I need help with my poems. Are they any good?

Question

I need help on editing them and naming them and any tips or hints that can help me with poetry.

The first one:

Your everything I could be.

Every thing I am.

Everything that is mine is yours.

Mind, body and soul.

You saved me from the darkness,

That was my life.

I was teetering on the edge,

Ready to fall.

But it was your deep, dark amber eyes that

Caught me.

When I fell.

The slow beating of my fragile heart.

I slyly glimpse at your long muscles under your bronze-colored skin.

Your hair laying close to your face.

Your long fingers dancing across the desk.

So may things I would say to you.

But all I need is 3 words

3 beautiful,beautiful words.

But before I reach for your heart,

You shyly come and grasp

My ivory hand.

You leaned down,

Whisper in my ear,

“I love you, for always.”

and the next one:

Something alights deep within thy soul when the sun touches thy skin and lights the way home but alas the darkness can be most welcoming even for those touched by the suns rays.

Thanks!

Answer 1

It would b better if you make it rhyme and use equal number of syllables for each line.

Answer 2

U can revise it. It needs some work.

1st ( stanza) is ambiguous. " U R every thing I could be", how is that ? Do U mean "I could B any thing U want me to B"?

Last ( stanza)1st line, is an opening for what U wanna say to him, but the 2nd line talks of what U wanna hear from him".

U have many sub-pictures here,which U could  'v utilized them so that each stanza expresses 1 of them.Try to make it flow, try to like sing it, and see how it feels. Exactly , there is no Harmony.IMHO, a (poem=painting=symphony) = music,any off the line voice 'd ruin the show.