I need some Pros and Cons.....?

Question

I need some pros and cons about adoption.

I'm 18, and graduated with a dual diploma from HS, and the father is also graduated from HS with a college prep. seal. My mom, and his parents all want me to give my baby up for adoption. I'm just so lost, I have no clue what to do!

Can you all please give me some pros and cons about this?

Answer 1

PROS....

Your baby is alive

Your baby can have an open adoption there for you can see your baby when you want.

You can choose to what family to give your baby to

CONS...

I don't have any its better for the baby to be alive instead of killing him/her . But if they want you to give up the baby and you dont want to and you want to try to raise your baby then go ahead and try and show everyone of them that you can do it. Good luck and i wish you and your baby the best. :)

*Mother of 2 year old little girl and 32 weeks pregnant with a boy :)

Answer 2

You need to do some deep soul searching.  When you first found out, was adoption the first thing that came to mind?  Do you think you are ready for a child?  Adoption it is the greatest gift that anyone could ever give, but it is not something that you should be pressured into.  Just do whats in your heart and not what the parents want, just to please them.  Honestly in most cases both choices are winners,  the baby gets the love that it needs and deserves.  Good luck with this, follow your heart!  

Answer 3

This is going to be very hard but i'll try to put myself in your shoes:

Cons:  Regret or Resentment

You are giving up your baby, thats part of you.

It will be alot harder to give uo than you think

the father could leave you alone with baby, how would you afford it

Pros: You will make everyone happy

You could continue your life on the path you had intended

You will not be as finacially strapped as you would be if you had baby.

I can't think of much more.  You really need to look inside of yourself and do what you feel is best for you and your child not for everyone else.  Good Luck you have some hadr thinking to do.

Answer 4

Ok well there really is no black and white answer to this and you ultimatly have to make your mind up for yourself.

Pros:

Since your young, but at least you have an education unlike some young mothers, you do have a future ahead of you. If you keep the baby then you could not only provide a great future for you but for your baby as well. Yes it would be hard but there are women out there who do this everyday, myself included.

Another pro but on the opposite side is that if you decide to give up the baby for adoption then you are offering the child a chance to have a better life then you could provide. Some couple are unable to have children and I am sure would love more than anything to have the chance to have one. There are a lot of good adoption agencies out there.

Cons:

Since you are so young you haven't really had a chance to live your life yet. Having a baby at this age would present some obsticles for you to over come that I don't think you would be able to handle at your age.

Con on the other side of giving the baby away is that would be giving your child away. There is a connection you feel when your child is born that no one can take away from you and you would feel like part of you is gone. There is nothing you can do to get the child back after you go through the adoption process, and the parents might not even let you be a part of the childs life.

This is a tough situation but if it was me.....I would keep the baby. There are so many wonderful things about being a parent that only emotions can describe and no amount of pros and cons can take away.I hope this helps.  

Answer 5

just remember that if you do feel you aren't equiped to care for a child but still want to be a part of it's life yo ucan opt for an open adoption. it can be as open as you and the adoptive parents agree on. in some cases it is just a letter a few pictures a year but could be as much as you seeing them once every week or so.

also when it comes down to it keeping your child has nothing to do with your parents make this decision for you, not them.

Answer 6

you need to make the descison!!!

my mom had a baby at 17 an gave it up for adoption and every day she thinks about her and regrets it!

keep your baby

Answer 7

My grandmother gave up her first baby for adoption. She said it is VERY emotionally painful-basically a piece of your heart is ripped out and you will never get it back.

However, like with many other things in life, some pain means you are growing in a positive way, but to grow, you have to experience pain... you are going to be giving the baby a family who can probably provide a lot more for him/her and is a nuclear, stable family. That is SOOOOOOOOOO important for a child. I don't care what other people will tell you, all the valid studies show a child thrives when they are in an intact, mother/father, husband/wife home (nuclear family).

Keeping the baby may be a bad choice because, even though this is your baby, it will put tons of stress on your relationship with the father, which can cause a lot of stress for your child. It's easy to take out relationship problems/frusterations on your child (I know when I have had an argument with my husband, I tend to be shorter with my kids), you are still VERY young (although I am not opposed to young parents, don't get me wrong) and haven't yet gotten a college education. Nowadays you basically have to have a college ed to get a really good job (sadly) and with a baby it's much more difficult to get those things, and without them, you really can't provide the life  a child deserves.

It's not impossible, and I'm NOT telling you not to keep your baby, just trying to give you my insight.

I'm very blessed. I married a man who has a good career and can provide what our family needs. I am able to stay home with our children, which is something else that is very important. If you aren't married to the dad, you will probably have to put your child in daycare, which is not only expensive, but really, isn't ideal for a child's developement (children really need their mommy to raise them to thrive)...

Think about your options and look into PRIVATE adoption. You will probably feel MUCH better about that option if you get to choose who ends up with your baby... just be VERY aware that open adoption is a very risky choice and you should probably steer clear of it...

Answer 8

Well first, it sounds like you don't want to give the baby up, so remember that this is your choice, not his.

You need to evaluate whether or not you can support this baby (emotionally and financially), if you think you can and you want this baby, then keep it.

Good luck

Answer 9

i think you should keep the baby think about your child not yourself how would you feel if you was adopted...so much goes on in foster care and homes where children are adopted abuse,rape etc. not saying all are like that but you wouldn't know...a baby is a gift from GOd and it's millions of people that can't have children..i think you should accept God's gift and keep your child..i had a son at 16 and i wouldn't trade him for anything in the world..full time college student own place own car and working you can do it! Congratulations and good luck

Answer 10

Its your choice, not theirs.

If you do want to go ahead with adoption, I HIGHLY suggest open-adoption where you choose the parents so you know it will go to a good home and not be abuse or left to the system for it's entire life.

The choice is yours, if you want the baby, you can keep it, you don't need their approval or consent to have it.

Good luck to you!!!