I need help with an alcoholic friend/father figure?

Question

I'm 15 and my mom's ex-boyfriend is an alcoholic. He's like a father figure to me because I've never had a father around.

Anyway he just went to a 30-day treatment program. He got out and said he hopes he never drinks again. In the last few nights that he's visited, I sensed that he had been drinking, so I confronted him about it. He always denyed it. I went in his car to look for the alcohol and I did find a empty bottle of vodka. I asked him if he had been drinking it and he said yes. I told my mom and she told me it wasn't my problem so I shouldn't say anything about it. But I went to him and told him that it was unacceptable for him to be drinking when he was on the verge of recovering. Then he left my house.

So my question is: What can I do to help him or what can I say to him to make him stop? I really love him and it hurts me to see him this way.

Thank you, answers are greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

Make him know that your words are spoken out of love.  You have not legal power to make him stop.  Nor does anyone.   Continuing to drink will result in terminal medical problems.  He probably knows that.  There's no magic set of words or emotions that you can employ.  Quitting is his responsibility.  You may need to face an inevitable loss.  Good Luck

Answer 2

You can't do anything.  The only way an alcoholic will quit is if the alcoholic admits they have a problem and truly wants to discontinue their addiction.  Nothing you say or do is going to make him want to quit.  He obviously really didn't want to quit when he went into rehab.  Your mother is right, it isn't your problem.  He isn't on the verge of recovery and you have no right to tell anyone what is acceptable and not.  He is an adult and has the right to make his own choices whether you like it or not, frankly it was extremely disrecpectful of you to tell him that that it was unacceptable.  You may be concerned for him and you may not like that he is drinking but you as a child (and until you turn 18 you are considered a child under the law) have no right to try to make him quit doing something he obviously chooses to do.

Answer 3

Tell him exactly what you said here...tell him you love him and it hurts to see him this way and you want him to get well.  Other than that there is nothing much you can do.  It is up to him to get sober but perhaps knowing how much you care will help him find the strength to clean up his act.

Answer 4

first of all I'm a Christian so i would go and sit down and pray to God to give me the rite words to say to him and that he would help me do what i need to do to help the man out and even if you aren't a christian PLEASE pray to God anyways. he has helped me in so many ways and answered my prays and if you don't want to do that, I'm sorry for you situation but HONESTLY that's the best thing to do in a situation like that.

just pray.

hope i helped.

and i will pray for you and your fatherly figure.

:)

hope everything works out.