I need help on my personal introduction!?

Question

well.. im doing the national american miss pageant for new jersey. please dont use my intro if you are in new jersey! i would be heartbroken if someone else had the same on as me! so how does this sound

hello, i am Sarah middlename lastname, To fufill my love of science and animals, i plan to be a marine biologist. until i make my controbutions to the scientific communtity, i enjoy participating in my chuch's youth group, reading, and writing. From the wonderful town of mytown, I am sarah middlename lastname

will that wow the judges?

[please do not take.. the judges could find out!!!!]

Answer 1

hello, i am Sarah middlename lastname. I come from a family of 5????/.

I am studying xxxxxx at xxxxxxx.

to fufill my love of science and animals, i plan to be a marine biologist. and hopes to make my controbutions to the scientific communtity, by (doing) or being active in xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

If you have had any leadership roles - say it here.in 2007, i was xxxxxx for xxxxxxx.

i enjoy participating in my chuch's youth group, espeaciallly xxxxxxxxx. i enjoy reading and writing.

from the wonderful town of my town, I am sarah middlename lastname