I need help PLZ fast?

Question

Sorry this is going to be long, I been married a little over 2 yrs, Im spanish and my hubby is american. When we were dating we only saw each other on the weekends because we work different shift, we used to have s*x ones a week, he used to tell me is because we dont see each other, but everything will change after we get marry. We got marry and still the same, ones a week or sometimes we go 2 weeks without having intercourse, this is really been bothering me I know everything isnt about s*x, but i know some marry people enjoy making love or having s*x, with my husband i never really feel that we are making love it feel just like we are having s*x. I know is probably my fault because i knew how he was but i thought after we get marry everything will change, something else he always said is that at his age s*x drive isnt as much as mine ( he is 32 and 24) i know that isnt true either. I know he isnt cheating because its been always like this. We kind of not talking to each other at the moment because i brought all this situation up to him and he told me that he doesnt know why he is like that and that he likes to be alone most of the time, I asked him if we still love me and he told me of course but that just the way I am. I love him so much but i dont feel 100% happy with this relationship. I dont think anything will change. Should i get divorced? we dont have any kids THANK GOD PLZ any advices? dont be rude because i already feel like c**p. Thank you all in advance

Answer 1

OK FIRST ITS NOT THE AGE CAUSE WHEN U HIT IN UR 30'S IT GETS BETTER IAM 32 SO I CAN TELL U THAT BEEN MARRIED 9 YEARS U GUYS HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO SPICE IT UP THATS IT HOPEFUL THATS ALL THATS GOING ON MARRIAGE DOESNT CHANGE ANYTHING U HAVE TO WORK ON IT TALK LET HIM KNOW HOW U FEEL THATS FOR SURE AND GIVE HIM A LAP DANCE LOL TALK **** THEN MAKE LOVE CAUSE THATS WHEN ITS REALLY GOOD HOPE EVERY THING WORK OUT FOR U

Answer 2

Honestly it's up to you.  If you're not happy that's something you have to deal with.  Maybe it'll change maybe it won't.  Try and open that line of communication.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Consider this a lesson learned. You can not change other people. Either like them and accept them as-is, or move on.

If s*x is that important to you, get a divorce and find someone who shares your drive. If you are otherwise happy, maybe you need to reconsider your priorities. Would you rather have great s*x 5 times a week or be with someone who loves you and whom you can trust?

Look at your marriage in the big picture. Think about all of the things you like about the relationship and all the things you don't. (Know that no relationship is perfect.) And then weigh the good against the bad and make your decision.

If you are unhappy, you owe it to him to allow him to be with someone who wants to be there.

.

Answer 4

A man's s*x drive DOES drop down after about the age of 25.  But it usually doesn't get seriously low until about the age of 40 -- if then.

Your husband FIRST needs a complete physical. During that physical the doctor needs to check for Diabetes AND for Low Testosterone  Your husband (or you) will have to ASK for that, because most doctor don't do it unless that have other reasons.

As you probably know, testosterone is what determines a man's "s*x drive".  If that reading is low, then he won't want to "do it" as often. If it is low, the doctor will need to investigate WHY.

Diabetes is very very common disease, and it WILL cause low s*x drive too.  First diabetes also affects testosterone. Second, diabetes makes you tied and you just don't want to. Third, diabetes can also affect your mental attitude about life in general.

Remember, YOU may have to ask these question.  YOU should go to the doctor WITH your husband, and you should be very open about discussing your side of the problems ("I want it more than he does...") Sexual problem like this are VERY common, yet most patients are too "shy" to talk about them -- especially men.

There is also the possibility of chronic depression -- another problem you should talk to the doctor about.  But he will first want to take the physical, and necessary blood tests for testosterone and diabetes.  if those check out OK, then the doctor may want to recommend the two of you to a psychologist to investigate depression.

Answer 5

i dont think that you should get a divorce based on his s*x drive .if it is that important then there are all kinds of toys you can try

Answer 6

Okay you were not doing it much before you got married and you figured it would get better after, it doesn't happen that way.  If you want a relationship with more s*x, then I guess you will have to find a new husband, or get him some pills.

