I need really big advice someone who can be very serious and help me with a very serious matter, wrote a lot!?

Question

I'm only 13 years old, my parents are divorced, my mom and dad live in the same state, but completely away from each other. my dad got full custody of me and my sister about 3 years ago. I still live with him till today. He got married and his wife has two kids, a 10 year old son, and a 20 year old daughter. My dad told me that whenever we want we could move in with my mom, beacause he could tell we were not happy with him, which i partially am. I love my dad way more than I will ever love my mom. She did so many things to my family that I cant ever forget. But, also my dad wasnt the best either when I was very young, but I dont remember that. Here living with my dad, he works days, nights, and weekends now. I never see him anymore, but it's only cause he has a crazy job right now, Im wondering if its going to change. Like my mom did, shes changed for the better already. As hard as it's going to be for me, I think its the best for me that i live with my mom. She will let me do more, and I'll get to live my life! Where as at my dads, every day in the summer im stuck babysitting my 10 year old stepbrother who sits on the computer all day. He always gets what he wants, and me and my older sister never get to do anything. My dad says that we can only do 2 things per week. and during the school year, we can only do one thing a month! if i moved in with my mom, i would come with my dad and my family for EVERY SINGLE holiday. i wanted to talk to my dad about it too, but i just want other peoples opinions! all my friends at my moms house say i move in with her, cause they miss me. and all my friends at my dads house say that i should do whats better for me, and if i move to just not forget them, so they seem very supportive, i dont know how i could leave this, I'm really not sure what i wanna do, its going to be very hard for me to leave my dad and my family behind, but i think i will live a much better life with my mother, as i already have a lot of friends where she lives. Should i move in with my mother, or stay with my father? and if i should move in, i wanted to at least wait till after my soccer season which ends in november. is it a bad idea to switch during school? HELP PLEASE!!!!! :(

Answer 1

Ok bro, here is the game plan.

First off, your father may be hard on you (restricting your activities) but moving in with your mother is not the solution. Where you are is home. Your school, your friends, your father who has taken care of you....is home.

You don't want to be the guy who bails when things get tough do you? Isn't that what your mother did?

So commit to staying.

Now, these kids who've moved in with you are going to be a nuisance. Your step mom is going to be a nuisance. And it'll probably get worse before it gets better.

However, your duty as a son is to stick it out with your father. And the current situation is not an excuse to act like a bad son, but rather a better reason to act like an excellent son.

Your father needs an excellent son. He needs someone he can depend on; someone whose reliable.

Bro, it's your job to be that son.

If you run when the going gets tough, you'll run away from things for the rest of your life.

So put up with the babysitting detail. Try to keep your room clean. Focus on your studies. Do what your Dad...and your step-mon ask of you. Don't complain. Don't whine. Suck it up and be a Marine about this.

In the years to come, you will be thankful that you decided to help your father. He's already busting his butt to keep the power on and the food plentiful.

How are you planning to reward that effort? By doing what your mother did?

Or are you going to do what she SHOULD have done?

Stay bro. It's the right thing to do.

Answer 2

wow what a heavy load for a 13yr old to carry. Sweetie.. just do what your heart tells you. You can,t make everybody happy. You have to think of your own happiness in a situation like this. It sounds like you pretty much have your mind made up... so good luck and always be HAPPY.  The future is yours to control.  xxxx

Answer 3

What you are describing is normal human behaviour and all girls need their dads when they are young, just like all boys need their mums when they are young, then at puberty stage or just before it, both s*x's have the urge to change parents to the same s*x parent. This is so common and naturally, as you now have a lot to learn without knowing it from your mum. So smile and make the change and don't forget to see your dad in the holiday times.

Answer 4

My parents have been divorced for as long as i remember. My father had custody of me and my older brother till i was 14. I moved in with my mother thinking that the grass is always greener on the other side. In some ways it was. You don't want to move in with your mom just because she will let you do more. You need to do what you think will be best for you to do. Maybe try it over summer as a trail period. Talk to your mom and dad together if possible. Ask exactly what would go on.  Is the school better? Transferring schools is not a "bad" thing but not a "good" thing either. I would really talk to the both of them. Good luck to you.  

Answer 5

If things are going OK at your Dad's, wait till school end to move in with Mom on a temp basis....just to see how things go. You may find yourself more bored at Mom's. At leaset if you ask for a trial period, everyone will know that you want the right to move back if things do not work out. Stop judging your Mom on the past. Only count what she is doing today...that will encourage her to keep up the good work. OK? OK! Good luck.