I need parenting advice for a 16 and a half month old girl. She is getting unruly and I need advice?

Question

Our daughter has been perfect for 16 months except when sh was teething obviously. NOW, she hits us and keeps doing so even if we say NO or STOP! Also, she will fixate on an object like a cell phone, and if she doesnt get it, she cries(we usually dont give it to her). We don't believe in hitting since most studies say that it does more harm than good. We are open-minded on that though since we can't explain to her why she is bad since she doesnt understand. How can we gets her to stop hitting and being mean? How can we get her to understand NO is NO when it comes to wanting to play with a cell phone or hitting the cat or just being mean? Thanks, she has been a d**n angle up until 2 weeks ago, and no, nothing has changed in the household, we are loving as we always are with her.

Answer 1

If there are things in your house you don't want your daughter to have, then at that age it is easiest to have these things totally out of sight. Find a spot in your house like the bottom stair, or a special mat, and designate this the 'time out' spot. When she becomes unruly, tell her she will be in time out- "Mommy is putting you in time out NOW!!", give her a quick reason why- "Hitting the kitty hurts her and we don't hit in our family", and place her in the time out area for a minute or so. Make sure if she gets up she is put right back, as many times as it takes for her to complete her time-out. When the time is done then let her up. She will understand a simple reason for the time-out, but don't bog her down with the dictionary version. Be CONSISTANT!!!!. This will work if you keep at it. Also, remember to praise her for all the times you find her doing something good; don't use rewards, just lavish her with affection for her good deeds.

Answer 2

She is contrary because she is going through change. Moving to the next level.  She is frustrated and taking it out on you.  I would suggest you pick your arguments.  She is probably very strong willed and is spreading her wings.  The hitting shouldn't be tolerated.  Give her time out when she begins.  The tantrums will reach a peak but will subside.  She will try and manipulate you with her tantrums and hitting - they all do it.  Just be patient with her as you go through this season.  It won't last.  Just know that you have a strong, independent individual who is growing fast.

Answer 3

My son is 16 months old and he has started with the attitude lately if he doesnt get what he wants.  We do re-direction.  I will remove what is making him angry or i will remove him from the situation and give him a book to turn the pages for me or we will find something else to do.  He has really shown alot of positivety doing this.  Alot of people tell me that i am giving in to him to easily but I am not giving in, I am simply showing a positive direction he can take and that other toys are just as cool as mommys phone or the remote.  I dont put my son in bed unless it is time for him to go to bed.  I can see where i might be spoiling him a little but respect starts at a young age (atleast he is not getting what he originally wanted :)  Have fun with her and good luck.  Alot of people say that time out can start working at this age, but i havent tried it yet!

Answer 4

Try time out.  It is 1 minute for every year old they are.  Well at this age at least.  Put her in the couch without the Tv and sit near her so if she gets up, you put her back.  I have also heard when they do something bad, you get up really close to them, kind of in their face, and talk to them.  They will look at you, if you are that close to them.  Make sure you have their attention. You could also just try smacking her hand lightly when she does something wrong.  It works on my son.  I heard things are different for every child in means of punishment.  I gave you all of the ideas I have.

Answer 5

When my son started the hitting thing I just acted really hurt and pretended to cry - he is such a sensitive boy that it really did the trick.  If you don't have a sensitive child I would say "no hitting" and then move to a different area and not play with her for a bit. This will usually help them understand that you won't engage with them when they exhibit this behavior.  As for the phone thing I would say put it up out of reach and then distract her with doing another fun activity - or you could get her her own phone (when you upgrade your phone save the old one and let her play with it).

Good Luck!

Answer 6

Sounds like she is hitting the terrible 2 early. You said you "usually" don't give her the cell phone which I understand as sometimes you do give her the cell phone. When you won't give her what she wants, she kicks and screams, sometimes it works so she's going to try it everytime. You have to be consistant in what she can and can't have because now she's learning how to play you. My daughter is 20 mths old and she understands no means no. Children know more than we give them credit. When she kicks and screams just ignore her but make sure she is somewhere safe that she can't hurt herself. She'll learn that the tantrums don't work anymore.

Answer 7

go to the focus on the family web site

Answer 8

Don't let her abuse your cat! It's not the cats fault your daughter is a brat.

Answer 9

Divert her attention. When she goes for your cell phone say "No, that's Mommy's and not for you to touch". Then hand her a toy cell phone. When she hits the cat, get down on her level and say "Hitting is not nice" and show her how to pet the cat. If she keeps hitting the cat, and she probably will, divert her attention to an appropriate activity.

At her age, she doesn't really understand right from wrong. She's really just exploring and she should explore. She's being a typical 16 and half month old child. As much as it tries your patience, staying calm and diverting is the best approach. When she's old enough to understand right from wrong then harsher punishments will be appropriate.

Some days can be really tough so do not forget to take time out for yourself. It will do a world of good for you and your daughter.