I need help i don't know whats wrong

Question

Sometimes i just wish that i was never alive. I wouldn't have to deal with anything. My parents won't ever understand me. What i have gone through in my life is something that a child should never go through. When i was about nine my brother started fooling around with me. I try to cry out for help but nobody notices the pain. Since then i have never been the same person. Sometimes i just wan't to tell this all to a shrink. My parents don't relize that i can't wait for my first sip of alchol. and my first puff of a ciggarett. I won't ever to be a normal teenager my parents make me go away with them to our camp every week end were i have no friends. I can't wait till i drive because then i can just leave. I wan't a boy friend i want my first kiss and its not like im ugly ive had a boyfriend but i would never tell them. Its hard for me to look at my mom on a daily basis, 2 years ago she took pills to try and kill herself every night these words eco threw my head "im dieing just leave me alone what don't you understand,' she wrote a letter and i have alwats ways wan'ted to know what it says. Then one person i trusted to always be there for me. My brother is and alcholic and got in a accident and i thought he was going to die. My dad puts pressure on me almost every day to do good a school and become a teacher and don't end up like your brother. I can't take it anymore they say they trust me but never show it there going away to camp for 24 hrs and its 2 hrs away but they won't let me stay home cause they think im going to get drunk. i cant stand it anymore today i wan'ted to cut my wristed but i didn't cause im the strong one in the family

Answer 1

your going through alot and its not easy you should speak to someone about this its not healthy keeping things inside it will just make you suffer more in the long run you shouldnt of suffered the things you did you should see a doctor as this may of made you depressed if you cant speak to your parents speak to someone you can trust or get in touch with a therapist you need to move on your life in order to feel happy and i no from experience this is easier said than done ive been through this not with my brother but with my auntys boyfriend so i really hope you get the help you need

if you want to you can write to me in my inbox

im sorry for what youve been through and i think your really brave for asking us for help

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/?gclid=CJieu...

i hope this website can help you

good luck for the future

Answer 2

Jesse,  you have a lot on your plate dear...I am so proud of you for hanging in there.  Sometimes it feels like it's never going to end doesn't it.  But I've got some really really good news for you Sweety...It will.  All of this will pass and you will soon have your own life in front of you.  Im so proud of you for being the strong one in this family...It sounds like people count on your in ways that you can't even imagine.  I need you to be strong...and to stay that way.  About that alcohol, and those smokes.  You are much bigger and stronger than they are.  Those are copouts, and somebody with your willpower and intellect doesn't need them to feel better.  It's just a fallacy that people say that it makes the pain go away.  It doesn't..It just makes it worse.  Mom has some issues...that's for sure...but please remember that her life isn't yours.  You put so much into one paragraph...and it was so well written to.  Your brother's life is spinning a little bit as well.  Is he still messing with ya?... If he is...the next time you just tell him no!  The crazy thing is...is that this is kinda like a normal teenage thing anymore dear.  There are a lot of people in your boat...You just have to be strong for a few short more years..and your world will open up to you like you have no idea.  You cant be responsible for your mother...or your brother.  Don't worry about that letter...she was just moaning and waaawaaaing in it.  She'll work out her stuff, but we've got to get you on the right track...You are going to get alot of answers to this one Jesse...you'll find that you have a lot of people that are going to show you some concern here.  So go ahead and lean on us...that's what were here for.  Right now...let a little bit of a smile come thru...just so I know that you can hear me.

Answer 3

You need to tell a therapist its not good to keep that inside and don't trust what ppl on the internet say they will say kill yourself don't do that  

Answer 4

ceegster is right.. i added him on my contact u know, i can always rely on him when something is wrong.Hes like my counselour.Atleast thats wat i think... Hang in there buddy, you'll make it through.Just keep thinking positive and it will happen.... Im on ur side! :)  

Answer 5

stay the strong one in your family! Show your family that you can you and strong willed. This is really deep. Send something like this to a publisher or something and see if you can see a shrink.