I need potty training help!! PLEASE!?

Question

My son is 2 years old and has exhibited signs of readiness for potty training. Anyone have good suggestions for getting things going? We have introduced him to the potty and even made him a cool party chart that he gets stickers on for sitting on the potty, pulling down his pants and etc. This worked well for about a day but now when I try to put him on the potty or even ask him if he needs to go, he stomps his feet, puts his bottom lip out and yells NO MOMMY!! I have tohave him trained by September because he's going to a new dayschool and they require your child to be potty trained to go there. Any suggestions would be great!

Answer 1

Hi Melissa,

It sounds like your son is resisting to some extent. It may be worth your while backing off for a few days, and starting afresh. I have found the best approach is to make the potty training process into a game, so that it is fun for your son, and you should win him over. Start with a modelling process, a day prior to commencing with the potty training of your son.  

Here are the steps to follow:

* Place one of your child's diapers on their favorite doll or teddy bear (let's call it "Dolly" henceforth). Tell your child you are going to play a game with Dolly, and that you are going to teach Dolly how to go to the potty to do pees and poos like Mummy and Daddy, and that Dolly won't need a diaper anymore but instead will wear 'big boy' or 'big girl' underpants.

* Place underpants on the doll or teddy (preferably the child's

intended underpants if roughly the same size as the doll or teddy, and show your child where they can be found).

* Give the doll plenty of water (if using a doll that can be fed

water and then pees) or imitate giving plenty of water. Tell your child that Dolly needs to pee, or it will wet its underpants, so it needs to go to the potty quickly.

* Rush the doll to the potty.

* Take the doll's underpants off and place the doll on the potty. Touch the Dolly's underpants and say "Dry underpants Dolly - well done" (let your child touch the underpants as well). Let Dolly do a pee (or imitate doing a pee by using a water filled medical syringe or dropper hidden behind the doll). Make a big deal out of the doll doing its pee - say "wow, Dolly is doing a pee, isn't that faaantastic!! Dolly is a big boy/girl now!"

* Role play teaching Dolly to wipe him/herself with toilet paper

* Put the Dolly's underpants back on and say "Keep underpants dry Dolly", take the potty to the toilet, empty contents and flush the toilet.

* Get the doll to wash its hands.

* Let your child put a sticker on the wall chart for Dolly

* Praise the doll for doing a pee on the potty. Make it a Big Deal. Make it party time! You can for example go dancing with the doll to music, blow whistles, make it a real fanfare (something that your child will really get a kick out of)!

Repeat the above five to ten times in a row, then get your child to progressively take control over the doll to take to the potty by themselves, five to ten times. Let them take control as soon as they want to, just be sure to remind your child to follow the above steps exactly. Children learn best if following a specific routine. If your child is showing disinterest in continuing with higher repetition of the 'game', do not force the issue until your child is in the mood again. You want to make the experience as positive and exciting as possible!

On the following day, the true 'potty training day', your child has modeled the potty training routine on his/her doll, so they will know exactly what to do, but just hasn't carried it out yet by themself. Your child also still needs to connect that when they need to pee or poo, they need to use the potty. Here is what you need to do:

*You need to arrange to have no distractions - preferably just you and your child. Avoid having visitors over.

*Make sure that your child has been given foods high in fiber and plenty of water prior to this day. Your toddler needs to have soft poo.

*It is preferable to set aside an activities area where you and

your child will play. To start with, have the potty in the same

area. You may want to protect the floor in this area with some

plastic sheeting and a towel, to deal with the inevitable

accidents. If you need to go to another room, take your child and the potty with you.

*On the day, you need to get down to your child's level, and tell him or her that they are going to be a big boy/girl from now on, and will be wearing underpants like the doll (or teddy). Explain to them that, like Dolly, they will need to pee and poo on the potty, to keep their pants nice and dry. Let your child play the potty training game with the doll to reinforce the steps. Give your child plenty of water to drink, so that he/she will pee often and get lots of practice.

*Follow EXACTLY the same process in the potty training routine with your son as was carried out with the doll in the modelling process.



Most importantly after each success, CELEBRATE!!! Let your child be proud of their accomplishments. You need to elicit the right behavior by encouragement and positive reinforcement only.

*There should be no scolding or negative reactions to your child doing things the wrong way - it doesn't work and will most likely set your child up for failure. If they make a mistake, tell them it's OK and that they can try to get it right the next time. Do not show your disapproval or disappointment.

If your son knows what to do, but is resisting your encouragement, you need to back off. Often parents make the mistake of pressuring their children subsequent to the initial training period. You need to remind less often, let your child have their inevitable accidents, and you will be surprised at how quickly they then take it up by themselves. Toddlers don't like being forced to do things. If your son feels that he is being forced, it will backfire on you and he will resist and regress.

Answer 2

I agree try candy.

Answer 3

I agree with grannie, if he's saying no, he's feeling pressured and isn't ready.  You don't want to traumatize him by making him do something he isn't ready to do, its only going to frustrate you and cause your little boy to be in tears.  Since you have a couple of months maybe you can find a  dayschool that doesn't require the child to be potty trained.

Here's  an idea.. if your son has any friends that are potty trained have a play date..when its potty time and he sees his friend use the potty, maybe he'll follow suit.

Answer 4

Throw Cheerios in the toilet and let him try to hit them with his pee. Target practice, if you will.  There are also several books out there at Wal Mart and Target that are especially for children on potty training.  Another cute book is, Standing Up.

