rent....??

She is in college and still can NOT talk to her parents...??

YES.. you will  need papers to adopt her baby..,  If you do what is she going to do for the next 9/10 months of her pregnancy..? Hide from her parents??

Answer 3

How is she going to keep it from them if she is currently living with them?  It is soon going to be pretty obvious that there is something going on in her mid section!  She is in a wheelchair and they are not blindfolded.....

Second of all....you do need paperwork.  You will need to talk to a social worker, you will need a lawyer....papers have to be drawn up....If you don't have papers, the baby is not protected and neither are you...and if she changed her mind after you had put time and love..... well, she would get him/her back if there were no papers...and the "oh, i wouldn't do that to you"...doesn't always hold true.  Especially after the baby is born and she is holding him/her in her arms...

Answer 4

ok we have a few problems here

1. she will begin to show soon and how will she hide it? if she is in a wheelchair she is going to need help, and the parents are there. i promise they will notice over time.

2. she needs to find a doctor. the risk she is taking for herself and the baby are pretty great. with proper care most things can be caught and treated, without she wont even know there is a problem until it is too late

3. she wants you to take the baby, again, if there is no prenatal treatment are you ready to take on the responsibility of a special needs child? the without proper care the risk of that are much greater

4. you need legal paperwork, like it or not. there is simply no way around this.

5. this thing called labor and delivery wont be easy to cover up. the pain involved is emmense. she will not be able to sit in her room and just wait for it to end. there is after care that is mandatory, especially if she tears and the amount of blood and other things is going to be pretty hard to cover up.

6. if she makes a trip to the hospital the insurance will be billed. the family gets a print out of the services rendered. im sure they will see a large bill like that. even if she gets to the mail first, eventually if it goes unpaid it will end up on their credit report. there is no way to hide that.

i can keep going but i think you get the point. the two of you are not thinking of all the things that are going to come from this. i hate to tell you but i dont see any way of hiding this.

she is living at home with her parents, she is in a wheelchair, honestly, she needs more help than you alone can offer.

you are a good friend, but step back for just a minute and really THINK. if something goes wrong with this pregnancy, pissing off her parents will be the least of her worries. she could end up fighting for her life.

good luck, i truly mean that. i hope everygthing turns out good for both of you.

Answer 5

If she lives with her parents, wont it be obvious that shes pregnant over time?  I think what your willing to do for her is great but aren't you scared that she won't really want to give you the baby?  I would suggest getting papers simply because if not she can't keep saying shes gonna take the baby back.  I understand her family is very religious but I think that they are gonna be aware of the fact that she is pregnant.  I think she may want to consider talking to a professional, they be better to assist you with this.  Best of luck!!!

Answer 6

I would advice her to let her family know, give them time and then take it from there. You can be her friend, if she is willing for you to adopt her baby you need a lawyer, no questions about it.

Answer 7

I know that it may seem impossible to tell her parents, but try them.  Even if you think they won't understand - she is still their daughter and they love her.  Part of their potential disapproval is her own perception and fear.  There are parents of all backgrounds - easy going, traditional, very religious who have g*y children, children that have abused drugs, children who have gotten pregnant and although their initial reaction may not be good as they may be shocked or angry (and they may not be angry at her but at themselves!) initially, but that IS their child and they may surprise you that their love for their daughter is bigger even if it takes a little while for them to blow off some steam. Also, they may be proud of the fact that their daughter is considering having the baby or maybe putting them up for adoption instead of the alternative.

As far as college - she can always drop out and continue a few years later.  

Also, it seems that she wants the abortion because she doesn't want consequences.  She has to face the music one way or the other.   Abortion doesn't create the situation where it will be "like it never happened."

Btw, I think her wanting you to raise the child is really more of a gesture of wanting you to "fix" the situation.  No offense to the love you could give a child, but right now its not about someone assessing you as the perfect parent and wanting you to have their child but its a matter of looking for a good friend to just "fix" things so she doesn't have to tell anyone.

Unless you have a stable home and were thinking about having a child, you should not consider this. And even so, you know that it will never be your child - it will be your friends child that you are raising for her as I don't get the impression she would leave the picture.  And therefore you would have a complicated story to tell him/her and she won't let you raise them the way you want.  How do you explain to a child that Auntie So and SO is there mom but didn't want them.

ANyway, my big question is - where is the father in all of this.  Esp. if he is a steady boyfriend.  He has absolutel right to know that she is pregnant.   If he loves her/is responsible he would want to stick by her no matter the outcome.  She has to tell him.

Answer 8

If she is going to have the baby how will she hide this from her parents even more that she lives with them.  

I’m afraid she can’t just give you her baby you have to go through the proper procedure even if she is just naming you the guardian. Where the heck are you planning to tell people you got a baby, that you found it in the dumpster?  What about prenatal care for her.  What happens if she goes into labor and her parents are around?

A lot of people are religious this will not be the first girl to have gotten knocked up and have strict religious  parents.Your friend should have thought of the consequences of having s*x. (unless she was raped)  Waited till her wedding night if she was so concerned of being disowned.