I need help ignoring my alcoholic father, Please Help!!!?

Question

I'm in a weird situation. First I want to make it clear that I do not like my dad at all and am ashamed and embarrassed to be related to him. I would seriously be better off with no father.

He is a horrible person and says the N-word when ever he is drunk. The guy is a complete loser. He is always talking about suing people. He swears constantly and is so d**n obnoxious. He says the grossest things too. His temper is horrible, im pretty sure he is Bi-Polar, he changes emotions so fast. He gets mad at me for no reason.

However I need to put up with his S**t because he can pay for my college money(Long Story) so I need to know how to ignore till I leave for college/ turn 18 whatever comes first.

How can I ignore him?

Answer 1

Avoidance works better than ignoring him. ( know from experience!!!)  Is he only like this when he's drunk? When he starts drinking, split. Tell him you're going to a friend's house to do homework, and don't come home until you're sure he's passed out. If he won't let you go anywhere when he drinks and you must ask for permission, ask before he starts drinking and then leave asap (or get permission from your Mom). Or you could always tell him that you have after-school stuff going on, like drama club or something that would keep you out late, and try to hang out with your friends for as long as you can. If leaving isn't an option, try to stay in your room and pretend you're asleep, or doing homework. If you have another relative that can get involved (like your Mom, or if she isn't in the picture maybe an aunt or uncle, or older cousin) it might be a goood idea to let them know what's going on, in case you need to get away from him and can't go anywhere else.

good luck, hope I've helped some.  

Answer 2

There will be many opinions from various people because the situation you describe is common among families with a member who is an alcoholic.  This is why I will recommend that you attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, and there are several subgroups that cater more to specific role takers in the family.

It is best to be a part of a group in which members understand your situation, can offer you support and hope, and may lead you to some insight about you, your father, and other significant family members.  

This is too big of a problem to handle by yourself.  Avoidance is just about the only way to cope considering your present state of mind.  But I believe that if you attend an AA meeting, you will develop positive characteristics and become a better person within yourself as you find strength in others to cope with an alcoholic father.  It just basically depends on the dynamics which exists between your family members to decide appropriate behavior, etc.  By attending AA meetings, you will become wiser more quickly, understand more deeply, and protect yourself by learning boundaries and gaining emotional strength.

Best wishes, my friend.  You are certainly in a position which is unpleasant -- for you and for your family.  Be strong and attend AA meetings...these two entities will become your way to deal with dad successfully.

Answer 3

The best thing to do is to talk to your dad about how your feeling. Tell him that it really makes you upset when he gets drunk and acts up. Tell him that this is not how you want to remember your last years in the house. I don't think talking to him will do any harm. You should also tell someone that you trust about the problem, whether its a close friend or a coach, it would probably be best to let them know, so that your not in this alone. I'm sure they would have some helpful advice to give.  Probably the worst thing to do would be to ignore him, it wouldn't do anything to help the situation.  Hope I helped!!  

Answer 4

Firstly he is going to be paying for your college so you can respect him for that, and he is obviously paying for your computer, your internet, your electricity, feeding and clothing you and probably giving you a roof over your head, so respect him for that.

You may not like your dad and he may make you feel ashamed and embarrassed, however in future you will need to learn how to cope with him as you will meet a lot of people just like him in the workforce.

If I were you I would learn how to communicate with him which will set you up in very good stead in your future life.

It is also a great idea to get a job where you can earn money and have a little more freedom outside of the home and with your money.

Answer 5

Ask him questions for which he can't come back with anger. "Dad, is there anything I can do for you on Saturday?" etc.etc.  Another tactic is to get a job. No matter how few hours you work, it's an excuse to be out of the house all day if you want. Just to be safe, I'd tell somebody about him, and about your concern about him.