I need some help, I am just not sure anymore...

Question

Here is the deal, I live out on my own with my husband and 3 children, I own my own home but it is about 3 hours from my mothers house so i go down to see her every month for 2 weeks. This past 7 weeks my mother was under tons of stress planning 3 events that lined up within 3 weeks one of them being a wedding for her friend, so i passed off these tirades of yelling at everyone for nothing as just that she was stressed. This morning (BTW my mom has nothing but work and relaxing in her schedule) went on yet another tirade over her house having her stuff all over the place and the house needing to be picked up. Yesterday i offered to help her out and clean up a bit and she told me "No i will take care of it its my house." So i didn't bother worrying about it, i just worked on the thank you cards for my son's first birthday party gifts and let my twin girls just play with their brother. I admit that my kids left some toys around and forgot to pick them up so i explained to her calmly that they are not used to having all of their toys all at once and i will pick them up. After she left for work i realized this is a concistancy that happens even when i am not around because my younger sister calls me crying about it and i remember over the course of my youth this happening all the time. What is going on with my mom that she acts this way? what can i do to make her stop? this is abuse and i dont think any of my family can take any more of it.

Answer 1

Sounds like a lot of older women these days are getting this way. I don't think she is intentionally trying to be this way its probably the only way she knows how to be...A lot of older women who are stressed out a lot  tend to be this way and they never know unless someone points it out to them. You should try and talk to your mother and tell her how she is pushing you, and your family away, and tell her really and truly how you feel. She may not ever know if you dont explain to her. Hope this helps.