I need some help...feeling very depressed?

Question

For the past 15 years I have dealt with major depression. Within the past couple years, I have tried to turn it around and try to get over this horrible "disease" that has been haunting me for a long time. I have gone to see a counselor, I have taken up new hobbies and have been writing a lot in my journel.

Lately, I feel like everything I've worked for is falling apart.

1. I feel like my relationship with my boyfriend is going no where. I love him, but it doesn't feel like he cares.

2. I hate my job!!!! I hate what I do there and I'm not getting paid as much as I should. I dread going there every single day.

3. I have a huge amount of debt! there is no way I am ever going to get out of it. the bills keep coming, and I have no way of paying for them.

4. I am a failure in my father's eyes. He even told me that I am a dissapointment to him and that i was a mistake. ( if that doesn't make someone depressed...i don't know what does)

I'm really scarred right now. thoughts of suicide are going through my head. The last time I felt like this, I tried to kill myself my overdosing. I have no one to turn too. No "real" friends or family members. I feel so alone right now.

Answer 1

o my god! ok if your boyfriend doesn't say he loves you, when you do, ditch his sorry ***. i realize that you love him, but you need someone that will love you back at the same time.

quit your job. find another one that pays better and makes you happy. find something that you are good at. something you like to do

as for your bills. cut back on some stuff that you could live without. tv, internet, phone, etc.

and as for your father, i dont know what you should do about that. try to find out why you are a "disapointment" and maybe try to make it so that you are not.

and lastly, they make medicine for this kind of c**p. they make you happy.

and if you ever need anybody to talk to, like as a friend or what have you. i will help.

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Answer 2

Im so sorry that you are suffering another bout of depression.

1. Have you asked your boyfriend how he feels about the relationship and what is happening between you?  Do you know whether he loves you or not?  How would he feel if you did try to kill yourself without asking him these questions?

2. A lot of people hate their jobs - what they do and how much they are getting paid. Some even dread going there every day but do so in order to pay their bills, keep food on the table and a roof over their heads.  Are you in a position where you may be able to get another job with more money?  Or even go out and apply for a better position?

3. Alot of people have huge debts, the bills keep coming, and they feel they have no way to paying them all.  Have you thought of taking up a part-time job to cover expenses?  Can you work from home?

4. Your father simply stated his opinion, you dont say when he did that, but he did and Im sorry that you have had to deal with it.  Does he know that you are depressed?  Does he remember having said this to you at all?  Have you spoken with him about your depression and how it made you feel to hear him say that to you?

At the very least you have a job, a boyfriend, a place to live... and that is something to be cheerful about, many people dont even have this much.  Do something to pick yourself out and ask a lot more people their opinions as to what you can do BEFORE you make any drastic decisions.

Answer 3

You put the word disease in quotation marks, as though it weren't something real.  Depression is a real disease.  If you have already attempted suicide, you know that it is a deadly disease.  

You also apparently have access to drugs that you can use to kill yourself.  Do you take them recreationally?  Drug and alcohol abuse exacerbate depression a great deal.  

Your counselor did not help you.  You should try another one.  I have been through this and all counselors are not the same.  Find someone that you can really talk to who does not judge you.

A credit counselor is also in order.

If you took an anti-depressant in the past that did not help, tell your doctor.  There are many different kinds of anti-depressants, and brain chemistry is still a pioneering science right now.  Prozac made me feel like a Zombie, but Wellbutrin works wonders.  It depends on your own physical makeup.

You are not a failure.  You are an adult, and your father is a flawed human being.

Depression is not normal.  We just get used to it.  

As for the job, there is a support group for that.  It's called "everyone," and we meet at the bar.  (paraphrasing Norm from the TV show Cheers)