I need help, please. Somebody show that you care.?

Question

I know this is going to seem like want attention, but honestly I want some support, advice, and sympathy.

I can't live the way I am anymore. I've been comtemplating suicide or running away. I don't want to kill myself, but sometimes it seems like the only way out. My parents are divorced and have been for as long as I can remember and they don't want me. My mom keeps me for all the child support money and because it put her through college basically for free. I have a ton of materialistic things, but unlike what my parents think they don't make up for family and being loved. I wish I could stop cutting, but its the only way for me to stop crying at night so I can go to bed. It takes all the emotional pain away. I think my mom knows I cut, but she doesn't care. She always looks at my leg and tells me I'm a really bad shaver because I have slash marks all over my ankle. And I told her that the big mark on my arm was from our cat and we don't even have a cat. Why doesn't she care that I'm hurting myself. We fight everyday though, everytime I eat she tells me I don't need that and that I'm gonna be 300 pounds when I get older. She's the cause of my bulimia and it sucks, but I do it to please her. I'm not fat though, but she seems to think so. Ughhh, I just wish I had people who loved me and cared about me.

Answer 1

Sounds like a tough lesson to learn. Suicide is never the answer. You do not know whats waiting for you on the other side. Running away will really make life worse for you. It does sound like you mom is very self involved. The trick is how to be better than that, learning how to let what she says go in one ear and out the other. Let it slide of your back like water does to a ducks back. It takes lots of practice. I am now 39 yo and just mastering the skill. I came to the conclusion that I had control over how I reacted to the bullshit. Its like they say I am rubber you are glue and whatever bounces off me sticks to you. Let her words go. YOU KNOW WHAT IS TO BE THE TRUTH ABOUT YOU NOT HER! Only you can see whats really inside of you. DO NOT LET WORDS BRING YOU DOWN. You have that power. STOP the self mutilation, trust me I know physical pain over rides emotional pain. I know how good it feels when you need a release. You have to find another way. PLEASE PLEASE talk to your school counselor. Some adult that you can trust. Bulimia too. Is your moms words, her feelings, her being a S****y parent, what she thinks to be the truth is that really worth your life? Your are far more worth than her unwanted, hurtful, judgemental vomit that spues out of her mouth. Do what you can do to stay away from her. If she doesn't have anything nice to say then don't let her say them at all. Walk away ...listen to uplifting music on the Ipod ...write for support here. I'll keep you in my thoughts and hope in some way I might have helped.

Answer 2

I am so sorry that you are in so much pain, both physically and emotionally.  Life won't always be like this.  There are wonderful things coming just a few years down the road.  But for now, you need to talk to a counselor, a professional who works with girls in your situation everyday.  You absolutely are not alone.  They can help you talk to other girls who have gone through the same trying times.  Sometimes we have to give ourselves the love that we don't get from our parents.  You are a feeling, sensitive human being.  You can use those qualities to help other people who are hurting, too.  But you need to heal first, inside and out. Please talk to a counselor at school first.  They can help you.  I wish I could take away your pain.  Even though I can't, these professionals can.  Please ask them for help.  No one will know unless you tell them what you need.  God bless.

Answer 3

I'm answering because I care.  You obviously care about yourself and have things you want to live for, and I strongly encourage you to keep caring.

I could type paragraphs of encouragement, but in your situation I think the best thing to do is put you in touch with trained professionals who care and can help you more than most strangers here.

http://www.befrienders.org/

There's a lot of contacts and resources there to put you in touch with professionals, confidentially, and oftentimes for free.  You are a good person, and you deserve a happy life.  Congratulations on being strong enough to know what effects you, what problems you have, and what you want to change in your life.  Translate that knowledge into passion for making your life better and filling it with people who want the same!

Answer 4

I fully understand, Parents can be a tough thing to get through because they are put on a high pedestal for us as kids growing up. The best advise I can give is to remember that people (especially parents) only have the power over your emotions that you allow them to have. So don't give her the power to mess with your head, just know that she is just another person no better then anyone else. I hope that helps, it worked for me when I had a step mother that treated me like c**p as a young kid.

Answer 5

I am so sorry that you are going through all that you are.. I hope you have tried talking to someone whether it be one of your parents or anyone else you trust. Here is a site with help for teen cutters http://www.teencutter.com/ they have a 800 number that you can call for help. Also here is a link for  Bulimia http://www.helpguide.org/mental/bulimia_...  

I hope this helps and maybe they will help you connect with others with the same problems.

Always know no matter how bad you feel there is always someone who cares.

You need to talk to someone. I wish there was more i could do to help.

Answer 6

I'm sorry your in so much pain. Your mother loves you I'm sure...she probably just doesn't know how to handle the situation, so she opts to ignore it. You need to seek help from a competent adult. Is their anyone in your life who you trust? An aunt, uncle, school counselor? You should talk to them. Maybe you should leave your mother if she can't take care of you. As far as your dad...he may care, but being a male he doesn't know how to relate to you. Talking to someone will feel uncomfortable at first, but it will help you. I wish you the best. Believe me everyone has problems, but it's how you handle yourself through the problems that make a difference. We can't control other people. We can only control ourselves.

Answer 7

Hi.  I hear your pain and upsetment.  I assume you are in school and therefore I beg you to talk with your school counselor.  She can help you with many of these issues.  

It sounds like your mother is very selfish.  You can not change her.  You can only change yourself and rise above her selfishness.  You sound bright from your writing.  Truth is, your mother probably does care about you, but she is too selfish and involved with herself that she does not now how to support you.

Please, talk to your school counselor.  She will help you.

Answer 8

well you have a friend hear if you need. mail me anytime. hang in there. you came to the right place. others who feel or know how you feel.

Answer 9

I hear what you are saying!but please do me a favour & stop cutting, you are mad at your Mum not yourself so please don't hurt yourself.You have a wonderful future ahead of you,& you sound as though you can make a wonderous,positive life for yourself.Your Mum sounds like she maybe to wrapped up in her life to realise what you have been doing to yourself,so maybe you should just hold your head high,smile & ignore her nasty comments(though I know they hurt).

Go to the befriends site that was recommended from the first response you will find it a great help.If you ever want anyone to talk to I am only an email away.