Okay, here's the thing: I've been feeling down for a long time. I've had thoughts about suicide, almost started cutting, self-injuring, and running away from home just to get rid of everything. I took a medical test and it told me that I'm depressed and I should go seek medical attention right away. But I can't because I'm 14 and I haven't told my parents or siblings that I think I am depressed. It's hard to tell them because I dyed my hair black and my family thinks I'm going emo and they'll think I'm just trying to get attention even though that's not true. It's even harder because my father's a cop and doesn't live with us anymore but in an apartment, and my mom comes home from work mad because of problems at work. I can never find time to tell them and we've had a suicide in my family which may worry them and freak out on me which I don't want to happen. The only person who knows that I may be depressed is my closest friend. I sent her some of my diary and she told me that she never would have expected this out of me because I'm always appearing off as a happy person even though on the inside I'm not. I can't find the right words to tell my parents because they may think this is "just a phase" which it isn't and has really been happening since the fourth grade when my dad moved out. I've done the research on depression and I believe that I am depressed. We also wouldn't be able to afford a doctor to my believing and I don't know how to tell them because of lack of privacy in the house. My parents are always in the living room and my two older siblings are in the room over where there is like an archway so you can hear everything that goes on in the living room. I just don't know how to tell them but I do know I need help. Please, I'm desperate to feel better and I don't know how to tell anyone except that one friend who I swore not to tell anyone else.
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