Question:

I need some guidance and advice please.?

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I’ve known this girl for a while now, but I just recently started to converse with her a lot over the summer. I truly care about her. She just recently moved away to college last week and I’ve been devastated. She moved five hours away and I’m crushed that I can’t talk to her as much anymore. I really feel like we have a connection when we talk, but a girl that beautiful is bound to not stay single long so I decided to send her a message telling her that I liked her and how I wanted to tell her over the summer but never got a chance and she responded to me something along the lines “I’m probably the nicest guy she knows, and she really means that. That I’m considerate and kind and an all around great guy, but she’s just not really looking for relationships at the time and doesn’t want to ruin our friendship if we went out since relationships with friends previously didn’t work out well.” I responded with something like “The last thing I would want to do is ruin our friendship, but that I understand that she isn’t looking for a relationship at the time, and who knows what the future holds. When she starts looking for relationships again that maybe I’d be considered, and maybe I wouldn’t but no matter what I would still love to remain friends.”

The entire situation reminded me of a quote I herd from somewhere that I would like to share.

“A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, you have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.” – Anonymous

So what I'm really asking for is for some output. What do you guys think of this situation. I'm under the impression that she likes me, but not the same way that I like her and what she said to me was just a way to let me down easily. Any advice on how I can improve my situation, or just throw in your two cents?

“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you...I lost all control.” – Anonymous

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4 ANSWERS


  1. Sorry to say this, but I strongly feel that your situation is a Dead End.

    I’ve seen this situation many at times and your first quotation is quite right.

    Women tend to see thru this “Nice Guys”… Looking for other guys.

    This reminds me of a Korean Drama that I once watched not long ago. It’s titled Salt Doll aka Victim of Love. If you’ve got the time and am curious…

    Go ahead, watch it.

    In a way the main character is linked to your situation.

    Sorry, I can't say it out as I’m a little tired here.

    The answer to your situation lies at the end of that drama.

    And the wise thing to do at the moment is to not waste your time … move on for betterment.


  2. you were friend material. Girls keep guys like you around just because...support, friendship, talk.

    go out and get some hobbies and meet other women..you'll find lots of them who'll like you for more than just your resume.  

  3. Sorry dude, I've been this girl before.  It sounds like she's really just not interested in being more than friends with you.  If she really liked you and wanted to be with you I think she'd be "ready for a relationship."  Sounds like she just wanted to let you down easy, or maybe she just wants to concentrate on school or something and not be distracted by a relationship.  For whatever reason though, she doesn't want to be with you right now.  I wouldn't lose hope though.  Right now I would just try being the best friend possible to her and maybe in the future she will like you.  I had a friend that this happened with.  He was in love with me for years and I never saw him as more than a friend.  Then I went away and realized how much I missed him and ended up falling in love with him.  You obviously mean a lot to her so I wouldn't press the "relationship" card anymore for awhile because she's not ready and if you keep bringing it up it will probably push her away.  Just be a good friend and prove to her that you would be an incredible lover!

  4. sounds like she does

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