I need single parenting advice?

Question

I am a single mom to an 8yr old boy. I'm the typical struggling mom. I work full time. I work an extra job a fews hours on the weekend and I go to school part-time ot get my degree (in the hopes of a better life for us). I feel really bad when I am too tired to spend some real quality time with my son. He is overall a good kid with the common mischevious behavior and tantrums. When he has those moments it stresses me out and I flip out. I don't hit him. I don't call him names or put him down but I end up yelling or threatening. I am not proud of my behavior but I know that it is from the stress of being a single parent and having an overloaded life/ schedule. Is there anyone else out there who is going through this? Do you have any advice?

Answer 1

Hi! I am also a single mom & girl we sound like twins! I have a 10yr old son, full time STRUGGLING business owner and full time school. For some reason I have an extra short fuse when it comes to my son.. Especially after a long or frustrating day and I feel so bad about it... ALOT! What I have started doing is playing 1 or 2 rounds of good ol fashion board games (Connect Four, Monopoly, Clue, etc.) or we watch a tv show that we like together for about 1hr once or twice a week or whenever we don't have football practice or art classes. Once a month or so we go to a movie or go out to eat. Other than that we go to a park, walk two or three miles, grocery shop, visit friends/family or we cook together. Or after class when you get home before you both go to bed just sit with him for a minute, talk about his day in school and yours. Even if it's for 5mins that day, we both feel better bcz we spent some time together! I know people in two parent households who both scream all of the time so rest assure that it's not just single parents :)

It sounds like you are doing a great job! Keep up the good work.. God bless you both!

Answer 2

I know exactly how you feel, I was a 21yr old single parent of 4 beautiful kids.. I too worked all week and went to school in the evenings to get a better education. Everything my kids did would set me off in a screaming rampage, and I would yell at them for no reason. It wasnfaulteir fault that I was tired, stressed and frustrated so I talked to a family counselor and I learned to relax a little bit more. I know that you might need to work an extra job if you need the money, but you also need to rest and spend time with your son. if you want to e-mail me you can... Things do get better.  

Answer 3

I am a 20 yr old single parent for right now (my husband is in prison).  I work full-time and go to school part-time and also work another part-time job sometimes when they need help.  I know it gets stressful doing everything on your own.  Just calm down and take a deep breath.  The reason you work and do everything is because you're trying to conquer your goals for the future of your son.  You just need someone to talk to or some "you" time.  Have someone watch your son and take a night out for you.  Enjoy yourself and release your stress.  Try not to take it on him, try to widen your schedule and have days where you and your son spend the whole day together... Good luck w/ everything.. everything will be alright

Answer 4

I was a single mother of 3 just until this april. My 8 year old is have behavior problems.  I was the same way love my kids, but working all the time to be able to give them things, left me too tired for the things that are really important and cost nothing. My son is having difficulties inner acting with other children, he tends to get angry when things arent his way. I see now that is because i would be so stressed to come home get dinner get baths get them to bed so i could chill, that i would yell all the time. When I should have been communcating, listening, have them help cook dinner and simply every day things. A better life does not always have to be material things, when you ask my oldest she only remembers that i wasnt there for alot of things cause i was at work for kid they cant grasp the concept of bills and stuff, she could never go do things cause mom had to work. I want my kids to be able to communicate and function in the world when im not here. Its hard its takes an extrac effort, but I find if I stop and make time for them its usual not long after that i get my time and things are a run alot smoother.

Answer 5

I'm a former single mom, and I still work full time and balance home and husband and children....

Look, you're doing great if you're not hitting, calling names, putting him down or being abusive in any other way.  Losing one's temper with your child isn't a sin.  Yelling isn't a sin.  It's whether you do something really harmful to your kid that's the d**n sin.

Besides, kids need to know that you're angry, and that being angry is a part of being human.  I'm tired, quite frankly, of everyone telling us that yelling at our kids is bad for them.  It's not the yelling, per se, but rather what's being yelled.  If you're yelling, "I'm so mad I could kill you", your kid is going to know the difference between the temper spouting and a real threat.  Especially at 8 years old.

So, give yourself a break.  You're doing fine.  Strive to do better by setting consequences and making them stick, but don't beat yourself up over your stress levels, and how you're parenting.  

Hang in there.

Answer 6

girlfriend i know exactly how your feeling. Im a single mom to of a 2 year old working full time always broke and needing a second job but cant right now. I get so mad so easy and i feel bad afterwards..your not a bad mom he'll thank you for it in the long run

Answer 7

I know its hard...single parent with 3 kids...but you have to make an effort to have some patience with the kids...I know you are EXHAUSTED..but you want them to remember a mom that loves them not screams at them all the time (even though you are working your butt off for a better life) they don't know any different.  

Tell your son you love him ALL THE TIME ...go play in the rain with him (even though you are tired)...he will remember these things...my boys are 12 & 15 now and they remember the good and the bad...I was beginning to be one of those mothers who all I did was yell at them...they are good kids, I was just bitchy.  Hang in there!! The fact that you notice you are yelling too much means you are a good mom!

Answer 8

It is very normal, you are under a lots of stress and responsibility. I would look into church websites under groups. Many many of them will have single mother groups who share the same struggles.

It should provide support for you so you can do the same for your kid,

and it could be a lots of fun and communication

Best luck