I need help with my 7 yr old son?

Question

My son is very dependent on other people for his entertainment. He refuses to play outside even with other kids, he wants to be right under me ALL the time. I understand that he misses me when I am at work, I miss him too and want to spend quality time with him but after work and on the weekends he follows me like a puppy. Even to the bathroom....I tried just putting up with it and being understanding but there comes a point where it's just gotta stop. He recievd lots of new toys for Christmas and within 24 hours he was complaining that he was bored and that his new toys were boring. I don't know what else to do to get him to be a little more independant when it comes to entertaining himself. Any suggestions? And please no rude comments, I come on here for help not to be shot down.

Answer 1

well your post speaks volumes, you don't know what else to "get him"

I'm a mommy of 5, if I didn't want to spend 24/7 with my kids I wouldn't of had them you son is begging for YOUR attention, not a new toy.

he will be satisfied for longer if you start spending more time with him. just sit next to him and talk, or if you have to get something done, say laundry, let him help you sort colors, put them in, turn it on etc.

for what it's worth i haven't peed alone in the past 6 years unless I was hospitalized....I'm glad my kids want to be around me so much....thats what kids do.

If they don't want to be around you all the time ( when they are small) thats when you worry.

Answer 2

let him come with u to the store so he can go with u to pick out a toy or let alot of kids to come in ur house and have fun with him

Answer 3

Child could have some attachment issues - it wouldn't hurt to talk to the pediatrician or a psychologist.

Herbie has great advice!!

Answer 4

I have found that if you push away, they come forward. But if you stop and give him some huge one on one time... really invovled, that usually works. It is backwards to what one would think and this works for pets and relationships, and pretty much any time you need space. This even works if you are being assulted or someone is violently grabbing you. Instead of pulling away, come forward, and the person will loosen their grip. This works on an emotional level too. If someone is nagging at you or following you around, stop and come closer to them and give them all of you for a time. After that, you can give him a project or a distraction and his 'mommy tank' will be full and he will go for the distraction. That is too bad for you though... that is hard. I am lucky, my child has always played great aloen.

Answer 5

I have the same prob with my 9 yr-old.  Try to encourage activities with friends (i.e. invite a classmate over) and find him a hobby.  My son takes art class on Sundays. Much to his dismay, I signed him up for track.  I'm hoping that he'll like it once he tries it.  It's difficult, but try to minimize the amount of toys!  I swear, they are the root of all evil.  The children become addicted and constantly want more.  Try nature hikes or baking cookies as an activity you can do together.  Good luck.

Answer 6

Put that boy to work.

he can clean under the beds. Help sorting laundry. Folding clothes. When you pay bills, he can do the math on a calculator. Eventually, he'll become either really tidy or suddenly have something he would rather do on his own.

Answer 7

Suggest you invite a friend around for a play date?

Get him involved in cubs or St Johns Ambulance etc?

Soft play areas?

Get him playing with cousins?

Find activities where he is able to excel himself! Good luck!

Answer 8

I have a 6 y.o. son, and he often wants to be very near me and do whatever I do....to get attention, he often says he is bored.  He truly does just want my attention, and often a good talk and some cuddling  will be enough to send him off on his next adventure.  Some day our kids won't want to be around us, and we'll miss them then!  Your son's behaviour seems totally within the realm of normal to me, especially since he has no siblings, and is away from you all day when you are working.  Try to remember:  this too shall pass.

Answer 9

Your son might me shy, too shy. What if somethings are bothering him alot, but he's a frade to tell you.

Answer 10

Sounds like you need real professional advice. I'd look around for a child psychologist and see what they would recommend. There may be something going on that requires special attention.

This is not something if I were a parent I would trust to asking anon strangers about.

Answer 11

he's a mam's boy just give him attention bring him somewhere just the two of you make it a tradition i went threw this with my boys they just love us cause we take care of them do special things with him and let him know you do it with him for him and because it makes you happy to be spending alone time with him

Answer 12

wow congrats to you for being so understanding. i am not sure what to tell you, when i was young i hated playing with other kids, just liked hanging out by myself. hopefully he is just going through a funk right now.

Answer 13

sounds exactly like my son and he's almost 6.

The only time I get some "me time" is when he is at daycare and I'm going to or going home from work.

I get very tired of my son being CLINGY. He is a social animal - he needs to be with other people. I dread the weeknds because he wants to go out, and I have to "entertainment" and that costs money - money I cannot always afford to be paying out.

My husband and I are both introverts. I prefer to be sitting quietly reading, hubby likes to be fixing something.

I cant suggest anything, because I am trying to find the same answer. I just sympathise with you.

Answer 14

i have a son a he was once like your son but now he is older and more self dependant what you should do is dont shower him with gifts or spoil him or he will take advantage of you. When you say no to him make shure you mean it and he respects you and doesnt pass thru one ear and falls out the other i hope this helps

Answer 15

he needs you to pay more attention to him but following you to the bathroom is a bit much

Answer 16

You're going to have to be stern with him, SHOVE him outside if you have to.  Obviously he had your undivided attention when he was small and you never taught him to entertain himself.  

"I come on here for help not to be shot down"  The way you've raised your child isn't our fault.  That's your's.

Answer 17

Wow...I have a six year old girl that is the same way.  I do agree with some other answers here that state he does not need another toy or even the "right" toy; he only needs you.  Children do need to learn to be independent to a certain degree, but they need us more than we think, especially their mommy.  Assure him everyday that you WILL see him when you get home from work and it will only be "X" amount of time.  You do have to be understanding about him following you around.  It is not that he can't entertain himself, but something has happened, and it can be very simple or not so simple, that has made him have separation anxiety.  My six year old went through this at Christmas time when a relative passed away.  She was not so close to this relative, but it still impacted her and the doctor said to just ensure her that I am taking care of my health and that I will return from work and be there for her.  We have one day through the week that is our day for about an hour where we do something creative, crafty, or even bake something.  I know you have a boy,  but I am sure you can come up with some kind of fun time activity-just one hour a day.  I am certain he will lighten up soon, with a routine mommy/son time once a week.  It can even be a bargaining tool, so to speak.  Tell him about something special that will happen on your one on one time (something he has been dying to do) if he goes outside and plays or plays with neighborhood kids...

Answer 18

I would look into some community programs such as soccor, Tball, gymnastics and the like.  Once he realizes he can accomplish things when he is not attached to mother's hip he should become more independent.  Also he should start to make friends in this environment which is a good thing too.