Answer 7

He love you indeed,yes.You knew him before married being in that way,and with  that behaviour he is going to be.That he is,he is not going to change.32 years old is a younger age to have problems with s*x drive.You are 24,of course you have 100% energy and desires more than him.But in this case his age is not, and never will be a good excuse to avoid to have s*x.You need to think in this: if you already try everything, to improve and spicy your s*x drive with him,and nothing is working;

if you already talk enough about this situation with him and nothing is changing,then you need to think and talk seriously with him about to finish this relationship.But before even think in get divorce or separate,or do something wrong;try everything.Good question,good luck.This happen in many marriages around planet earth.Some men and women have more s*x drive than others;but helping one to another together,can always solve this problem.

Answer 8

The way you have s*x can change. s*x habits do not make the person. If you want your s*x life to change I'm sure you can do that without asking a person to change who they are. You are married. You should try before jumping the gun for a divorce.

Advice: Maybe in this situation, asking direct may not be the answer. Its a kind of embarrassing topic. Even if you are married. Play up to the type of man he is. You said "he doesnt know why he is like that and that he likes to be alone most of the time" Use that. Whenever you have a day you get home before him. Get everything ready, get beautiful in a s**y outfit. Make or get him his fave food. Put his fave movie, game, newspaper, book whatever he likes to do alone in his reach. And when he gets home just walk up to him in the s**y outfit, and hug him tight whisper in his ear how you missed him and are so glad he is home. Let him watch you walk away to continue something else. Let him see how thoughtful you were to his "alone time" after seeing all that and you looking good he should come running. BUT! it might take a day or two. Be patient. When he does. Kiss him, get on top and you set the pace and mood. Look at him in the eyes and tell him what you want (during s*x) Ask him if he likes it, loves you, take your time to find your pace with him. It may take time. It may take more effort on your part. Now the question is are you willing to do this for him? Remember there may be a time he is required to put in more effort then you. Don't think marriage will always be equal cause it is not. You are not the same person. You should be strong where he is weak and the same for him. Well good luck hope all goes well. And never forget doll a smart woman once said " changing husbands is only changing worries" in other words if you truly love this man stick with him. There are a lot of freaks out there.

Answer 9

Honesty no one can tell you to get divorced it has to come from you and what makes you happy best of luck  

Answer 10

people need to start concentrating on fixing their marriages instead of instantly think about divorce!

Answer 11

I don't feel that this problem is DIVORCE worthy.  So what he doesn't have the same s*x drive as you...not everyone does.

You need to invest in a BOB (battery operated boyfriend) and make yourself happy in the shower as a fill-in for the times he doesn't want s*x.  That way you'll both be happy!

BTW...no one should ever go into a marriage thinking that things "will change"...that always leads to problems!

Answer 12

Nothing changes after marriage, almost nothing. At least not in a good way. I've been married 2 years too and my s*x has gone all the way down. before marriage it was everyday for hours. now its like 2 or 3 times a month, normally. and it will be for like a couple of minutes. Sometimes i'm ok with it cuz we have a son and i get tired all day with him. But i would suggest doing something erotic for him. Get him turned on, Some candles whipped cream baby oil, or k-y jelly, some music, give him  a massage. make a nice dinner. find out what he like or what he is into sexually and do it. Maybe he's a bit of a freak in bed and he's afraid to say it. **** it happends

Answer 13

If you can live without s*x and everything else is fine then live on and enjoy. many couples live a sexless life so this isnt unusual

Answer 14

You would consider divorce over this???  It shouldn't be a big deal.  Guys are just like girls; some want it all the time and some don't.  I want it more than my hubby.  Get it from him when you can, do it for yourself when he won't!

Answer 15

look around town for a filler.

Answer 16

I don't think he should be so mad at you for bringing it up, if your wanting more s*x he should be willing to give you more without a fight or hurt feelings.  He has some kind of issues, what I don't now.  If you wanted it constantly day and night I could see where maybe it would upset him, but knowing how men are that doesn't seem right to me.  You know what kind of guy he is more than anyone here, is he maybe bisexual or g*y?  Does he have health problems or problems that affect his sexual performance or life?  It sounds like you both really have more separate lives than anything, and how did he explain to you it would change after you married, did he mean more time together or what?  I don't think he likes or wants s*x, and it's not your fault he has some kind of issue that he won't tell you about.  Since this is bothering you like this, personally I wouldn't stay with him.  Life is too short to want something easily given by another yet never have it.