I need some cheering up please help and

Question

tell your best joke or something that makes you happy ! thanks so much !

:) have a good day xoxo

NO MEAN PEOPLE ALLOWED

Answer 1

What is white, black, and red all over??

A zebra painted red.

:D

Answer 2

the smell of state fair food

kittens

happy babies

PJs & a good movie(popcorn optional)

Answer 3

a picture with 2 piece of turds having s*x with halos over their heads and angel wings and a caption taht says HOLY ******* ****!

Answer 4

There once was a bear& a rabbit that hated each other. One day they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each 3 wishes. The bear went first and he said, "I wish to be the only male bear in this forest." And he got his wish.

The rabbit said, "I want a motorcycle helmet." And he got his wish. The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the U.S. and all the rest were female." And he got his wish. The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorcycle to go w/ that helmet." And he got his wish. The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females." And he got his wish. Then It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish that bear was g*y."

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When i get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to h**l?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him!"



there is a young girl in sunday school and her teacher wants to ask her 3 questions

1. her teacher asked her "who created the earth we live on"

a boy pokes with a pencil and she yells "god almighty". the teachers says "thats right"

the next question that the teacher asks her who died on the cross for our sins? the boy pokes her again and she yell "jesus christ". her teacher says "that right"

3. the last question is. "What did eve says to adam when they were makin babies. the boy pokes her agian and she yells "i swear to god if u poke me with that thing one more time i will break it in half"

New Inventions by Blondes:

The water-proof towel

Glow in the dark sunglasses

Solar powered flashlights

Submarine screen doors

A book on how to read

Inflatable dart boards

A dictionary index

Powdered water

Pedal powered wheel chairs

Water proof tea bags

Watermelon seed sorter

Zero proof alchohol

Reusable ice cubes

See through tiolet tissue

Skinless bananas

Do it yourself roadmap

Helicopter ejector seat

(The blonde 1 is funny no offence if u are blonde =P)

Answer 5

I have right to skip this question cause you did enuf lol today. :)

Answer 6

whats red and sits in the corner ???

a naughty strawberry

i hope you feel better x*x

Answer 7

[[[[ H U G G G S ]]]]

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work.

A horse walks into a bar

The bartender asks 'Why the long face?'

(Because it's a horse)

Two old men were sitting in their rocking chairs.

Elmer said:  'You know, when I was in my twenties,

I went on a safari.  A lion jumped out from behind

some bushes (ROARRRR!!!!).  You know, I pooped

in my pants!'

Gene said: 'Good heavens! I would have pooped in

my pants too!'

Elmer: 'No ~ just now, when I said ROARRRR!!!!

Hope you feel better soon!

Answer 8

Blonde In  A Museum:

After spending two hours in the museum , a blondie stands in front of one of the paintings, then she says to the artists: This is the ugliest painting in the museum.

The artist replied : excuse me madam, but this is a mirror not a painting.

:]

Answer 9

haha i am not mean, here's a funny joke i learned

ok, so there is a plane and it crashes on an island and only these 4 guys survive,and there walkin around wondering what to do when a couple of cannibals come by and say if you shove 10 fruits up your butt without making a face we will give you our private plane,if you make a face we'll eat you. So the 4 guys go looking for fruit,the first guy comes back with apples,he was on his 3rd apple and he made a face, so the cannibals eat him.The second guy comes back with oranges he was on his 5th orange and he made a face so they ate him.The third guy comes back with grapes he was on his 9th grape and he laughed so they ate him.Ok, so the first 3 guys are up in heaven when the 1st and 2nd guys ask the 3rd why he laughed bc he could have got the private plane. The 3rd guy said he laughed when the he saw the 4th guy coming back with watermelons. Get it?

Answer 10

More funny yet. aaqib, does not know the difference

between a "rooster or a hen," when it comes to chickens.<}:-})

Answer 11

Ha! I suck at telling jokes so bad it's not even funny!

There's this really stupid joke that only makes sense in spanish and it always gets laughs. It's an "I'ts funny 'cause it's retarded" kind of joke.

"Habia una vez un pollito que se llamaba maiz. Fue al desierto y se hizo popcorn, llego un elefante y se lo comio"   ⌐_⌐

See? I suck! I'm more of a sarcastic/dark/burlesque joker ^__^

Answer 12

banned commercials! http://www.youtube.com/results?search_qu...

Answer 13

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ggg0bsUfL...   its funny

and umm im not really a funny kid but im a try \

boo i sacred you?

Answer 14

here watch this it is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo gonna make you laugh I promise you!

well here is a few....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQm_8vX3s...

after that one watch this one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9KK3FlVC...

and look for a few others if you like em hope you do they are freakin funny! lol

Answer 15

OK WELL WHENEVER IM SAD I DO THIS **IT ONLY WORKS IF YOU DO IT OUT LOUD**

http://funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/3865...

BE HAPPY!!!!!

[[BY THE WAY I DONT KNOW IF IT WILL HELP YOU BECAUSE ALL I THINK OF IT IS FUNNY NOTHING HELPS ME WHEN IM SAD ANYMORE CAUSE I AM SO MUCH]]

OK I HAVE A JOKE:

KNOCK KNOCK

WHOSE THERE

BANANA

BANANA WHO?

KNOCK KNOCK

WHOSE THERE?

BANANA

BANANA WHO?

KNOCK KNOCK

WHOSE THERE?

ORANGE

ORANGE WHO?

ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDNT SAY BANANA AGAIN?

I KNOW ITS NOT FUNNY BUT STILL KNOCK KNOCK JOKES DONT REALLY WORK BUT I HAVE ANOTHER ONE THIS DOESNT WORK EITHER BECAUSE UR NOT SAYING ITT

KNOCK KNOCK

WHOSE THERE?

WILL U REMEMBER ME?

YES

WILL U REMEMBER ME IN A WEEK?

YES

WILL U REMEMBER ME IN A MONTH?

YES

KNOCK KNOCK

WHOSE THERE?

U ALREDY FORGOT??!!??

I KNOW THEY AREN'T FUNNY BECAUSE I CANT MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH ON YAHOO ANSWERS ESPECIALY WHEN IM NOT HAPPY EITHER.....SORRY FEEL BETTER

Answer 16

why did the chicken cross the road?

to get to the other side

Why did it want to get to the otherside

to get to the pub

Why did it want to get to the pub

to go to the toilet

Why did it want to go to the toilet

because all the c***s were there

PS: the chicken was female......

Answer 17

I am not a joker well here is my joke:

Knock Knock

Who's there?

The interrupting chicken

the interrupting chicke.,

BAAAAK! ( sound like a chicken ) you have to interrup them when they ask you the interrupting chicken who)

sorry for the bad spelling

Answer 18

i love you

Answer 19

knock knock

whos there

orange

orange wh

orange u glad i didnt say banana