I need help with my 6 year old sons behavior!!!!?

Question

My son is 6 years old, ready to turn 7 in May. He just started recently this bad behavior. Nothing has changed in life that would make it tramatic to him. He started out very well in school in the beginning. He was getting 90`s. Then about 2 months into it he decided not to do his work and talk and goof off and His grades went down. He had a tonsilectomy and had his adnoids removed due to sleep apnea. When he went back to school and was doing better again. A couple months later (now) he is back in the same behavior again. At home he has snuck candy when we were sleeping and ate so much he threw up. He peed on my bathroom carpet on purpose. He doesnt listen or do what he is told. The teachers say he doesnt follow directions and he doesnt pay attention. I have divorced his father 3 years ago due to physical abuse. He has a younger sister who is 4. I have tried taking his stuff away, punishing him, making him earn things back and rewarding him when he is good..chuck e cheeses..ect. HELP

Answer 1

spank him or ground him. but first tell him what he did wrong. just pull of his pants and underwear. then hit him about 5 times soft with out any marks.

Answer 2

I really beleive it is normal for the age group.  Everyone I know has talked about the terrible 2/3's and then how things were good until 6/7....I am going through the same with my 7 yr old and have seen other post on here about it also.

I think part of it is to show the independ]ce they are gaining.  Another part is the kids they are in classes with...they puck up the worst behavior habits from friends opposed to the best.

From my experience...taking things away, grounding, early bed times, time outs, spankings, no snacks etc have no effect.

Just be consistant with him, be clear on what is appropriate and not appropriate behavior and do not give in.

Gotta go take care of mine now, they are jumping like elephants and know that is not allowed in the house.Good luck

Answer 3

children don't always need to be rewarded with physical things,like you mentioned chuck e cheese.Bring it to his attention that a hug or encouragement is rewarding in it's self. Maybe try possible time outs for the boy and explain why he has them and take away things he enjoys the most,, ,television or games or having a friend over for pizza.and since he might not sleep well, this can bother a child and he might not get adequate sleep.

Answer 4

Have you been consistent with the punishments though?

When you threaten him, does he believe you?

A lot of parents just kinda give up and sit on their butts while screaming at their kids but don't do anything to follow through...

Or maybe you're giving things back too easily?  And make sure to take the most important things to him away, tv, video games, etc... make sure he isn't sneaking them any way either.

Take something away, and don't give it back until he's been doing what you've asked for a week.  Might seem harsh, but you won't have to resort to it very long because he'll learn.

Answer 5

I see that he had surgury for sleep apnea  - have his serum feratin levels checked too. My son had major behavioral problems and had his adenoids and tonsils out along with tubes - which did help , but he also had to be put on iron supplements (restless leg syndrome). its possible he is just not getting restful sleep (even though he is in bed) and therefore is acting irrationally during the day.  

with this said, it also sounds like he is very stressed about something. Try lying down with him when he goes to bed and just talk to him. In aday or two, he might start opening up to you about things that are really going on with him. i have found if i lay down with my son at night and just "talk" he often divulges info to me i had no idea were on his mind.

remember, he's 6, he's still so young...he'll outgrow this too.

Answer 6

This sounds like my son. At least it sounds like my son used to be!!

He was tired and cranky and would not be able to control his moods. It turned out that he was reacting to the artificial additives in his food. He is now on the FAILSAFE diet and he is like a new kid. We have to avoid all artificial additives and keep his diet low in amines and salicilates but he is so much better that I really believe it's worth it.

If you are interested in having a look and seeing if it might hel you the website is www.fedupwithfoodadditives.info and the name of the woman who created the program is Sue Dengate. She has books and dvds out that you can have a look at.

I really recommend having a look. It can't hurt!!

Answer 7

I know this might sound weird, because he's only six..

but he might have friends that act out too.

You should talk to him about them, and see if thats what it is.

If not, maybe he just wants more attention.

But you should definitely talk to him, and be stern.

