I need help/opinions. I don't know what to do.?

Question

Alright so, for the explaination, we will call this guy joe.

So, joe and i dated for 7 or 8 months, and at one point I went away for 2 weeks to visit some relatives, at this point, joe and i were not on good terms, we were having a minor relationship conflict, but we both knew we just needed some time apart to think. so, for the time i was away joe and i didnt really talk. anyways so when i got home, my mom was like bragging to me saying that joe had texted her and said how much he missed her and how he wanted to hang out with her and stuff. so, i was pretty much like heartbroken to the extreme at that moment. anyways a few days later i found out from a few people that i had gone to school with, not really friends of mine, just aquaintances (that work for my mom) that she had actually been the one that texted joe and told him how much she missed him and stuff and invited him to their apparentment (shes like a friend to them all so she hangs with them sometimes). anyways, so they hang out in a room for a while and then she gets him to leave... and then she gets him to come back when she thought everyone was sleeping. [information from the aquaintances and from joe] i confronted her about this infront of the aquaintances and she just started the "whatever" thing with me and then left. joe and i got sick of trying to be happy together with my mom always causing problems so we broke up. joe and i have not talked in 3 months because its just hard because there is ALOT of love there still but wejust cant handle all the stress of it right now. my mom is constantly bragging to me when she sees him or talks to him...and shes always trying to get him to hang out with her and such... ive told her a million times how much this all hurts me and she tells me that i just need to get the F&%k over it and that she can do what she wants with who she wants.

I have lost alot of respect for her and i deem her untrustworthy, but she thinks its irrational and that i shouldnt be like that. and that i have no reason to lose respect for her or deem her untrustworthy because she says shes done nothing wrong.

how would you feel?

am i being irrational?

Answer 1

Your Mom sounds like a crazy B***h.  What kind of mother tries to steal her daughters boyfriend and then rubs it in? She seems like she has some major issues. You should get as far away from her as possible and cut of contact, She can't be good for your sanity.  Also any guy who would date a mother and a daughter is a complete jackass who only cares about his own ego.  Dump both of them and try and move on with your life.  Maybe you should try some counseling to help you get through all of this, it seems like there are probably more issues than just this one between you and your mother and talking to a counselor could help you work through all of it.  Don't let them get you down, you deserve to be treated better, Good Luck

Answer 2

You can feel however you want to feel, they are your feelings and sometimes you just can't control them.  And you also can't control how your mother acts, but if you're being honest with her, that's the best you can do.  She is your mother, and if you're telling her that she's upsetting you, she should stop.  Most mothers wouldn't purposely hurt their children, but maybe your mom is insecure and jealous of you.  Are you and your mom close in age?  She seems to want to hang out with your friends often...doesn't she have any friends her own age?  You could try hanging out with her friends (if she has any :-).  If she's upsetting you by seeing Joe, continue to calmly tell her that what she's doing really hurts you and ask her nicely to please stop seeing him.  If she continues to see him, tell her that you don't want to hear anything about it.  Try to find new friends and try not to hang out with your mom as often.  Good luck!  

Answer 3

For one, how old are you and Joe? And who the fck is Joe to where you would even allow yourself to feel down and depressed over him? What is so grate about Joe that you just can’t find anyone else (or your mother either)? Are you still in high school? And what's the deal with Joe even going over to your mother’s apartment and spending time with her? And why would you even want to waste your time with a man that's willing to see your MOM, behind your back? Why put so much dramatic energy into such drama and non-sense? This sounds like an episode of Jerry Springer!

What you need to go, is get some business for yourself, and move away from Joe and your mom. You need to get your own space (if you're old enough) and move on from these unstable relationships with both your mother and Joe. If I was you, I would let them go ahead and be happy together and I would live my life to the fullest, not worried about what either of them does. Because they're only doing it to hurt you. The only way I would say that you're being irrational of illogical is for the simple fact that you're even allowing yourself to get entailed in a web of bull$h!t.

Seriously, get over Joe (You're only hurting because you wont' allow yourself to let go of him), tell your mom that you could care less what she does or who she does it with; and seriously create a social life for yourself. All this going back and forward between you and your mother over some man (if he even is a man, depending on his age) is absolutely ludicrous And it makes you look just as much a "drama queen" as your mother to even let something like that stop you from having peace within your self. I'm not trying to talk bad about your mother, but any woman (or man for that matter) who only hangs out with the friends of their children are people who're so insecure within themselves to the point where they don't fit in with people their own age. Never wanting to grow up, maybe wanting to belong to a crowd of peers that is easily manipulated, what ever the case may be.

Look into going and starting a new life with your family that you went to visit. Take yourself out of that equation of despair and stop feeling sorry for yourself because you and Joe aren't together. Joe is not the first and he's not the last man that you'll meet in your life time. Try to find a man that's not so open to spending time with your mom. And have build on yourself esteem so you don’t allow your mother to keep you from feeling good about yourself and who you are as a person.

What part of the U.S. do you live in by the way? Is there a shortage of men where you're at? Why do people waste time caring about people who could care less about them? It sounds to me like you like drama just as much as your mother (and Joe) does.