I need some advice from a parent who can help?

Question

I've just had triplets Aiofe, Belle and Max a few days ago, my older daughter, Harlie, who is 6, is really not fitting in.

She will refuse to hold her younger siblings, or even help me out with them..

She told me she feels unloved and leftout. I try to make as much time as i can to be with her. I do not know what to do anymore and it's making me really miserable to hear this from her. I love her so much and i don't want her to feel this way,

does anyone have any advice?

Answer 1

Have someone come over to watch the triplets. Take Harlie somewhere that she likes to go. Maybe see a movie that is out that she wants to see and then take her to dinner at her favorite place (this gives you and dad a break too).

Afterwords take her home and take her to the babies when they are sleeping and explain to her that even though the new babies are here that she is still special and you still love her. Tell her she has new responsibilities now as an older sister and you would love her help. Assure her any time she feels left out she can just tell you and you will pay attention to her.

Answer 2

a 6 year old is telling you she feels "unloved"??? Does she watch Dr PHil a lot??

You need to sit her down and explain to her that she is the big girl now and mom needs her help. She used to be a little baby and need all the attention, and now it's the triplets' turn.

Involve her in the care of the kids. Ask her to hand you the diaper, give them a pacie, etc. Tell her Good Job!! all the time, and What a Big Girl!

It is normal for a 6 year old to be jealous and selfish and you must redirect her away from that. Dad should pay a lot of attention to her too.

Answer 3

I agree with the other posters that say to get a babysitter for the triplets and take Harlie out in a Harlie and Mommy day.

I just have a question: was Harlie an only child before the triplets came around? If so, you need to understand that she was used to have you all for herself and to be the center of attention and it's probably gonna take her quite a while to get used to her new family.

You say you had the triplets a few days ago, that's by far not enough time for her to get over this little bump.

So, be prepared for one Mommy and I day not being enough. You probably won't see any major changes in the next few weeks, you'll just have to keep paying as much attention to her as you possibly can.

Also it may be a good idea to get some other relatives/family members involved, she will still need your attention a lot but it will help her feel appreciated.

One more thing, you may try to engage her in things she can do and the triplets can't. Like you can ask her to sing you a song or dance with you and point out that the triplets can't do it. Sounds kinda silly but it will make her feel more "special" and she'll love it, especially if you break out into an standing ovation after her performance.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Did you prepare her while being pregnant? She is probly just being selfish! Involve her more. changing dipers,shower times,nap times...all that is good. Have her read a book to them. Its just a matter of time, since she was your only one shes feeling that way. Dont feel bad..kids are very smart. Good luck! oh and Congrats!