I need help not being depressed when I'm alone

Question

Alright so the story is, I am an 18 year old girl, starting college in the fall. I am attractive, intelligent, musically inclined, going pre-med, all things that should make me feel pretty good. But I do not feel good. I was on medication for a while for my depression, but honestly felt as if it wasn't doing much for me, so I stopped about a month ago. My problem is that although I am an extremely outgoing, fun, loving, and happy-seeming person I suffer when I'm alone. I get so depressed when I am by myself. If i spend one night alone without going out with my friends to a party or to do something (like tonight), I just feel terrible and worthless. I think about all the things that I am not doing good enough and it drives me crazy since I am so ridiculously hard on myself. I also tend to crave and look for attention from guys and girls, which leads me to make poor decisions such as being sexually involved with people I know are way below my standards, such as exes that I call when I'm feeling down, and partying too hard with alcohol, other drugs, etc. When I'm with my family, friends, or people that I know enjoy my company it makes me feel so fulfilled, and when I'm alone I'm empty. I'd like to know if anyone has gone through this, how they came out of it, any tips on being more comfortable alone, being happy with who I am, any help is greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

I go through this from time to time when I am alone I start feeling depressed. What has worked for me is to find things to do that I enjoy to occupy my mind and have fun or just relax. The worse thing that you can do when your alone is to be idle. Because when your idle and your mind is not occupied and all of those insecurities that are not always rational start surfacing. So, my advice would be when your alone just find things that you enjoy doing and do them!  

Answer 2

have you tried listening to up beat music, or restful music like Enya and just relax and start enjoying your self and your own company.

I went through something similar when I was your age, but I read alot. I was miserable every Saturday night though as I wanted to be with that special guy that dumped me. Of course I was depressed who wants to be dumped.

I was too skinny, to shy, I ended up doing some things I regret but they helped me become who I am today. You need to start telling yourself that you are fine the way you are and believe it. List all your strengths, run, it releases something.

I used to put on loud music with a happy beat and dance and excercise to it.

Now I like to try and relax,, hah.. only achieve that through a massage treatment. I listen to more relaxing music and I try not to be so hard on myself.

You are special there is no other one just like you and as such embrace yourself and realize that happiness is inside of you waiting to be released not something you need to chase.

Cheer up and Believe!

Answer 3

I have the exact same problem just a little vice versa. I never go out with family or friends but when a rarely do its the best days of my life. What I usually do is listen to motivational music or experiment with whatever I have around me like taking it apart and learning about it. I used to talk to myself but I stopped because I thought if my mom found out she would put me on meds. But most of the time I just read or listen to music and lift weights.  Last resort is Xbox live.

Sry if I didnt help

Answer 4

In my professional opinion you need to be on an antidepressant.  I know you said you were on one but it didn't do much for you.  There are many many different kinds and sometimes it takes several tries before you find one that works for you.  The fact that you make poor choices and have a very self esteem also points to the fact that you should probably be in regular counseling so that you can learn coping skills to not only help when you are alone but to give you the strength you need to make better choices.  I have been there, I have done the exact same thing.  Its not just poor self-esteem, poor judgment or being overly critical of yourself.  All of it is affected by the chemical imbalance that is going on in your  brain.  Speak to a counselor and your doctor so that you can get the help you obviously want.  You have great goals and obviously know that you are better than the depression and its effect on you.  Don't give up on the medications because you will eventually find one that works for you.  Use the knowledge and skills of a good counselor.  And know that you aren't alone. Also check our Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance as they have lots of information and can even give you support group info for your area.

Answer 5

I know how you feel, I can't stand being alone. I get stuck in my own head, and things go down hill from there. I actually found a really simple fix for it. Get a roommate, its soooo much fun if you guys click, and you always have someone to be with. At one point in time I had 7 roommates, best time of my life, not that I recommend going that high, one or two is fine (our apartment was TRASHED) lol. But about feeling good about yourself, think about how much there is that you CAN do, not that you SHOULD be doing, but CAN. Ur going premed (me too) think about how great that is! You are smart, attractive and have friends, think about how much everyone and everything has benefited from you in their life. That kind of thing, good luck! If you need someone to talk to, I have no life =), so you can email me if you want.