I need parents' advice!?

Question

My cousin called me earlier and was complaining that her parents think she is getting married too young, shes 23. I personally plan to get married at 23 as well, as soon as me and my bf get into a medical school. Parents, would you decide for your kids what age they get married or would you let your kids decide for themselves because they are the ones getting married? Thanks

Answer 1

The age is ok, but being at med school will put pressure on the marriage. I completed 3 years of pre-med and quit, it's tough.

Answer 2

I am a parent and I got married when I was 22 and I am perfectly happy still at 27. I don't think 23 is too young at all to get married.  Life is too short, if you're happy and want to spend the rest of your life with someone, then you should get married! Once your child is 18, you really have no say so in what they do. Yes, you can voice your opinion, but you have no legal means to keep them from getting married.  You just have to pray and know that God is in control!

Answer 3

at 18 they can decide for themselves.  I don't have to like it but i do have to respect them.  at a certain point, you just have to hope you did a good job.  good luck.

Answer 4

im no mom...but as long as theyre out of the house they have freedom to decide for tem self =) and if its true love, who cares wat the age is

Answer 5

I got married when I was 21 and I had my first baby when I was 22. Personally (after 8 yrs) I wish I would have waited a little longer, but everyone has to live and learn. I will not interfere with my girls decision about marriage when the time comes. Once they are 18 they are adults and have to make their own choices.

Answer 6

Well, if you're an adult, your parents really can't tell you what to do anymore.  They can disapprove all the want, but at 18, if you're out of their house, you are your own mommy.

Answer 7

They don't have a say about IF you get married. But they have a say about contributing financially.

When my kids are adults, I will not presume to be able to tell them if they can get married or not. I might offer my advice if they are open to it. Hopefully I have taught them to choose wisely while they were children and teens.

People get married at all different ages, some make it and some don't.

Answer 8

I wouldn't get mad at my daughter but I would voice my opinion and she may not like it. I'm no one to judge when someone should get married but I will always push for waiting until your so positive there isn't a single doubt anywhere in your mind. I have 2 kids and I am still not married to their father yet because we had kids young, and we want to wait a while, I don't ever want to get divorced. And yes having kids with someone is also a big deal but it happened with protection, and we really love each other and we are having another, but just because we are expanding our family now doesn't mean we have to rush to get married. We want to get married and we are sure we will but we are just waiting it out a while. There is no hurry. Why can't you just love someone. I love him just as much unmarried, If everyone wasn't in such a hurry nowadays there wouldn't be as much divorce, everyone is rushing toward something in life that they are never going to find because they don't even know what they are looking for. And everytime you take a step toward where you think your going to find what your looking for we become disappointed that it wasn't there and start up with the next thing. Having kids has taught me to slow things down and appreciate every moment for what it is. And that is what we are all looking for. That slowed down moment of happiness in doing something you love. instead of pushing onto the next thing to hopefully make us settle. Love being engaged for a while, then when the time comes, love being married, then love having your kids, just don't rush it to find something more, because there is nothing more, right now can be that happy moment your looking for if you treat it like one. Marriage is a serious thing and it shouldn't be done before the time is right for it. If she is getting married because she really really unconditionally loves this man and wants to spend the rest of her life wrapped in his arms and only his, and fight with him and only him, then by all means she should get married, but not just because she is looking for something to make her happier. Too many people do that and ruint heir lives. That is probably why her parents are upset. Not to be mean. And if she does marry him for these reasons then everyone will see that and they will accept it.

Answer 9

i would say if they have there life in order. like you and your bf are trying to get into med school. i think you have your life in order. if a person is 24 and still living with there parents and don't have a job and there bf just got out of prison, then I would have to say no. parents just want there kids to have a good life.

Answer 10

I would think that no matter what the parent's think, once you are 18 and independent you get to decide for yourself.  Ultimately, I would just want my kids to be happy, but at the same time, parents have more experience and thus more advice.  Either way, she's of age, she doesn't need anybody's permission.