I need some decipline advice, at a preschool, daycare?

Question

ok, im 18 and im in highschool. im takin this class where i work at a daycare, well not actualy work but more like observe and help out. anyways me and another girl in my class work with the two year olds. a couple of days ago we had all the kids playing with puzzles. this one little boy, we'll call him jason, and this little girl, we'll call her amy, were sitting by each other. and the little boy grabed one of her puzzle pieces that was laying on the table, the little girl started getting up set and wanting it back, and the little boy keep saying "i just want to help you". well i say to the little boy "jason you have to give the peice back" and he tells me he is just wanting to help. so i tell him to give it back alittle rougher, and then the other girl in my class comes over and grabs the peice out of the boys and hands, and sets him at a differnt table and says that he can't get up untill he finishes his puzzle. the little boy is crying and everything.

i'll write more

Answer 1

Those in charge at the preschool should tell you how to handle such situations; there must be guidelines.

Basically, there is no sense being mean or raising your voice to children, especially 2-year-olds. You were right to encourage him to give back the puzzle piece, gently but firmly, and redirect him to his own puzzle while explaining that the girl he took it from wants to do her puzzle "all by herself" or whatever fits the situation.

Grabbing the piece and forcefully sitting him elsewhere was not the right approach. They learn by example, so you must exhibit the behaviors they should learn.

Answer 2

You were handling it more closely to how it should be handled.  It sounds like you do a wonderful job there.

Remember that 2 year olds (and even older) often come across the frustration that they cannot communicate well with others.  If we end up being forceful with them and angry, that just compounds that frustration.

A different way of saying what you said, that may be more effective, is "Jason, thank you for helping.  That is Amy's work.  Would you rather give the puzzle piece to Amy or do you want me to give it to Amy?"

You have done three things with this:

1)  You've told him you understand he is just trying to help.

2)  You have set boundaries.

3)  You've provided him with a choice (and thus still some power) into how the situation will be resolved.  He may give it to you or Amy, but it goes back to Amy in the end.

If that does not work, there are other techniques, depending on what exactly happens next.

If he putz the puzzle piece in anyway, do recognize that this is part of being 2.  He just sees something out of order and is naturally inclined to put it in order.  That is how 2 year olds work.  This is why they can spend forever just dumping stuff out and putting it back.  Now, however, is the time to learn that this can be upsetting to other people.  If he does that and Amy gets upset, turn your compassion towards Amy.  Give her a hug and let her know you know how hard it is when someone tries to step in and do the work for you.  

If he won't give it up at all, he may need to be moved away from the group for a little while.  Get him involved in another activity or move his puzzle somewhere else.  Tell him he may come back when he feels he is ready to give the piece back.  Don't do it as a punishment - do it as letting him know that his behavior is just disruptive to the group, so he may come back when he does not feel like doing that any more.  He will likely come back very quickly.

I'm wondering what the adults in charge of the classroom were doing at the time.  It is illegal for you to be alone in the room without them present and I hope they are not just leaving you there.  Did they have any insight into the incident to help you?

Matt

Answer 3

sounds like you did the right thing, the only problem with that is the parents will not like it if they find out. Troubled children often are that way because they don't get enough attention at home. I should know, my youngest child is a HOLY TERROR!!! but my other two are wonderful!

Answer 4

Never rough physically but I don't think that's what you really mean - you mean rougher verbally?  2 year olds just need redirected - some 2 year olds want to be helpful, some 2 year olds do NOT want to be helped! It was Amy's puzzle so Jason needs to ask and if Amy says no, then Jason makes another choice. They are pretty young for this scenario so you would need to give them the words to use and redirect Jason to another activity - gently!

Answer 5

you have to be understanding in preschool. the other girl in your class should not have handled the situation that way. Maybe the boy should have been able to help in little girl a little bit and the little girl should have been talked to about why the boy took the piece and that he wanted to help

Answer 6

I think the other girl was a little to tough on Jason.  I think that sometimes when children get into trouble a lot, it's because of the way they are approached and spoken too.  I know it's hard they are only 2 and all they know is: they want what they want.  Next time, get down to his level, take his hands into yours, look at him and speak in a soft gentle tone.  "Jason, I know you want to help, and I really like that you want to help, but Amy doesn't really want help right now.  So maybe you can help her later, okay? Thank you so much for your help".   As you are saying this, spontaneously take the puzzle piece or whatever out of his hand...he won't even know you took it from him.  Works like buttah! ;)  Even if he gets upset, he will still comply.  Sometimes punishing isn't always the best way.  Hope that helps a little.  Good luck!

Answer 7

I'm a preschool teacher and i think that you didn't Handel it the right way. first you said that Jason said that he wanted to help which is a nice thing to do but since Amy didn't need his help i would have walked to him and got down to his eye level and tolled him that it is so nice of him to help Amy but Amy wants to do this by her self so can you please give Amy the puzzle piece back. if he did that would be great but if he didn't then i would take the puzzle piece from him because now i know that he doesn't want to help he just want to bug his friend. you thought that he didn't want to help because he always gets in trouble all the time but you need to shoe him you reaction and how proud of him you would be when he makes a good choice.