I need help trying to talk some sense into my friend

Question

she is about to marry this guy that shes only known for 3 months and

both of them are broke as h**l plus he has 2 kids and is paying child support and about to lose his crib she lives with mom and is paying off student debt the guy is nice and works hard 2 jobs but still I fill that after the wedding she will end up pregnant because shes 30 something and really wants kids I think that she will end up taking care of him plus his old kids and a new kid on top of all that where the h**l are they going to live? he told her that they can stay at his moms crib after the honeymoon till they get on their feet is It me or are they doing everything backwards?

Answer 1

If she is in love with him, talking bad about him will only lose you a friend. Talk to her about waiting until they are financially capable of living on their own, about how difficult it will be to start married life living with his mother,  etc  Make sure you mention that he is a nice, hardworking guy so she knows you are looking out for their best interests, not bashing him.

Answer 2

Tell her that she's only known him for three months, that's not enough time to really get to know him.  Tell her not to jump into anything.  There is no need for her to rush into marriage even if she feels like she's going to be an old maid, and I think that's her problem.  Well guess what, I waited for Mr. Right, and I was 38 when we met and we've been happily married now for 18 years after knowing each other for two years.  I don't know what you can do to convince her to wait.  He needs to be financially stable.  Do a background check on him, does he have anything in his past he's not telling her?  Anything criminal?  Believe me, she would not want to live at his mother's house.  She will never have any privacy, can't touch her stuff, she won't have anything of her own, it will be h**l for her live there like that, especially since she doesn't even know the guy!  Try to convince her to work and get her debts paid off, and wait until he's financially stable so they will have a place to live, because marriage is hard enough without money.  They'll just end up fighting and end up divorced.  Those are the facts.  Hope to God she's on the pill.  

Answer 3

her life.....her mistake. She's not a baby, ya know...at 30 she knows what she is doing.

Answer 4

Its not just you. These two individuals, as well-intentioned as they may be, are not good decision-makers. They have not really thought through the logistics and long-term issues of this marriage.

I dont think you can change her mind, though. All you can do is try to plant a seed in her mind with some innocent questions about their future. But tread lightly, if you insult her, she could distance herself from you.