I need some constructive criticism on this poem. I'd GREATLY appreciate it?

Question

Can you help me make it better? Constructive criticism please...

You form the phrases of love.

Your words surge

With the tides of your lips

And float to my ears

Where they linger for a fleeting moment

On the last breath of a dying day.

Your words are mine alone,

Transcending time

Until they filter down into my soul

Making me whole again.

They fill me up,

Righting the void

Created by the distance

Between two hearts

And rise to claim their home

Among celestial perfection

Orbiting two hearts for eternity,

Emblazoning their grace

Upon heaven's gentle skyscape

To remind us of these moments

For all our lives.

They confess their hope

To remain attached to our hearts forever

As their smoldering embers

Bind us together,

Two star-cross'd lovers desperately trying to

Untangle the web of constellations that

Imprisons our emotions.

We'll escape

And search east of the sun

For the glimmer of hope

That arrives with each new day.

Answer 1

This is a nice love poem

because it talks about the stages

and how they occur.

Here is how I would change a few things.

Instead of saying you form the phrases of love

( You form the phases of love ) The last two words can be

( in love )(about love )

(Your words go from the lips and float in my ears)

Where they linger for alot of moments

This is paragraph one

Paragraph two

They fill me up,

(emptying) the void

(To creating the distance)

or (created by the distance)

Paragraph Three

( The two confess their hopes )

In order to remain  (in) our heart forever

( Build us together )

Answer 2

i liked it no no i should say that i thought it was great...... me personnally would just  change where each stanza or paragraph ended.....