I need help and advice Please :'(...

Question

I'm really scared, me and my boyfriend have been trying for a baby again and its proving a little harder than we'd hoped, we've just had a massive row about it. Then I've gone and done the stupidest thing and gone straight to my razor. i haven't reacted like that since the last time me and my boyfriend broke up, and then it took a lot of strength not to slip back into my old self harming ways, that took so long to stop. I'm scared now ive just done this and I'm ashamed, how can i bring a baby into the world am i stupid. I know what i did was wrong but i didn't know what i was doing until it was done...

I'm scared i wanna tell my boyfriend because i know he will help me without telling anyone else but i have been called an attention seeker in the past so much when people found out before i self harmed and it would kill me if he said this. I am worried he might think i did it because of him i dunno someone help...

Answer 1

You two shouldn't row over trying for a baby, it often takes many tries.

Yes you are right you were stupid for going to the razor. Throw it away or something.

I think you should tell him, or go to a doctor or someone who could help you with it. I doubt he will call you an attention seeker if he really loves you. Assure him it wasn't because of him.

Answer 2

You poor thing.  You need to call a crisis line RIGHT NOW so you can talk to a professional who can hopefully hook you up with a therapist in your area.  Cutting is often a way to make inner, emotional, pain something physical.  It somehow seems easier to handle that way.  If people call you an attention seeker, then they just don't understand or have any sympathy.  Cutting is, however, a call for help.

Does your boyfriend know that you have struggled with this before?  Explain to him that it is a response to strong emotion, and not about him personally.  You could benefit from talking to a therapist to figure out what it is that compells you to cut yourself.  Often it is a wound from our early childhood.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I know that it can be really difficult trying to seek help for something especially when people have misconceptions about why you react to things the way that you do. Nonetheless, this is the time for you to suck up your pride and not care about what other people think or say to you until someone says something beneficial and gets you the help that you need.

Honey, you need to stop hurting yourself and get help so that you can learn to recover and deal with your issues in a positive and healthy way. If you really want a baby, don't you think he or she deserves the best you that you can be? A baby needs a mom that is healthy and can help them to grow up healthy and loved and will be there to see them grow.

I don't mean to be blunt or insensitive when I say this but there is no way you should be trying to conceive in the emotional condition you are in. I am sure that you know that cutting doesn't solve your problems, while that is the way that you cope, like any addiction or self-harming behaviour; it may make you feel better in the short term or give you a release of some kind it is not a solution.

I am not sure why you want a baby at this point in your life but a baby will also not solve these issues you are having, future he or she while pure joy in a bundle is also a major cause of stress. It is also not fair to him or her to put this kind of a burden on them, children have a tendency to place the blame on themselves in any situation having to do with their parent's problems.

Answer 4

You are not stupid!! You have realized that what you did is not a productive thing to do, and that it needs to be dealt with so do not be ashamed. You said that you stopped your self-harming ways before, so if you did it before you can do it again. Can you get the help you had from before? Surround yourself with the help you need, do not let this go. You will be OK and just remember that no matter how many times you hurt yourself you are still a beautiful person, so take care of yourself and get better.

Answer 5

Please, deal with your own situation before you consider a child.

Seek counselling; there is nothing wrong or immature with that.

Your bf needs to know.

If he is a real man he will support you.  If not, you would be better without him.

Answer 6

Truth be told, you need to figure out your own problems before you have a child. That being said, you should tell your bf.  

Answer 7

Honestly, I think you should seek some help from a trained couselor specializing in cutting... Babies are beautiful but SO exhausting and (at times) can be quite a drain on a person both physically AND emotionally.  That would be the best advice I could give you at this point.  Perhaps consider the fact that you have not yet achieved a pregnancy as a sign?  You need to take care of YOU before you can take care of anyone else...  Be well.

Answer 8

I think you def need to seek help before you even consider a baby. It's no easy job and what will you do when you just have had enough with the baby?! Kill yourself?! What will the baby do without a mother?! I am not trying to make you feel bad I am trying to make you take a look at whats really going on.  

Answer 9

Many people cut themselves because it gives them a sense of relief. Some people use cutting as a means to cope with any problem. and say that when they hurt themselves, they are trying to stop feeling lonely, angry, or hopeless. Some, who hurt themselves, have low self-esteem, they may feel unloved by their family and friends, and they may have an eating disorder, an alcohol or drug problem, or may have been victims of abuse.

Most people who hurt themselves often keep their feelings bottled up inside and have a hard time letting their feelings show. People who hurt themselves say that feeling the pain provides a sense of relief from intense feelings. Cutting can relieve the tension from bottled up sadness or anxiety. Others hurt themselves in order to “feel.” Often people who hold back strong emotions can begin feeling numb, and cutting can be a way to cope with this because it causes them to feel something. Some people also may hurt themselves because they want to fit in with others who do it.

If you are hurting yourself, PLEASE GET HELP — It is possible to overcome the urge to cut. There are other ways to find relief and cope with your emotions. Please talk to your parents, your doctor, or a trusting friend. Here is a toll free number if the above options are not available to you.

Call 1-800-366-8288 S.A.F.E. Self Abuse Finally Ends

Answer 10

Okay, First of all. The whole baby making business Is not your fault, It's simply his sperm count may not be high enough. Just keep trying. My parents tried for 6 years. They gave up, then one day. My mom was prego. Don't give up hope. Now with the whole razor thing. Hurting yourself doesn't fix ANYTHING at all. Just keep your head up. Keep your self busy. Tell your boyfriend. If he truly loves you. He won't judge and do everything In his power to help you out. Tell him why you did It, and seek help. Hang in there. :D

Answer 11

You need some serious mental help before you should even consider bringing a child into this world.

Go see a doctor!

Answer 12

Your not stupid. But you should be honest with him. Just tell him that you've had a problem with harming yourself in the past and that you did it again bc you really want to have a baby and its frustrating that the process wasn't going as you planned. He should be able to understand and help u. But make sure your open to his feelings on this situation to. He's probably just as frusturated as you are.

Answer 13

yeah, i hope you don't have kids.  kids don't need to grow up around wrist slitting parents.  please, don't pass on your pathetic ways to future generations.  and yes, you are a attention seeker, which is why you want a kid.  you want a baby to cry every time you're not around, you want someone who will coo you 24/7.  if you are cutting yourself, you are clearly not a responsible person, let alone one who should be even let around children.