I need some grammar Help: Can you Show me What i need to change?

Question

http://www.protagonize.com/story/hmhas-wolf#comment2965

For some reason i does not matter how slow i read or how loud i read it out loud i see what i want to see and not what is right.

Answer 1

This is a little long to edit here.  I would suggest copying the entire thing, and then paste into WORD or other word processing program.   Then use the TOOLS option and go to spell and grammar check.  This should help you get rid of most of the mechanical errors such as wrong verb tense , missing verbs, sentence fragments etc.  To get you started, let's look at just the first paragraph.

"Everyone knows not to do anything in a snow storm, especially like going outside; this one was just the as good as any other winter storm. However,  there are those people who have nothing better to do. Around 8 in the morning, it started to blow in. Dr. McCarthy watched out his apartment window as the snow started to come down faster. It wasn’t sticking to the ground yet, but was very hard to see through. Since it had started, he had seen it go from a light snow to nearly a white out. "  ( I tried not to change any major words or ideas, just grammar and punctuation.)

Answer 2

this one was just the as good as any other winter storm.

Dr. McCarthy watch (watch is out of place)

These are just a few things I found in the first few paragraphs. It is much too long to read all the way through. Especially stopping to write down the errors.

I would take it to an adult such as a teacher or librarian. They are pretty handy with words.