Ask him why he's being bad.

Hope that helps!

Answer 8

You said nothing had changed...yet you list changes both recent and in the past.

I suggest family counseling.

Answer 9

I have a few ideas.  You need to be really honest about any changes that have occurred in your lives.  Has anyone moved into your house or moved out? Visitation with his father?  Are you spending less time with him?  Sometimes things that you think are insignificant effect a child's emotions deeply.  Spend time talking to him (not when there is a conflict) and see what's going on in his world.  My son and I have the best talks in the car.  Also I would speak to his pediatrician about testing his hearing and vision.  (JIK) Then talk to his teacher about testing at school for learning disabilities and giftedness.  When my son started school he was so happy at first (just to be with a bunch of other kids) he was doing great with his work, but after a few months of repeating the same stuff over and over he got really frustrated and would come home crying.  Maybe your son is a heck of a lot smarter than you know, but he is not being challenged and has no outlet.  There are plenty of resources out there in your school and library to get challenging material for him.  Communication is the key here. Ask him why he's upset or acting out and then listen carefully.  Don't shout or wine or put a guilt trip on him.  He might not participate with you at first, but he'll come around.  Don't bribe him or blackmale him into good behavior.  Let him learn by your example.  "We talk to express our emotions (good and bad) we are resposible because it's the right thing to do."  Good behavior should be it's own reward. .. . good luck to you!  Reach out for help

Answer 10

u should sit down with him and have a serious talk. tell him that he is causing u alot of stress and that he needs to stop this. dont yell but be stern then finish the talk off with a big hug. :]

Answer 11

maybe he is acting bad because he thinks it's your fault for divorcing his dad(which you know its not.). and you say three years ago you divorced his father,maybe at that age he didn't quite understand what happened. now that he is older he may learn the real defition of divorce from kids at school.so he is being disobintent to you as "payback" for divorcing his father.next time he does something bad instead of punishing him sit him down on the bed and explain to him why did he something wrong.then ask him if the divorce had anything to do with this kind of bad behavior.after listening to his side of the story tell him that the divorce was not your fault and explain to him what happen.you might think this is alot for a six year old but one day this will pay off. you don't want him to end up physicaly abusive when he grows up like his father

Answer 12

It sounds like your son is seeking attention is a serious way.  It follows the time line well, his "love bank account" with you was full because he was home all summer and did fine in the beginning of school.  He acted out until he had his adnoids out, to which I am sure you played nurse to some extent and he got his attention and another debit in his bank account.  Back to school and his account gets credited every time a negative encounter happens, leading to misbehavior when it is overdrawn.

I would suggest setting up a one on one time during the week when it is all about your son, not because he behaved but just because he is precious and loved by you.  Also, a daily 5 minute quality time can truly help taek the edge off during the week.  Make sure you are100% with him when these times happen, it will help them be effective.

Best of luck with you son & I hope this helps!!

Answer 13

it sounds like he might have a bully at school!! for him to all of a sudden act up i would ask him about school and stuff see if u can get it out of him

Answer 14

Test him for ADHD.

Answer 15

ask him why hes acting like a little jerk. His behavior could be revenge for something he feels aginst you. And dont panic its probably nothing you did as much as something hes blaming you for. As for the candy thing, dont make candy a big deal, only have as much as you want him to eat in the house. I dont mean give him it all but that way ifhe gets it it wont be a problem.  Dont hide it or make it a big thing that its here but YOU CANT EAT IT! Thats setting him up. At school I  bet its someone he is hanging out with. Dont go looking to blame someone thatwill only make him defend his friends, or give him an excuse for being naughty, as in its not my fault.... Everyone is responsible for his own behavior. In my opinion being good shouldnt be rewarded unless it was something beyond normal behavior. Im sorry I could go on and on I just think that bad behavior isnt something you cant control. You are the Mom, you are the boss, he is a child, he is not the boss.

Answer 16

It might be tv