Question:

I need opinions on a story I'm working on?

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So I was in the middle of writing a novel when I decided to write (and finish) a shorter story first.

The story is about a young vampire called Kane (yep, another vampire story by a teenage amateur writer who's barely old enough to be in high school - sorry people). But that's why I chose the vampire theme, because there are so many vampire stories out there. I wrote this just to see if I could finish a book and actually deliver a whole storyline.

Anyway, Kane is a young vampire who was found by a man named Daniel Wolfram 5 years ago. Daniel works for a secret group called the Knights of the Equinox who protect the secrecy and existence of creatures who aren't exactly human. He found Kane on a mission and he handed him over to the Equinox who tested and observed him in a lab for five years.

Daniel is then given the task of training/taming him. He decides that the best way to teach Kane how to control his desire for blood is to cause him to fall in love with a human girl. The only problem? Kane acts like an immature jerk and he's not the only handsome teenage guy under Daniel's roof. Also, the girl, Sidney, has her own history that is somehow connected with their own mysterious pasts.

I need someone to read it and critique what I've written so far...please? If you're willing, I'll send it to you by emaill.

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  1. wow that sounds good i'd read it lol :)

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