I need rude and insulting, funny teasing text messages to send! Everyone where I work sends them.....?

Question

Here's an example of a good one...In 2009, the federal government decided to ship all the mentally retarded away. I cried when I heard this and thought of YOU! Be strong buddy and wear your helmet!

It's a competition at work to see who can send out the funniest rude and insulting text messages. Please only post if you have funny ones, and no regular jokes or riddles. Thanks!!

Answer 1

someone just sent me this:

"i just made you open your phone for nothing. its great having your a..ss in check. whose my bi..tch? youre my bi..tch. :) now close it.

LMAO."