I need jokes for my wedding speech!?

Question

I am getting married and need to have a few one liners for my speech. Something clean though as I have to address my wife, my father, my father in-law, my best man and the guests.

Any ideas/advice?

Answer 1

First of all congratulations. Speeches can be a daunting task however there are a few simple rules to follow.

Try and keep it short but not to short and make sure you thank everyone. Funny is good and people always expect to have a good laugh. When I gave my speech I read out a small passage aimed directly at my wife. It was totally sweet and everyone went ohhhh. And then I finished it with "I managed to find that on the internet". Everyone burst out with laughter and the rest of the speech was smooth sailing from there.

There are a few tips at http://www.bestmanspeechesblog.com. See if they help and good luck for the big day

Answer 2

Talk to the older married men, like grandpa or the barbershop gentlemen.   They are bound to have funny true stories about being married a lifetime... and they are usually clean.

I've been married for 30 yrs myself.. trust me there is some funny stuff in there.

Answer 3

Remember the movie wedding crashers?  I'd watch that and get some ideas!

Also - unless you're a fantastic public speaker, I'd keep it sincere and short.  

Answer 4

this was the toast at my wedding from one of the groomsmen... not sure what you're looking for, but hope it helps. (it was a BIG hit at my wedding... people still bring it up)

he told me and my new husband to hold hands with his hand on top... once we closed our hands together, he told my husband to "enjoy... as that would be the last time he ever had the upper hand..."  

i loved it!

Answer 5

if anyone says marriage is an institution,remember so is Pentridge.