I need help with my 10 year old son.?

Question

I'm at my wits end. My 10-year old son is acting up in school, having outburst, and today trying to set fires in the house. I don't know what to do with him. I've had him tested and I just don't know what to do. He's a very capable child when he puts his mind to it but lately I just don't know. I don't want to give up on my child. I need some advice on which way to go.

Answer 1

Be patient ten year olds are hard to handle not small not big.though they behave too big for their shoes thesedays................a real test for the mothers..........do not chide him in public and never lose your temper

Answer 2

First off PLEASE take a deep breath and NEVER give up on him. If you give up on him then he will give up on himself. Unfortuntly it seems as though he is thriving for attention and doing these negitive things are giving him just that. Sometimes when kids need soemthing they dont care if it is neg or positive as long as they are getting it. I know people hate hearing this but I would recommend finding a family therpist in the are so that they can help figure out what the underneath issue is with him and also so that you have a support and outlet too. Also sitting down with him and starting by saying Honey I love you but we need to figure out somethign else here because this behavior is not working for either of us and see if he has any input on where this is all coming from or hwo to handle it. Have him involved so that he knows you respect him enough to behave right. Good luck I hope it all works out.

Answer 3

its probably a phase, spend time with him it might be just to get your attention ,talk to him see if anything is bothering him

if nothing works there also is something that causes this it is called "super male" it may sound weird but the disorder is a male with an extra y chromosome it causes aggresivness extreme hight and maybe even severe acne  now i am not saying he has this but have it cheked out

Answer 4

take him down to the fire house and have them explain the dangers of setting fire to things. This sounds like a cry for help though. Have a look into some family councelling if he can't open up to you and tell you what is bothering him

Answer 5

i think you should do is to scare him. I did that with y nephew he was the same until one day i got so mad, what ever he was doing i let it be and made him get scared then i told him story's that haven't happened but i made it sound that it really happened and he got really scared and then in a couple of days he just stopped.

Answer 6

I would urge you to speak with some higher level psychology graduate about your son's problem. Ring the psychology department of a local university and ask the receptionist if anybody might be researching this type of aberrant behaviour.

She or he may be able to assist or even to recommend you

further.

Answer 7

tisk tisk tisk, parents, not spanking and disciplining their children because some social advocates said that it was wrong.  When I was young, (spanking was legal and very very common) do you think we had such problems?  I'm not blaming you, because I am a law abiding citizen as well, but I am blaming the selected people in today's society that have to have things their way.

Send him to a foster care for the weekend, or find a way to show him what happens to kids his age that are bad.  Try spending more time with him doing the things he likes.  Go to the park, try playing basketball with him.  Ride bikes?  I think he is acting up for attention, and once he realizes that he gets attention all the time, he won't need to get the attention of friends or you by doing bad stuff.

Answer 8

My parents lost a home and almost their 2 month old baby (me) in a fire set by a boy who was playing with matches in a closet. I don't know what ever happened to him, however he did survive the fire he set. I grew up with a boy who set fire to his bedroom which he shared with a younger brother... his 18 month old brother died in the fire. Setting fires is very serious, and cause for some MAJOR concern, however you cannot give up on him. He is your child and you need to fight to the bitter end to try and lead him down the right path. He is only 10 and still impressionable. It sounds like there is a lot of turmoil in your life right now (from your previous question) i think you need to probably get some counseling for your boy. And perhaps for your family. Good Luck to you.

Answer 9

Let me guess- Either you do not have a husband in the house or he is too lazy to disipline his kid.  If there is no man in the house you have to play both roles- hard to do.

Answer 10

Your son is only going to do what he knows he can get away with.  You need to strip him of everything... privileges, games, toys, electronics, everything!  Make sure there is nothing in his room that will entertain him.  Be sure to get rid of all the matches and lighters.  You may even consider removing the door to his room and take away his privacy.  He needs to be grounded indefinitely.  I'm not talking weeks, I'm talking months or however long it takes to make him behave properly.  Show him that you are serious and that you are not going to let up until he gives you good reason to think he's changed.  We are forced by law to feed, clothe and shelter our children, but we do not have to provide them with everything they want.  Make him earn his things back by showing respect to you, your house and his school and teachers.  Don't let him sit around and watch TV.  Make him work and do chores around the house.  Be firm and show him that you are the adult and he is the child and that's just the way it's going to be.  Setting fires is a serious, serious situation.  Good luck.

Answer 11

maybe try some counseling, you probably will have to include the whole family!

Maybe some kind of a reward system when he has good days in school, without getting in trouble.

As far as the fires, you need to keep all lighters and such away from him. Try to explain what would, could happen if everything caught on fire.  Look up 3rd degree burns on the net and show him pictures of burn victims=D

Answer 12

hey cool thats what i did when i was like 10 all the way till i was like 15...