I need help for afs!?

Question

i passed the all afs exams including interview but my family doesn't want me to go.they say afs isn't safe and many host families force the students to work or babysit or clean the house.(i heard that also from my friends too.)they also say they'll send me to another country for university(im 3th grade in highschool and i will graduate next year june 2009) but i dont trust them.my parents make arguments all the time,shout at theirselves and me.im not happy to live with them,but i dont know what to do.these times my father hugs me and cries and says he will commit suicide if i go.i feel he uses my feelings when they continue to argue and shout at me.they say the host family would send me back since i dont carry responsibilities and the family would use me.(i made all of afs things to go,i gave even the exam money from my pocket money,im not stupid then)

please sb help me or i'll lose my mind!!!

Answer 1

Hey me and you are in the same situation. Like you I am also looking into foreign exchange with AFS or EF. I am not at your stage though. I have extreme empathy for you problem, because like you my parents have tried just about everything to make me stay. Buy when it comes down to it, the real reason our parents are making a big deal out of this is they will miss you. They are not ready to lose you. I am also graduating in June of 09, and after that I will not be coming home to often and my parents know that. In my mom's words, "this is my time with you"

     I haven't heard of any host familes doing things like that, but technically you are a part of the family too (temporialy anyway). I have to babysit and clean so it is really only natural for my to have to babysit and clean over there.

    To suade my parents over to my side I wrote my mom a letter explaining everything, from why I wanted to go and why she should let me. I hide the letter in a place where she would find it in the morning, and the very next day she was more ok with the whole situation. She even offered to call the counseler to make sure my credits would transfer.

    My family also said that I am not responible, which is competley not true just like you. I am the most responible person in my whole grade, and sometimes I think my parents take me for granted, so sometimes I will not do the dishes or such to make them realize that. Nothing drastic though.

     I do not know what to do about your dad, because that seems a little drastic. If he is serious then there is something seriously wrong and you need to tell someone before you wind up on the news.

      Nothing is ever going to be 100 % safe, but the best we can do is try. AFS or EF would not put students with any family that were not safe. They do extensive background checks, so there is no worry.

    My parents also said that they would send me during college but I want to experience foreign exchange before it is to late for me. Plus, next year for half a year is the perfect time for me, since I am not happy year.

      Has for my advice on your host family, use your head. Nobody can take advantage of you if you are aware of your surroundings and if you truly have a bad family you can always change them!