I need skills that 9 year old should be able to master?

Question

I am caring for a 9 year old that has ADHD. He is addicted to the Nintendo, has been tutored and learned to read on a 4th grade level. His whole day revolves around getting in his parents' car to grab the game boy and zone out. He uses it in restaurants and in the car. He hates to converse with anyone and answers in angry tones. He is very sassy to his parents.

Since we have to care for him, what would be a solution to this?

Answer 1

It is obvious who is the boss and it is not the adult parents.

That kid is being taught all about authority.

There is a young child we take care of periodically and she behaves well around us. When she is around her mom it is very different. Kids know what they can and cannot do.

Do you want to teach that kid Nintendo or manners and knowledge?

When he comes put the Nintendo away and let him get mad. He will quickly learn who is boss and that he can learn new things.

Answer 2

By care do you mean he is in your care full time?

Because the tips below need to be adhered too, if you want him to become a little more social, and more out going.

Also is he on any medication, and when was he last assessed by the paediatrician?

Set a time line for him to play on the Nintendo, through the week NO Nintendo before school. Nintendo can be played after school and only after home work has been completed, and any small duties he has, such as taking out the rubbish, make his bed, tidy his bedroom etc have been done. So maybe an 1-1 1/2 hours and no more, again this should be dependent on his behaviour through the day, if good he can play, if bad he does not play.

Set a rule that when out at restaurants etc he is not to have the Nintendo, he can only have when he gets home, and that is dependent on his behaviour.

Encourage him to go for a walk or play a sport at lest three times a week, swimming is an excellent sport for ADHD/ADD children, because they can go h**l for leather up and down the pool getting out their anger out.

On the weekends limit his Nintendo time to 3 hour per day, preferably split, and that is after he has done his duties, get him out of the house by going for a walk/swim or to the park to play foot ball etc.

I am not sure if he like movies, but have a Saturday night ritual of him picking out the movie PG of course, some pop corn or some other treat to munch on (maybe something he has chosen to make) and watch it together, then talk about what he liked or did not like about the characters in the movie, was it a good movie etc (this encourages him to talk).

Praise him for excellent behaviour and tell anyone present how good he is, when he is bad send him to his room, and tell him why, but try not to get into an argument, if he starts to yell, walk away (this worked well with my daughter, and a client). Never tell people how naughty he has been, especially when he is present, as this devalues his self worth, and may actually make him act out more, because "it is expected of him" because he is "the naughty boy". I am sure you don't do this, but I have dealt with parents who do.

Be sure he knows what expected of him and what the rules are, try not to be naughty, no verbal abuse or language, not to be rude to me or others, and definitely no aggression, home work must be done, as well as regular task and what the consequence are for bad behaviour, such as less time he has with the Nintendo.

Rewards for good behaviour is excellent in encouraging good behaviour, but you have to let him pick it but with in reason, playing Nintendo is not one, maybe a magazine, CD, DVD etc.

I hope these tips help, and wish you luck

Answer 3

Try to convince the parents that they need to take away the Nintendo and all other video activities, cause there is no reason for his bad attitude.

Answer 4

Try to get him interested in music!

Many music stores offer a rent-to-own program for instruments, so if he likes it, you can keep the instrument for not much more than renting would cost.

This may also help with his ADHD, especially if you get him to fill out practice logs regularly.

I hope this helps!

Answer 5

Well, unfortunately the Nintendo is probably contributing to his ADHD.  It just feeds into the fast action, short attention span.  And there is no excuse for his poor behavior.  I've seen autistic children who behave better!  If his parents are letting him answer everyone in angry tones, sass back to them and focus entirely on his Nintendo, they're not doing a very good job with him.  He needs discipline and training - both of which will help with ADHD.  I'm glad he can read on a 4th grade level but, frankly, so can my 7 year old.  The parents are going to have to take control or they are only harming the child.  If you are caring for him all day, maybe you can start the changes that you feel are appropriate - but you better talk to the parents first because you're in for a couple of rough weeks at least and that's if the parents are okay with it.  If they are as lax as they seem to be, they may not want the changes made.  Everyone needs to stop enabling his behavior and help him to become a responsible adult.  I'm certainly not saying that discipline can cure ADHD, I'm just saying there's no reason for bad behavior to be ignored, regardless of the circumstances.

Answer 6

You need to get him to be willing to work with you first.

Is it possible to use some sort of video game connected to the TV which you can play 2 player games on. This will mean that he learns how to take turns and it will also be something special for him.

Once you've got it worked out that this is special maybe you could bring in a reward system that if he follows a goven set of behaviours (he needs a behaviour modification plan if you want to change his behaviour) he can play the "big" game when he gets back to your place.

For a 9 year old there's heaps of stuff that he can do. You said he can read at a 4th grade level so why not get him some books. You can also go outside with him and play some ball games- it could either be throwing it around or kicking it around.

The main thing is you need him to learn who the boss is but you also need him to trust you otherwise his behaviour could get worse.