I need help from moms with teen sons?

Question

Last night I went into my sons room (12) to tell him to lower his music, and I caught him mastertbating on the computer completely naked, with one of my bras in his hand. I didn't know what to say so I just closed the door immediatly, does anyone have any tips to approach thi situation, and/or why he would have my bra?

Answer 1

ROFL! Awkward! As far as him using your bra, you should be somewhat flattered. It probably means that he thinks you look good. Just remember, next time, before you open the door, knock.

Answer 2

the masturbation is perfectly normal but the moms bra????

Answer 3

Hey, sorry kid, I'll knock before I open your door! would be a good start. I wouldn't worry about the bra thing too much.  Normal boy stuff.  

Answer 4

I agree with Elyse. Knocking before you enter lets him know that you respect his right to privacy. He's growing up and experimenting with his body.

If you're unsure, or embarrassed by his behavior, then maybe having his dad take the upper hand in this and talking with him will help ease your feelings.

My boys are both in their 20's but my stepson is 14. So whenever something pertaining to the male sexual topic is in order, I get my husband to do the talking. I do remember an incident with my stepson and my nephew...they were talking with my husband about waking up with "morning wood." My husband, being the all-time jokester, told them that if they "played with themselves, they would grow hair on the palm of their hand." OMG...I died laughing when both boys looked at the palms of BOTH hands!! And once both boys realized what they had done, the 4 of us laughed until we cried!

I'm sure your son was just as surprised as you were and that his conscience is driving him crazy wondering how much you saw. He's probably embarrassed, just as you were. If you don't have a husband/boyfriend or another male friend that you consider close, then you're going to have to do the talking. Explain to him that it's a natural thing for adolescents to do, and you don't have a problem with him doing it, but he needs to leave your undergarments in your room.

Maybe you could check where he goes on the computer, if you're really worried about internet p**n, and put a parental block on it. It's not a nice thing to do, but, in the long run, it keeps your fears at bay with all the predators that lurk online just waiting for that innocent child.

I wish you all the best.

Answer 5

Not really sure why he had one of YOUR bras, and why the door wasn't locked, but just know that it's completely natural.  I have three boys, two are now out of the house with a 17 year old still home.  I didn't realize what was happening until one day I couldn't find a bottle of lotion in the house and kept finding them in their rooms.  Short of buying a vat of lotion and keeping it in the basement, and after talking to my husband, I just came to terms with it.  He's definately old enough to have "the talk", and I would probably persue that if you haven't already.  With kids having computers in their rooms, they no longer need to sneek dad's playboy magazines, so they have access to it.  Men, and boys are visual creatures and they need to see to be pleased.  I didn't ask questions, just reminded them to keep the showers down to at least 30 mins.  If I were you, I wouldn't mention it to him.  He's probably already embarrassed and asking him questions would NOT help him at all.  

Answer 6

This is funny.  My dad walked in on me at 12yo too.  And I told him that knockin might be a good thing.

He never said a word...just left and closed the door.

I dunno what my mum woulda done.  Probably been more shocked but left it at that.

Don't sweat it.  Every kid does this.  And it is a nice thing to let em do it in private...ha ha.

Answer 7

Knocking would have been my first choice.  Had you just walked in on him masturbating, I would say " let it go". Having your bra in his hand freaks me a bit. ....What he was doing is a natural thing, However using mom's bra is not "the norm" .

Answer 8

Don't say anything about the masturbating it's normal.  The bra thing... maybe he wants to see what b***s might feel like so he's holding it?  I have no clue!

Answer 9

It's natural.

He's a teen.

Don't think much of it.

Answer 10

i wouldn't say anything to him.

i would knock first though.

he is just doing what boys do.

and i dont know why he would have your bra?

Answer 11

It's normal.

Just say this to your son.

I am sorry son next time I will knock or something like that.

Good Luck.

And same as the first one.

Answer 12

well the masturbation thing is normal and if he wants to look at p**n then i think that it is ok on some levels but if it is hard core that isnt great for a 12 yr old

you need to respect his privacy so you cant be angry with him least it was in his room not in the livving room in front of people

the bra thing is very strange but to approach this situation you cant embaress him but u need to ask why he wants one of his mothers bras