I need help.................?

Question

i'm 56, and my mother passed away of cancer almost 2 months ago. I watched her die for10 months..... only the last 2 weeks were so devestating to me. My heart is broken. i can't get over it. anyone out there that can give me some advice. broken hearted.

Answer 1

Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.

It seems to me that all great things said are cliche:  "Continue to live you life", "Time mends a broken heart", "Life goes on".  So I have come to the conclusion that all the "cliche" things in life we try to avoid, must be the truest things in life.  What I am trying to say, you are trying to get over a broken heart.  Only your inner physician can heal a broken heart with a prescription of Time (rx).  So, you have to wait for Time to kick in before you can be relieved of a broken heart.  So, you are, right now, being healed.  This you must believe.

Answer 2

Mama is no longer in pain, her suffering is done.  Now is your time to grieve and hurt and heal.  This is the hard part of grief:  we think it is not about us, and that is exactly who it is about.  You want her back, you want to be able to remember how she was before she was ill, you want her here now to nurse you back to normal...  And all of that you are feeling is quite normal.  It is the living who feel pain.  Find others to grieve with or solitude:  if at all possible, find a garden you can visit daily, even if it is a stone stairway surrounded by flowers, but something of nature, where you can breathe things that are alive.  And it is okay to cry.

One day I was at an outdoor meeting by a field.  A huge flock of migrating butterflies were in the field, and one pair came and greeted me as I was thinking of my parents.

I still miss my mom after 15 years, but it is no longer like knives inside.  I would just like to be able to turn around or call her up and tell her something - so I do that, it my head.

Answer 3

allow yourself to feel the way you do. i'm sure you have family around you that love and miss her just as fiercly as you do. remember her with them.

don't give up on your life, if your mother were still with you you know what she would say. imagine what she would tell you about not worring so much and continue to live because our lost loved ones would hate if your life stopped because they weren't in it anymore.

love her everyday by living everyday

Answer 4

I can only answer from the experience of my last 3 years. My father passed almost 3 yrs ago & I lost my 20 yr old daughter to suicide almost 3 months ago. The only comforts I find are the fond memories I have & the love I still have for them. It comforts me to realize that through their deaths it has brought me closer to my family that are still here & to honor their memories by never letting a day go by w/out showing everyone I care about how much I truly care about them. I hope these words find you well , & my deepest sympathies on your loss.