I need help. I am at my wits end.?

Question

I feel so stressed out. I'm off of my meds because my stomach is acting up. I've been tossing my cookies daily. While giving myself my monthly breast exam, I found something odd. It seems like I am in a never ending panic attack, and wouldn't you know that my shrink is out of town. As well as my doctor. I am crying even as I type this.My sister is driving everyone mad. It seems that I am everyone's crutch, holding them up. I need help from them, but don't know how to ask. I don't think I can take much more c**p.

Answer 1

There are some good answers here already, but let me start with a big (((HUG))) - sometimes you just need lots of those, and it sounds like it's one of those times.

STOP THINKING.  Your mind is in a whirlwind, and you're getting dizzier with each spin.  You're getting exhausted and overwhelmed.

Do whatever you need to do to distract yourself from thinking so you can unwind and relax.

Answering questions helps me take my mind off myself, so this site actually helps me unwind.  Reading a good book is another option - preferably fiction or something you enjoy...I like cookbooks and mysteries...maybe something inspirational or spiritual, but nothing too heavy there...you need escape, not heavy thinking.  Music might help, but be cautious there or you might find yourself wailing into your pillow even more.  Silence might be better if you can't find something peaceful or upbeat.

Brew yourself a relaxing cup of tea, or take a nice long bubble bath by candlelight.  Lather some lotion from head to toe...chocolate might help too, just don't overdo it.  You're going for total and complete self-indulgence.  Do what feels good and relaxing for YOU.  

And as for asking for help...I understand how you feel all too well.  I am so damnably independent, and I have a horrible time asking for help. I will share something that helped me, and hopefully, if you never considered it from this way, it will help you, too.

Think about how you feel when you are able to lend a hand...usually it makes you feel better and gives your spirits a lift.  How arrogant is it to assume that you can help, but cannot ask for help?

By refusing to acknowledge that you have needs or want help, you are denying those who care about you the opportunity to demonstrate it.  Why should they not get a chance to feel helpful for a change?

An unwillingness to ask for help usually stems from either the inability to admit need, or a fear of showing any weakness.

Guess what?  You're human, and everybody else around you already knows that.

Give them the chance.  You might be very surprised.  I know it's not easy...people who don't have trouble asking really can't understand just how hard it can be.  Try to keep it simple.  If you can't really bring yourself to talk or express things right away, just call and ask someone if they can talk to you- tell them you need to hear a cheerful voice or some funny stories...they will probably pick up right away that you need some advice, a listening ear, or some help because they will know you are not your usual self...

If there's no one that you feel like you can call right now, call a hotline...there will be one for depression or panic or something of the sort if you do a search...the people there are there because they want to help others....and you will probably feel much better if you're able to just talk to someone who can help you sort out the chaos and help put it back in perspective...

Best of luck and do try to get some rest...when you are exhausted, everything is amplified.

Answer 2

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time.

It seems to me you KNOW what you need -- to ask the family for their help and support.  Just do it... Let them know how you're feeling.  

I sure hope you will.  

Answer 3

call another doctor or shrink...get something checked out and get SOME SLEEP!

Answer 4

(((Hugs)) first of all, okay?  

I wish I knew what to tell you, it is hard and kind of inpersonal trying to answer someone over the net.  You are obviously going through a lot right now.  The best thing you can do for yourself right now, I think, is to pour yourself a nice warm bath and have a good long soak.  

Light some candles, and just get as relaxed and as quiet as you possibly can.   I used to suffer from terrible panic attacks myself, so I do understand what you are going through.

Do something nice for yourself right now, and hope you will feel a lot better tomorrow.

Please take care...

Answer 5

You said "I need help from them, but don't know how to ask." I know where you're coming from, life is hard darling, but you know your life and how you feel about things more than any of us strangers do. You acknowledged that you need help from them ,don't consult us strangers. do what is uncomfortable this one time

Answer 6

Here's some helpful nondrug suggestions from tipsforsuccess.org:

12 Ways to Lighten Up

Approaching your life with a non-serious attitude gives you a clearheaded view of difficulties and the energy to deal with them. Problems are easier to solve, people are more cooperative and you feel more relaxed. You probably live longer and more successfully, as well.

Try these ideas until you find one that lightens you up.

1. Deliberately turn a molehill into a mountain. Make a big deal out of a little problem. "I would feel much better if these papers were stacked exactly like this! Not like that! Like this! Not this! This!"

2. Ask yourself, "Is getting serious about this situation really going to improve it?"

3. Focusing on the positives. "What is right about this situation?" "What else is right?" "What else?"

4. Consider a complete, major change. For example, go back to school, move to the ocean, start a new career.

5. Ask yourself, "When I’m on my deathbed, will I be glad I was so serious about _______?"

6. A challenging game is much better than no game at all. So consider losing all aspects of the problem. Examples: You feel serious about family problems. You ask yourself, "Well, what if I had no family at all?" You feel serious about your investments. You ask yourself, "What if I had no money to invest?"

7. The size of your problem may match the size of your game. So get a bigger game. For example, if you get uptight about paper clips being in the wrong drawer, your game size is tiny. Double your amount of responsibility. Set some huge goals. Succeed by thinking much, much bigger.

8. Stop trying to solve the problem that is making you so serious. Certain types of problems solve themselves if you leave them alone. Your problem may be one of those.

9. Compare what you are doing to other careers. Imagine being a septic tank drainer or a tax collector.

10. Make everyone around you lighten up.

11. Look at bizarre solutions. What is the craziest way you could solve your problem? What solution, if it worked, would make you laugh out loud?

12. Act stupid for a minute. Let down your hair. Stop being so darn important for a while. Be a goof!

Answer 7

Sorry to hear, surf the net, your favourite websites and listen to your favourite songs? (I hate it when my shrink is on holiday).

Answer 8

You are such a nice lady and you helped me before with kind words.  (under a different name...)

Please take a deep breath and sort out what needs to be taken care of.   You need to be able to ask your family for help, and stop being the crutch when it is you who needs help.

Go have the lump examined, or whatever it is that is odd.  I had a "something odd" lump in my breast one time and it turned out to be nothing more than a little clump of blood from a bruise from when my dog jumped on me.  

It could easily be nothing, and the sooner you find out for sure, the easier you will sleep.  You need a radiologist at least as much as you need a shrink right now.

In the meantime, gather up your courage and, even if you are crying when you say it, tell your sister and your family and whoever else you have that you need them to hold you up right now.

It seems to me it is way past your turn!!!

Email me if you want to.

It will be OK, I promise.

Lady Morgana

Answer 9

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tiOMu_Bf...