I need help about a friend.?

Question

My friend doesn't act like they are my friend. They never talk to me unless I talk to them first and whenever I am talking to them I feel like I am annoying them. But they say they aren't annoyed with me. But they always are making excuses and lying to me about stupid things. I know I can be intimidating and I feel like they are intimidated by me or insecure or something. And I will judge them because of everything I have compared to them but I won't. I love them how they are and I don't think anything bad of them. But I feel like they don't like me or are scared to do something stupid around me. What can I do to change this? How can I let this person know that you need to need to prove anything to me I love you how you are and you're my good friend and I am not going to judge you. Or are they simply just not wanting to be my friend but they are scared if they tell me that I will try to hurt their reputation or something. Whenever I talk to them about it and I tell them that I feel like they don't care and they are annoyed by me they always tell me they aren't and they are busy that's why. What does this all mean. What should I do.

Answer 1

If they tell you they're busy and not annoyed, take their word for it. It's not a great idea to constantly tell someone you are dissatisfied with the way they're acting, and you don't believe their explanation. It's heard as criticism. It means you do *not* accept them as they are, you want them to be your way, not theirs. So I would stop doing that right away.

Second, if you know you're seen as intimidating, can you be less so? What is the need for an intimidating persona? You can't expect people to get past this just because you want them to. If you are more benign, you will have more positive interactions.