I need people to read this! I am going to show it to like the?

Question

best writer I know and I can't tell if it is a good story or not... It's called the Unholy Angel this is a story chart

The Unholy Angel

By: Jake Edwardz and

Beefcake Jones

Characters

Mary (38)

Lucifer (42)

Xavier (37)

Ayden (21)

Dante’ (33)

God (unknown)

Settings

Heaven

h**l

Earth

Realm of Insanity

Present Day

Part 1: Obsession Withdrawn

Lucifer is obsessed with God and can’t wait to die. When he dies God shuns him and Lucifer realizes God isn’t the nice person everybody thinks he is. Lucifer contemplates about God’s death. Mary kills herself and tries stall Lucifer but can’t and he makes a sword called sijunhel.

Part 2: Forsaken

God gives Lucifer a speech but it has no effect on Lucifer and he stabs the sword through God. Lucifer’s wings turn black and his hair turns grey along with his eyes. God tells Lucifer that he is a brave man, God disappears.

Part 3: Havok

Lucifer disappears then reappears in the Realm of Insanity which he later calls h**l (Lucifer banishes god from h**l). Lucifer contacts Ayden and gives him powers of evil. Ayden’s job on earth is to now kill everybody. As everyone dies they are sent to h**l to be recruited into Lucifer’s army against God. He sees Xavier and Xavier tells him “wise words”. Ayden kills Dante’ who Lucifer makes his right hand man

Part 4: The Battle of Destiny

God contacts h**l and tries to make them believe that they belong in heaven but they don’t listen. Lucifer took everybody from h**l to Heaven. The army kills over 400 angels. Ayden is fighting next to Dante'. Dante’ saves Ayden eight times. Lucifer gets to a pearl gate and shatters it. Dante’, Ayden and Lucifer stand in front of God. Ayden thinks about what his uncle said and before his dad kills god Ayden shot green hellfire at his dad and he is burned to ashes. Ayden is rewarded with eternal life without death.

Answer 1

I don't think that you can kill God...

If I were you, I would forget the entire Heaven/h**l thing. Instead, make God a medieval king, and Lucifer some kind of War General. Or even make it more modern.

Answer 2

God wont like this, heck I dont even like this. I hope he chooses the most painfull lightning bolt to strike you with!

Answer 3

dude ho ho

Answer 4

Its good but umm seriously i dont think god will like it seriously i mean seriously seriously good book though watch out for the lightning god strikes you down with