Answer 5

Hi,

I know this most likely isn't what you want to hear but.........

if you son was exhibiting sign he was ready and has gone to "No Mommy" it sounds like he's feeling pressured...

back off.  September is 2 months away and although it doesn't sound like much time, potty training is one of those things that frequently is a one day training event.

I had a very wise pediatrician who very honestly said to me, children don't have total control of their bodies until around age 2, anyone who says a child is potty trained before that age is confusing the situation: the child isn't potty trained, the adult is trained to put the child on the toilet frequently.

The advice he gave me was simple, when he's ready he'll use the toilet as long as one is available.

It worked for me for 5 children.

When they showed signs of being ready I would put them on the toilet once and explain to them that it was so much more fun to be able to flush the toilet than walk around with "poopy" diapers.  When they wanted to stop wearing diapers they only had to tell me and I'd help them sit on the "potty".

If I noticed them obviously having to go to the bathroom, I would casually ask if they wanted to use the "potty" but other than that I didn't bother them over it.

Each one of them, for some unknown reason (at least unknown to me) decided to start using the bathroom one day and other than occasional accidents (very few) they never went back to diapers.

Well at least the ones that are still living home, 12 and10, the other 3 who are 30, 25 and 21, I couldn't swear to, but I'm pretty confident that they are still trained....LOL

You need to stop worrying about the whole thing.  You are probably making yourself and your son too tense.

By the way, my guess is that the Day School "requires" it in the hopes that the majority of the children will be trained and that they don't actually refuse the children that aren't (at least that is the way it is in our area)

Enjoy the summer and your child.  Life is way too short.

Good Luck

Answer 6

Throw some Cheerios in the toilet and have him try target practice.

Answer 7

My boys were trained with books. At regular intervals we went in to sit on the potty and read books (I know this can totally upset your daily schedule), if it happened we said wow, what a big boy! If it didn't happen we didn't push. We would just resume our regular intervals. I know your feeling the pressure of making the date for school and your son can feel that pressure as well. Try not to say anything about going in the diaper or not going when on the chair, try to only comment positively on the times he uses the chair.

Hang in there mom! Best Wishes

Answer 8

Get rid of the diapers.  Put on Pull Ups or training pants and tell him he is a Big Boy and Big Boys don't wear diapers except to bed, and when Big Boys have dry diapers at night they don't wear them to bed anymore.  Big Boys go to the bathroom in the potty and that's it.  Don't beg, don't bribe, just TELL him what you expect.

Leave the potty in an area of the house where he can see it, don't leave it hiding in the bathroom.  Then, every 20-30 minutes bring him over to it and tell him to try and go.  Make a game out of it with Cheerios - have him aim at them.  Give him books to read for his bowel movements.  If he wets himself, tell him it is ok to have accidents, he's learning how to be a Big Boy, that he just forgot to go to the potty, but he needs to tell you when he needs to go.

He'll get the hang of it very quickly.

Answer 9

bribe with candy worked with my kids

Answer 10

You can't MAKE a child potty train.  Like others above me have said, if he's not ready, then leave it.

The bladder is that last organ in the body that we gain control over.  That's why some children who are 10 and 12 years old still wet the bed.

You can't punish a child for wetting themselves, no matter what age.

Like the others have said, don't push him.  Make suggestions.  And for heavens sake, don't bribe him with candy.  Bribing is bad enough but candy is not good for his health.

Try pull ups.  Try a seat on the toilet itself instead of a potty, if that's what you have.  Having a chart and rewarding him with stickers is a great idea.

Boys are harder to train than girls.  I have 2 girls.  The first one trained before she was 2.  She decided that she wanted her diaper changed after every little pee she did.  That's when I decided she was ready to toilet train.  She trained in one day.

When they are ready, it will only take a day or two to teach them.  If he's fighting you, then he's not ready.  You tried and he's telling you it's not time.  You can nudge him to keep trying but don't push him.  Pushing him will only make it take longer to happen.

Good luck.

Answer 11

I know you  probably are worried that your son won't be potty trained before day school starts.  He probably won't be if he feels pressured.  I have potty trained several children.  Sometimes boys are more immature than girls and it takes them longer to be trained.   One thing you can try that I found works.  Get a metal coffee can. With a permanent marker make a dot on the inside on the bottom. Show it to him and tell him it is his noisy potty. Place it near his potty chair.  When you sense he needs to potty ask him to show you what potty he wants to go in.  Let him walk in the bathroom first.  He will get the feeling he is in control and not you.   Ask him if he wants to pee on the dot and listen to the noise it will make.  The sound from an empty metal can is surprising.  He will think it is fun but may miss a little until he gets use to it.   Then after a few times ask him to see what kind of sound the other potty makes.  Then after a few times ask him to see what the big potty sounds like. After a a week or so you may be able to do away with the can.  Give him lots to drink and salty snacks all day because that will make him drink more and that will make him go more.  If he doesn't seem interested at all in this then most likely he is not ready.  One day he will just do it without you asking.  Good Luck and don't worry it will happen.

Answer 12

My son would NOT go on a potty chair, but went on a regular toilet after we got a seat and a small stool he could manuver himself. He had shown signs of being ready, but we finally picked a day and switched to underwear. We had a couple of messes after refusing to go when we reminded him it was time, but he soon learned he didn't like that feeling and used the toilet with no problem.