I need help on what to do?

Question

i have recently moved back to my home town and have started to catch up with old mates but one off them has a bf but is seeing 2 other lads behind his back and sleeping with one. i have known her yrs but she is putting me in a funny situation. can someone help me plez!!

Answer 1

Who are you better friends with...sounds like you should maybe chose one or the other.

Answer 2

Talk to your friend and let them know the situation they are putting you in. They may not like this. The outcome will tell you what you must do and if they are really a friend. It won't be fun but don't get stressed about their problems.

Answer 3

If the boyfriend you are referring to is also one of your old mates I consider you have a duty to tell him - the reasons will follow.

If he is not one of your old mates then you should tell the girl that she is deceiving her boyfriend and that is not the way to behave.

There may be no harm in her seeing the other lad but this very much depends on her motives.  If she is playing the field then again she is deceiving her boyfriend.

It is not clear to me which scenario applies in this case but the following may assist you in making the right decision.

We all have friends for a variety of reasons, some to play sports with, some maybe to go to music concerts with.  We are by nature gregarious and need friends to meet our many and varying needs often in groups.

This is the important point.

All friendships are based on honesty, loyalty, trust, and openness amongst other  things.

When we make friends we evaluate them to see what they can offer us but more importantly what we can offer them in terms of meeting our and their needs.

Because your friend is sleeping with another lad behind her boyfriend's back she can't be trusted can she - at least not by her boyfriend if he knew.

Now if her boyfriend is  an old friend of yours in view of what I've said about friendships ask yourself if you as a friend have a duty to inform him of her behaviour out of loyalty to him.  If the answer is yes, then based on the principle of openness tell her out of loyalty for your friendship with her boyfriend you intend to tell him.  Be open about it.

Additionally if she is being unfaithful to her boyfriend to whom she  owes loyalty ask yourself can she be trusted in other areas.  I think not.  

You know which of the scenarios applies and if you agree with what I have said about friendship then I believe you will know what to do.

It may also help if you put yourself in his position.  How would you feel if your boyfriend was being unfaithfull to you, you had a friend who knew what was going on and did nothing about.  Would you want that friendship to continue. I think not.  

I've answered several questions relating to friendship and related topics and they are available for you to see if you go to my best answers.

I hope this has been of some help but please feel free to email me if you consider I can be of further assistance.

Answer 4

I'm afraid its not as if shes being a bad friend to you.

It must be difficult for you but you have to figure out who you care more about; the guys or your friend.

Maybe try tell her you don't agree with what she's doing and that you think she should be honest with the guys because someones going to get hurt in the end.

Answer 5

sleep with the bf

Answer 6

i have sooo done the same thing as yoo... Just stay out of it , trust me no one will thank u for it x