I need some Biblical advice on this, quick!!?

Question

Okay, so I was just listening to this sermon on loving your enemies, and it inspired me to reach out to one of my enemies.

My fiance's stepfather really really hates me. In fact, he hates me to the point that he banned me from his house.. it's a long story, but to sum it up really fast, he got into a fight with my fiance's mother about how she loved her children more than him or something, and he banned ME from the house (even though I wasn't even there and hadn't been there in weeks) so that she could see my fiance either, because we live two hours apart and I'm the only one with the car.

So, I wrote him a letter after finding out about this telling him that whatever I did wrong, I was sorry, and I wanted us to make up. He never responded, and I later found out that he felt I was "backing him into a corner" which I don't even understand.

So.. it's been months, and I figured I'd send him an email tell him I still want to make up..

what do I say in the email?? How do you make an extremely mean person's heart melt?

Answer 1

I think you're just going to have to let that fire die down.

Answer 2

why not invite him out for a beer, or to see a game  if he still refuses , he is committing the worst sin of all, "pride' and that 's his problem not yours, communicate with the mother

Answer 3

I think 'I miss you' is very appropriate.

Answer 4

Proverbs 18:19 and Proverbs 18:22 are good verses just for you

18:19-He who loves a quarrel loves sin; he who builds a high gate invites destruction.

18:22-A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

As for what to say in the e-mail is up to you completely. Just don't do what he wants you to do, fight back. There is obviously more to the situation than you know, it will all work out eventually though.  

Answer 5

Well, honey, some people won't BE loved. There are people out there who are so busy shutting you out that they don't want you in. If his response to your letter was that you are "backing him into a corner" he will see your email as "harassment", no matter how kindly you word it. I would let it rest for the time being. Otherwise it sounds like you will just make matters worse.

It is his house, and if he doesn't want you there (rightly or wrongly, I'm not saying he's right) he does have the right to say so. He's an adult, even if he's acting like a child, and you have to respect his decision.

Talk to your fiance, he may know his stepfather better than you do and be able to understand. It sounds like you are caught in the middle. If you haven't taken it up with him, do so.

Answer 6

Hi, how are you?  Are you doing ok?  I'd love to be able to see you and mom.  Would you like to come and visit us?  Can we visit you, we'd really like to see you.  I think about you guys all the time.

Love Priscilla

Answer 7

First of all, you don't make the person change...even with prayer when and how and even if it happens is on G-ds time.  What I have found that prayer does is melt and soften my heart to the situation so that I stop

playing G-d and let go of my resentment, hurt, anguish etc.   Who knows

this may be total grace for you in that you will have to step back from the

scenario and let your fiance figure out how to meet you ( bus, hitch a ride, car pool??? get a motorcycle?)  That would be good. and in the waiting for the dust to fall, as they say in AA, more will be revealed.

Answer 8

There is insufficient information to make a judgment on your situation. The only thing I can add is that your fiance with no car could indicate a man without a job. A man without a job has no business marrying anyone, unless you want to support him all your life. The other thing is that your fiance has lived with his father a long time. That is significant.  Is there unresolved anger? Immaturity? Don't think for one moment that you can change anyone beside yourself. Love does not make up for all lack. What looks like love in the beginning can evaporate as quickly as the morning sun. Then you look back and regret. So even though emotions get in the way, look before you leap. After you leap, it is too late.  

Answer 9

A little love at a time.  He may not be able to take it in yet.  Pray that God will soften his heart.

Answer 10

I find this question quite intriguing... Well I'm not a Christian, nor do I know much of the Bible, but I do have advice for you, and you may not like it...

The only way I can think of making up is to prove to him that your not joking when you say you want to mend the situation. So in your Email don't say sorry, or that you want to talk again. Be more direct, say something to the effect of, "I want to start fresh, and I am willing to prove that I can do so"  You can mess around with it( so it's from you and your heart, not some dude on Yahoo)

Also, the purpose or the direct approach is to prove your not some sorry, whinny, baby that doesn't keep their words(not saying you are) it should give a better chance of mending your relationship.

-Best of luck

Answer 11

You're not going to be able to deal with this until you know and understand exactly why he did what he did.

Answer 12

You can't make someone change. The Holy Ghost has to do that. All you can really do is pray and try to be nice.

Answer 13

Prayer is the best thing, but it isn't always the quickest. Pray for him and all of his family unceasingly.